hotcrossbuns Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I've been out of a long-term relationship (9 years) for a little over 6 months. During this time I've noticed an troublesome dating habit. I find myself being very interested in someone. There is a lot of excitement and flirting in the initial stages, but once I have this person fully interested in me, I tend to lose interest in them. At first I thought maybe I was just enjoying the attention and unwittingly leading guys on. However, I find that I am genuinely interested during those initial stages. It's when things start to calm down, that I start to notice things that turn me off or rub me the wrong way. I haven't been in the dating game for a long time, so I am not sure if this is part of the process. You meet someone new, become infatuated to the surface, and once you get to know that person, you realize it's not for you. I guess I am a little concerned that this will be an ongoing habit.
Shygirl15 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 You're not completely over your past relationship, perhaps?
Author hotcrossbuns Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 No. I am. lol. I guess I don't need much of answer now that I have had time to mull it over in my head. I have been in a relationship for 9 years and have been out in the dating world for only 6 months. I'm still regaining my bearings, feeling things out, and rediscovering what I want.
vonerik012 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I've been out of a long-term relationship (9 years) for a little over 6 months. During this time I've noticed an troublesome dating habit. I find myself being very interested in someone. There is a lot of excitement and flirting in the initial stages, but once I have this person fully interested in me, I tend to lose interest in them. At first I thought maybe I was just enjoying the attention and unwittingly leading guys on. However, I find that I am genuinely interested during those initial stages. It's when things start to calm down, that I start to notice things that turn me off or rub me the wrong way. I haven't been in the dating game for a long time, so I am not sure if this is part of the process. You meet someone new, become infatuated to the surface, and once you get to know that person, you realize it's not for you. I guess I am a little concerned that this will be an ongoing habit. Nothing, that's called being an American female.
djhall Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Nothing, that's called being an American female. Actually, I was thinking, "Sound perfectly normal if she were a guy"
ed-205 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 You need to stop thinking there's something wrong with yourself, because the fact that you question your own behavior shows that you have the ability to alter it as you feel necessary. My guess is that you are looking to replace the relationship you are missing on some subconscious level, and realizing that in the end that it's not as easy as just getting guys interested in you. You have to be genuinely interested in the guy yourself, and that's the difficult part. You might try engaging in some very casual activities where you can befriend some guys that you have no interest in dating - join a bowling league, volunteer to work at a food bank, join a chess club, church, whatever. That way, you might learn to slow down a bit, and get to know them as friends rather than potential replacements.
flc Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Nothing, that's called being an American female. I agree but it is not limited to American females, the Latin girls I date are the same. The first few weeks its hot as hell then all of sudden they want to back off. Maybe just a fear of commitment or being with just one guy who knows but its not like I'm asking anyone to marry me int he first couple of months. very confusing but I am starting to get use to it.
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