Tomcat33 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Because we were raised to believe that your word is your bond, not something to be taken lightly. And also that lying is wrong. Call me crazy but people should face the consequences of their actions. Sheesh! Ok that makes sense. If it was for punishment then ok I can see why you would say that. I believe honesty is the best policy too, BUT some men can be very pushy and when it happens in the work place it can make it very uncomfortable for us. When I first started at my current job the third week I was there one of the guys came up to my desk and said "hey would you like to go for lunch sometime?" I was preoccupied and just went "yeah yeah sure" not really thinking about it. Then a week later he comes by my desk and says "hey so about that lunch when would you like to go and what is your preference?" and this made me realise he was hitting on me, before when he asked I thought it was maybe a group thing like people got together and went for lunch, so I say "oh is this a group thing then who's all going?" and he looks at me seriously and says "no not a group thing, you an me what do you say we can grab some pub grub" It was at that point I realised what he was asking, so I said "oh well I don't know I usually like to take my lunch at my desk and I tend to eat light plus I am still trying to ease into my new role so we'll see" Two weeks later, again, "so did you want to go grab that lunch this week?" Again so persistent not getting the drift, I had to put my foot down and say "no look I'm sorry but I don't think it's apropriate or a good idea that you and I go for lunch" he pretty much avoided me since that day. So you are wrong not ALL men appreciate honesty some get offended and you become a "bitch" Moral of the story is, if a guy can't handle rejection he shouldn't be making it this uncomfortable for a woman co-worker. In a way I understand what Shygirl did and why she agreed to it, but on the same token just a no thanks has to do. They insist insist insist insist making a woman say yes JUST to get rid of him. Men like this that don't take no for an answer need to learn to back off, and generally I am very considerate when it comes to men asking me out especially if I am not into them, but it is so annoying after a while when you keep saying no and excuse after excuse and they cannot take "no thanks" for an answer. Surely they must realise this. Sounds like the guy in this case is exactly the same.
rod_in_gtown Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Yes and no, I did mean that shygirl go to the dinner to keep her word and possibly use it as a learning experience to just say no instead of saying yes for pressure. so I guess you could say it was punishment And a guy and a girl at the office can (in my opinion) go have lunch without it being a date. I for one don't want to eat alone all the time and just because I ask someone to go with me doesn't mean I'm looking to hit on them. And you could've asked someone to join you if you were not comfortable doing it one on one. But I digress, if he thinks you're a bitch for choosing not to go to lunch with him that's his problem, not yours.
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