BklynGuy Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 Sorry but it's a huge hurdle. I have to agree 100% with this advice. Women want some too and I can tell you there's no substitute for real life experience. Keep this info. to yourself. If you haven't done 'basic training' most will be uneasy about sending you into heavy combat. I have no idea where this metaphor is going. Just go out and get laid, that's an order.
Disillusioned Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Reply to the 41 yr old. Having sex is actually good for the health. And it feels sooooo good. If you do it with a healthy woman, even if you are not in love just for the fun of it. And you both agree in doing that, there is no reason why you shouldn't try it. I think you might be losing something good there. And no, there's nothing bad in being a virgin, but it's as if you'd not be like, trying fruit. I mean, nobody says if you don't eat fruit you won't be living right? But it is healthy, natural and sweet. And if you haven't tried fruit at 40. Then well, you are losing an excellent flavor, you just don't know because you haven't tried it yet. Kewl! Maybe I'll be lucky enough to get prostate cancer and it will spread to my bones and I'll croak!
You'reasian Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I'm 25 years old, male, and a virgin. I'm above-average looking, and have had a serious girlfriend, but I've never had sex. (My last girlfriend had some serious sexual hangups, due to her conservative upbringing as well as past abuse.) This is obviously unusual for a guy of my age, especially when the guy is attractive, socially normal, and has no religious objections to sex. My question: is this a huge disadvantage, or can I play it as a strong point? What types of women react positively to mid-20s virgins, and what types react negatively? 25 is not too old to be a virgin. Are you waiting for the right person? If so, I congratulate you on having the discipline to hold out. It would probably be a disadvantage for most women, but on the bright side - women will know you're clean. Good luck
BklynGuy Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 You should always BOTH get tested before having unprotected sex. You can be clean after having several partners...but you have to appreciate the experience you will have with each person.
AMB3R Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 OK, HERE IS ANOTHER "FEMALE" POINT OF VIEW. iM NOT SURE WHY, BUT I FIND THIS WHOLE, "STILL A VIRGIN" THING KINDA HOT!!!! I DONT THINK THAT ALL WOMEN SEE THIS AS A TURN OFF, AS MENTIONED IN OTHER POSTS. THERE ARE ALOT OF THINGS THAT PLAY INTO THIS BEING HOT, FIRST OF ALL, WHY ARE YOU A VIRGIN? I KNOW THAT YOU MENTIONED YOUR EX NOT WANTING TO GET DOWN, BUT WHAT ABOUT BEFORE HER? ARE YOU A SHY GUY? I BET IF YOU FIND A COOL OUTGOING GIRL THAT IS SECURE WITH HERSELF, AND YOU MENTION THIS TO HER, SHE WILL DEFINATELY DO YOU! THIS MAY BE THE EASIEST WAY YET TO GET A GUY LAID.
lovestruck818 Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Reply to the 41 yr old. Having sex is actually good for the health. And it feels sooooo good. If you do it with a healthy woman, even if you are not in love just for the fun of it. And you both agree in doing that, there is no reason why you shouldn't try it. I think you might be losing something good there. And no, there's nothing bad in being a virgin, but it's as if you'd not be like, trying fruit. I mean, nobody says if you don't eat fruit you won't be living right? But it is healthy, natural and sweet. And if you haven't tried fruit at 40. Then well, you are losing an excellent flavor, you just don't know because you haven't tried it yet. but why lose it to the wrong person? I regret having sex with the people I did b/c they are no longer in my life now due to the relationship ending and in some respects I wish I had waited and not given it up to them.
fromlonelytogreat Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I'm proudly holding onto my virginity until I find a really special girl that I feel is worthy of losing it to. I don't care that I will be hopeless, I just want my first full experience to be with someone I care dearly about.
BklynGuy Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 Please buddy, once you realize the joy sex can be, you'll want it all the time. Don't wait to lose it to someone special...you're not a girl. It was wierd for me the first time, but I grew to love the feeling, then learned about how you can enhance it. Get laid, that's an order.
BklynGuy Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I'm not saying that one should sleep with just anyone. I am simply giving my opinion, and when an individual posts on this site requesting advice, it becomes anyone's business. When I lost mine, I didn't feel like it was this memorable moment that I will cherish for the rest of my life. You are correct, there's a lot more to life than your penis. But again, once you truly enjoy a sexual experience, you may just want it all the time...and you don't know what you're missing until you've experienced it.
technicolor Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I don't think it's a disadvantage. I know if I was dating a guy who was a virgin, I'd definitely wonder why but it wouldn't stop me from seeing the guy.
Gato Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 i think it's a plus. i'd like to know that my bf isn't a man-whore and doesn't have sex bc he thinks every girl is 'special'
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 I personally find it very admirable and respectable. No woman would be turned off at the thought of a virgin unless you come across as one of those stereotypical dweeby guys that sits in your mommas bedroom eating waffles all day - which you say you DON'T. I would say many woman would be drawn to this kind of purity and innocence. There's too many bad boys, playas, studds, STI ridden promiscuous club boys - you're a breath of fresh air
Green Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I didn’t think many girls would be so welcoming of us Virgins, because I know if the roles are reversed a lot of men would be put off by the prospect of a virgin. they don't really care if a guy is a virgin... its just that virgin guys in my mind would probably be less confident around women and I can't dispute that women respond to confidence
LittleDove Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 I want to know why wait so long??? I couldnt wait to loose mine, and did it at 15. Not saying thats great, but it suited me... Loosing it isnt that bigger deal. Id think that by now, the nerves would be almost too great to deal with doing it...anxiety ...eeeek. 41 year old virgin...I recently met a guy whos 39 and a virgin. Hes in no hurry to 'do it' either...? wtf?? did you not SEE the movie??? sex is just sex, I think people can make too bigger deal out of it. Making love is different...emotional and deep, and inimate and a real sharing of spirits... but sex is just 2 bodies banging together for a mutually satisfiying end result. Just do it. Everyone...JUST DO IT. Sex is fabulous sex is fun!!! when you DO IT you will wonder why you waited so long.
trex Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 In my opinion, this is a big hurdle. If I were you, I would try to avoid the subject if you are with a potential mate. I think you should analyze your situation further. If you haven't lost your virginity by now, there has to be some sort of cause.
fishtaco Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 It's hard to say. Even for women who are virgins, some guys are into it, some guys are not. Same deal here. I agree with the poster that said some women find it hot, some will run away, and others won't care either way. But if you let them know up front, you'll lose the "run away" crowd, while earning points with the "that's hot" crowd. Either way if you play your cards right, you'll do fine. So really the difference we're talking about are percentages. Is the loss of the "run away" crowd worth the scoriness of the "that's hot" crowd? I'm not a virgin, and haven't been for a long time, so I can't tell you which one is more prevalent. One advice I have you is if you do let them know you're a virgin, make sure you explain why. You do have relationship experience, and you respected your ex's conservative wishes. That should take the creepiness out of it and earn points with almost all women. Although with the run away crowd, the points you regain may or may not worth the points you lose by professing your virginity. I guess my approach would be this: Don't let them know up front. Just don't mention it. Like the other poster said, answer in broad terms, or just say you're not comfortable talking about it yet, maybe when you get closer or something to that effect. But after a few dates, and you've determined that this girl has pretty conservative views about sex, then you can lay this on her for possibly massive bonus points, although at this point you probably don't want to find another one that's like your ex. It's case by case basis. All women are different, you should have multiple approaches handy anyway. And I lol'ed at the poster that mentioned cougars. You would be the perfect cougar dessert. Hang out at cougar bars. Once they find out you're a 25 year old virgin, you'll be able to line them up and pick which ever one you want. You'd probably be a hit with technical virgins as well. You won't get vaginal intercourse with them, but you'll get everything else, yes that other place too.
Green Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Pay an escort for sex? Thats a horible idea and it won't give him as much satisfaction as getting it through a relationship
Humbleman Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Why is it a horrible idea? If he can't get laid, then it's a cheaper alternative in the long run and if a man doesn't get satisfication through sex, then he must be depressed.
fishtaco Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I think it's more of an issue that he hasn't had the opportunity to try, not that he can't do it. He was in a sexless relationship. And being the good guy, he didn't cheat and stuck to it till the end. Now he's open to explore, and he's asking for advice. Now if he kept trying and kept failing, for a long time, ok. Pay for it and get it over with. But I don't think that's the case.
Humbleman Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Sex is sex, regardless if it is in a relationship or paid for.
fishtaco Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I agree, but it's better to develop a skill for it. Get some successes first. That's a confidence builder. Once he knows his stuff, then he can pay for sex if he chooses to. As far as paying for sex this once just to "get it over with". I don't think his virginity is detriment enough to his game that would warrant paying to get rid of it. Honestly just show up at a cougar bar and that'd be a done deal. He'll probably even get free drinks. I think he'll do fine. It's really not that difficult to do. In fact, I'd say the work that he has to do in order to make enough money for the escort is probably more difficult (and less fun) than the work he has to do to hook up with a girl. For someone older that may not be the case, $200 for someone that's 45 with a stable career is not the same as $200 to a kid that just got out of college. And $200 is probably just a happy ending at a "massage" place. I have no idea how much an escort would cost.
luverly Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 You would definitely make a good trophy for a cougar. I have a friend who's around your age also a virgin. He's had awful problems with meeting/dating women, not because of his virginity but because of his self-esteem. But now he's got a gf, not sure if he's told her yet about it yet... If a girl truly likes you, I don't see why she would care. LOL... you are so right! I just turned 30 and I would be alllllll over it. Wait does 30 count as a Cougar?
Ross PK Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Hurdle. I think only a very small percentage of women would actually find it attractive or a turn on that a guy in his mid 20's or over is still a virgin. The rest would find it a turn off as it's classed as quite strange. advantage or hurdle? First word that comes to my mind is attractive! Even if they were in their early 30's?
Green Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Hurdle. I think only a very small percentage of women would actually find it attractive or a turn on that a guy in his mid 20's or over is still a virgin. The rest would find it a turn off as it's classed as quite strange. Even if they were in their early 30's? Ross PK you remind me of a poster who used to post here good observations
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