OpenBook Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 If you do your thing like you know you're hot, you are hot. Truer words have never been spoken. Well said Ruby!!
Jersey Shortie Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I do understand all that Ruby. But hearing the comments men make about women's bodies, and the idealized forms men love, my own perceptions of what I think I should look like to be beautiful, doesn't make it as easy to put into practice. I have responsiblity in that, no doubt. I still get naked infront of my guy, I don't request he have the lights off altough I perfer the low lights, but it doesn't mean I don't have those fears and concerns. Women are judged for their bodies. I was more confident when I was younger and more navie to what men liked. I am more confident being naked when I am by myself then when I have to be naked infront of a guy. And maybe some men really don't care and just want to see any naked women. But I am sure alot of men do care and do judge and don't always judge kindly. Especially after reading some of the male comments around here.
Tony T Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Fat affects EVERY relationship unless both are obese. Even then it's doubtful the two could be passionate about each other. Fat is not pretty although people who are obese try to convince themselves it is. Often, it's VERY difficult to keep a decent weight and I empathize with that. However, if people want to have a very successful love life, being on the average or thin side is definitely a positive and worth the effort. I think a lot of people stay fat because they fear intimate relationships. Others do so because they like good food. Fat simply is a definite barrier to achieving a happy and satisfying relationship, certainly in finding one, and it's worth everybody losing the weight. Now, if everybody gets overweight, it could be that the world stops reproducing and we all disappear. FAT IS UGLY! Everytime I write that on her I piss a lot of people off but it's really the truth. And medical research has clearly shown that fat, OK...politically correct - morbidly obsese- people live much shorter lives and far less satisfying ones.
Stockalone Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I think being overweight will limit the options you have but I do not believe that it affects the relationship that much once you are in one. At least that is how it was for me in the past. It might be different if you didn't start out overweight and gained a lot of weight while being in the relationship. But I am sure a lot of it depends on how you view yourself. When I was overweight (but not fat), my weight didn't bother me and thus did not affect me in a negative way. I was never the lean type with a sixpack, nor did I ever try to be. So if a woman preferred her man to be lean, I just wasn't the right guy. Now that I am fat, it does bother me from time to time, especially lately. But it's not the weight that bothers me, rather the fact that I might miss out on a great opportunity just because I didn't stay in a decent shape (albeit overweight).
Pyro Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I'm not overweight. I think it does affect relationships in a negative way. I can't think of anything positive or beneficial to relationships if one or both people are overweight. Sad but true, A good friend of mine just ended a four year relationship. There was no trust on the girls behalf and she was unmotivated about everything. She had put on an extra 100 pounds in three years and it made her depressed and insecure. My GF tried to get her to exercise with her and she did one time but never showed any interest in doing it again.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 FAT IS UGLY! Everytime I write that on her I piss a lot of people off but it's really the truth. And medical research has clearly shown that fat, OK...politically correct - morbidly obsese- people live much shorter lives and far less satisfying ones. I'll bite. Most aren't talking about being obese within this thread, only having a few extra pounds. I do agree that obesity isn't attractive, no matter how much you want to fool yourself into believing otherwise. When I say obesity, it's with the view towards rolls and rolls of fat. Fat does kill. While there are people who do have diseases which can cause obesity, most have done this to themselves. So why the unhealthy or excessive lifestyle?
fral945 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Sad but true, A good friend of mine just ended a four year relationship. There was no trust on the girls behalf and she was unmotivated about everything. She had put on an extra 100 pounds in three years and it made her depressed and insecure. My GF tried to get her to exercise with her and she did one time but never showed any interest in doing it again. You're right. Being overweight can affect sleep, sex life, work life, relationships, etc. all in a negative way. I don't think everyone who is overweight is unhealthy, but almost every unhealthy person I know is overweight. And I don't think that's a coincidence.
stoopid_guy Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 FAT IS UGLY! Everytime I write that on her I piss a lot of people off but it's really the truth. And medical research has clearly shown that fat, OK...politically correct - morbidly obsese- people live much shorter lives and far less satisfying ones. To you, fat is ugly. You're entitled to your opinion. However, if you think everyone agrees with that, you're delusional. That's not exactly an attractive characteristic either.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 FAT IS UGLY! Everytime I write that on her I piss a lot of people off but it's really the truth. And medical research has clearly shown that fat, OK...politically correct - morbidly obsese- people live much shorter lives and far less satisfying ones. Actually, if you really knew anything about medical research you would know that someone who is fat isn't necessiarly unhealthy and someone that is thin isn't necessairly healthy either. Some people are overweight and unhealthy, but so are some thin people. It sometimes really does depends on your body type. Now if your like 300 pounds..yeah that's unhealthy..but not everyone is meant to be a stick figure.
Vertex Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 If a woman has a solid personality, I honestly could not care less about extra weight. It happens. I think the human body is a beautiful thing... a few people I've been with have been very self-conscious about their body/weight, but I so enjoy the looks of relief that slowly start to make their advent when you make it obvious that you simply do not care about their perceived flaws Extra weight isn't a big deal, but obesity, to me, is a little different. It usually highly correlates with health conditions and it tends to be indicative of a very inactive lifestyle. I find I don't click well with such types who just want to sit around all day. Believe me -- I actually tried going out with a girl back in high school who was quite overweight -- at least 100 pounds above where she probably should have been. I enjoyed her personality, but I just found that the lifestyle choices were simply too different. I haven't been with too many people in my life, but I've been with skinny people as well as those with a few extra pounds. I wouldn't say one type was any less beautiful than the other. The personality really helps as well. A confident woman who is a little bit overweight and has a very loving/caring/fun personality is infinitely more preferable to me than an extremely sexy, skinny woman who may have a bit of a snag.
hotcrossbuns Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I am sympathetic to weight changes and fluctuations. I believe most of us will go through them at some point in our lives. This is especially true if there are factors such as health or personal issues going on. Having said that, I must be honest about something. This will probably make people angry, but my boyfriend is overweight and I am quite turned off. He has a large beer gut and it makes sex awkward and difficult. He is also out of shape, which hurts his ability to perform. I also think that it's more than just pure aesthetics. Sometimes it's a mental. When the person you're with doesn't take care of themselves or has a lazy attitude, it can hurt the way you perceive them. A lot of what makes someone physically attractive to me is their personality, and if their size is a result of a change in personality or attitude, that can affect the way I feel about them.
KinAZ Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I am sympathetic to weight changes and fluctuations. I believe most of us will go through them at some point in our lives. This is especially true if there are factors such as health or personal issues going on. Having said that, I must be honest about something. This will probably make people angry, but my boyfriend is overweight and I am quite turned off. He has a large beer gut and it makes sex awkward and difficult. He is also out of shape, which hurts his ability to perform. I also think that it's more than just pure aesthetics. Sometimes it's a mental. When the person you're with doesn't take care of themselves or has a lazy attitude, it can hurt the way you perceive them. A lot of what makes someone physically attractive to me is their personality, and if their size is a result of a change in personality or attitude, that can affect the way I feel about them. I don't want to sound insensitive or mean or anything at all, but that is one of the reasons I've never gone out with a larger guy. In theory, in my mind, those things would be a problem. I thought myself very shallow for feeling that way, but I just can't help it. And then I saw Borat. When I've heard jokes about people not being able to see their ... manhood... for the fat in the way, I thought it was just an exaggeration. I don't know, maybe I'm just dumb or something. But yeah... With that said, in my opinion, I could stand to lose a few pounds. I'm not obese, and the extra weight on me luckily went to all the right places for the most part. So I think that extra weight depends on how you carry it. A guy can have a few extra pounds, but if he's got a few extra pounds and he's soft... then that's a different matter entirely. My weight has come up negatively in a relationship once, and that was directly after childbirth. It wasn't a "so when are you gonna drop the baby fat" but rather a "you used to look like that" sort of comment while watching a music video. I told him if he wanted a B* like that to go find one. That shut him up... When one's weight can cause insecurities, of course it can cause relationship problems as well as difficulties in the dating world. If you don't like you, why would expect anyone else to? Accept the things you can't change, fix the things you can, and just be happy...
paddington bear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I was told recently by someone I hadn't seen in ages 'wow, look at you, you used to be a big, huge fat girl, but now you look great'. Well gee, thanks! Ok I knew I'd put on some pounds, but didn't realise I was 'fat' it was a bit of a revelation as to what people thought of me but hadn't said. Now I'm a UK size 14 and everyone who I haven't seen in months tells me I look 'great' - most people wouldn't dare say 'you look great now that you're not fat any more', it's that unspoken F word. It definitely does affect people's opinion of the attractiveness of the opposite sex. I don't know if it's because I'm thinner now or because I feel more attractive but the interest from menfolk has certainly increased since I've dropped a couple of dress sizes, however, I guess in my head I still see myself as fat, when I'm now more just curvy and am always surprised if some guy hits on me. It's all in the mind really. I find by the time I get naked with someone I don't much care any more, it's too late by then so they might as well see the whole kitten kaboodle, no hiding under the covers for me. The problem is the time before you get naked where I definitely worry about what a man might think of me, are they comparing me with someone else and so on - alcohol usually helps with getting over that! But really, I've lost count of the times guys have said that they 'like something to hold on to', however I think there's a difference between carrying a few extra pounds and being clinically obese, 'fat' is such a subjective term.
vonerik012 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Most American women are overweight, so that is what us men have to pick from. I do not feel a man's weight is really an issue, especially if he has a good job, cash, a nice car, etc.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Most American women are overweight, so that is what us men have to pick from. I do not feel a man's weight is really an issue, especially if he has a good job, cash, a nice car, etc. Wanna' bet? Obesity knows no gender boundaries.
Tomcat33 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I do not feel a man's weight is really an issue, especially if he has a good job, cash, a nice car, etc. Do you date men? Keep telling yourself that otherwise... I met an investment banker online took me out to a super hot spot for dinner drove a Beamer. He had a really good looking face gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful smile great dark messy hair nice arms etc, but when I met him I realised he had a gut, not just a little pudgy one a GUT. I never saw him again, he was very persistent very into me and insisted on seeing me again, I lost complete interest after I saw his gut. He said he was trying to lose weight but he also said he drank 4-5 times a week. On our date alone he had 5 huge pint beers in the time span of two hours. Women care, trust me.
paddington bear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 5 large beers? Try living in Ireland...9 - 10 pints being an average and also something to be proud of and yes, beer guts abound - and not just on the men lol!
vonerik012 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I don't know much about your online dates, but I have eyes. I live in a very affluent area, and regularly see beautiful women with overweight men. The men just happen to be driving Mercedes 600's, Range Rovers, or Bentleys.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Do you date men? Keep telling yourself that otherwise... I met an investment banker online took me out to a super hot spot for dinner drove a Beamer. He had a really good looking face gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful smile great dark messy hair nice arms etc, but when I met him I realised he had a gut, not just a little pudgy one a GUT. I never saw him again, he was very persistent very into me and insisted on seeing me again, I lost complete interest after I saw his gut. He said he was trying to lose weight but he also said he drank 4-5 times a week. On our date alone he had 5 huge pint beers in the time span of two hours. Women care, trust me. The only way for vonerik to know that, is if he's wealthy, obese, drives a great car and has found a few gold diggers.
Tomcat33 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 5 large beers? Try living in Ireland...9 - 10 pints being an average and also something to be proud of and yes, beer guts abound - and not just on the men lol! That's fine here too people drink a lot but if you meet a guy with a big gut who tells you "oh by the way I am working on losing weight" then he downs 5 huge bucket sized beers in 2hrs and insists he drink 4-5 times a week he's full of shiiit he is no trying to lose weight he thinks he can trick someone into thinking he is. The only way for vonerik to know that, is if he's wealthy, obese, drives a great car and has found a few gold diggers. Good point TBF!! Didn't think of that.
Tomcat33 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 II don't much care any more, it's too late by then so they might as well see the whole kitten kaboodle, no hiding under the covers for me. . Sorry I couldn't resist, I think it's kit and kaboodle. :lmao: But kitten works for me. Meow! I am notorious for this type of thing one time I said refering to a bit shot millionaire he is an "oil typhoon" :lmao:
vonerik012 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 The only way for vonerik to know that, is if he's wealthy, obese, drives a great car and has found a few gold diggers. Yes, that or I have eyes.. And PLEASE do not kid yourself. If a regular Joe is overweight, then he is just fat. If a man with the same exact body happens to be CEO of the company, then he is charming, intelligent, handsome and a dream catch. Fat is overlooked instantly. And no, I have never been overweight in my life.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Yes, that or I have eyes.. And PLEASE do not kid yourself. If a regular Joe is overweight, then he is just fat. If a man with the same exact body happens to be CEO of the company, then he is charming, intelligent, handsome and a dream catch. Fat is overlooked instantly. And no, I have never been overweight in my life. People gain weight over time and there's no doubt there are gold diggers, be they male or female. Having said that, there are men and women who are attractive with a bigger build. It doesn't make them obese, with rolls and rolls of fat. You take a snapshot look in time, then draw most often, inaccurate conclusions about genders.
Tomcat33 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 If a regular Joe is overweight, then he is just fat. If a man with the same exact body happens to be CEO of the company, then he is charming, intelligent, handsome and a dream catch. Fat is overlooked instantly. No way he's still fat. The only one that would see beyond it and into the material stuff is a gold digger. A gold digger will settle for a fatty with money because while he is off making millions clogging up his arteries with stress and decadent food she sits back in luxery and waits for him to kick the bucket and more than likely has a hot fit thing on the side, to make it all better.
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