Jono Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Just wondering if anyone had any advice about my situation, I'm not sure what to do. So I've broken up with my ex for about a month. We went out for about a year. The break up was messy, didn't end well, and she ended up with another guy a few days after we broke up. Needless to say, it hurt me alot and I'm angry with her, haven't spoken to her for a couple weeks, doin the NC thing. The thing is she is an Irish girl, and after we broke up she has decided to head home to her family. What it means is that I may never see her again. So she leaves this thursday, heading out of my life for good, which may actually be a good thing, forcing me to get over her quickly. The thing that I'm struggling with, is do I say goodbye to her one last time, knowing it will probably be the last time I'll ever see her. I know she did me wrong and she doesn't really deserve me to see her off or anything, but a part of me wants to make my final peace with her. You know, say goodbye for good. It just seems the right thing to do. So should I do it? Anyone think it's a good idea? I'd love some advice here, if you have an opinion on it. Thanks in advance if you get the chance, Jon.
Meaplus3 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Just wondering if anyone had any advice about my situation, I'm not sure what to do. So I've broken up with my ex for about a month. We went out for about a year. The break up was messy, didn't end well, and she ended up with another guy a few days after we broke up. Needless to say, it hurt me alot and I'm angry with her, haven't spoken to her for a couple weeks, doin the NC thing. The thing is she is an Irish girl, and after we broke up she has decided to head home to her family. What it means is that I may never see her again. So she leaves this thursday, heading out of my life for good, which may actually be a good thing, forcing me to get over her quickly. The thing that I'm struggling with, is do I say goodbye to her one last time, knowing it will probably be the last time I'll ever see her. I know she did me wrong and she doesn't really deserve me to see her off or anything, but a part of me wants to make my final peace with her. You know, say goodbye for good. It just seems the right thing to do. So should I do it? Anyone think it's a good idea? I'd love some advice here, if you have an opinion on it. Thanks in advance if you get the chance, Jon. If saying good bye to her one final time will give you closure.. then I say go for it. If you feel it will makes things worse in terms of moving on.. then let it be. The choice is yours. Good luck. AP:)
chacha7 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 i am in this same dilemma, but I think it would only make things worse in terms of getting over it and more confusing. stay NC with me!
d2darow Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 wow same issue. Broke up a month ago. Was with her for a year plus. Was considering saying goodbye. but im with chacha on this one. NC it is
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Jono, will you have regrets if you don't say goodbye? Also, are you looking for finality or an opportunity to reopen communications, regardless of her moving away? Best to know why you want to take this action first.
nowhereman82 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Saying goodbye will open the pain. She knows by you going NC you have said your goodbye. Actions speak louder than words my friend. Write you closure down on paper if you must. Burn it once you're done
nopainnogain Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Honestly, I vote to stay n/c. She burned you bro. She is history. You wont get anything good out of saying "goodbye".
citizen67 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I don't see that there is anything wrong with saying goodbye - especially since she is leaving the country and will be far far away making NC that much easier. Boy am I jealous, I wish my ex would leave the country . . .
Author Jono Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 Jono, will you have regrets if you don't say goodbye? Also, are you looking for finality or an opportunity to reopen communications, regardless of her moving away? Best to know why you want to take this action first. Yeah I think I will regret not saying goodbye, but I'm afraid it will reopen all the old wounds and stuff. I know I'll probably say something out of anger or bitterness, something that'll make saying goodbye awkward. I'm just struggling with the concept that you give a year of your life to someone, they break your heart and then you never see them again, basically for the rest of your life. It just seems crazy, if you know what I mean. It'll hurt like hell to see her again, cuz she just has to smile at me and I'll crack. But at the same time, I hate the idea that I'll never ever see the girl again in this life. It's a tough one... my head says NC, my heart says say goodbye. But it's my heart that got me into this mess in the first place, so I don't know.
sid3 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I agree with the other poster who said she knows you said goodbye through the n/c.......listen to your head. you already know it was your heart that got you into trouble. If you think one year is bad, just imagine 8 or nine years and then never seeing them again, makes one year seem not so bad eh? don't cause yourself more pain if you can help it. Dig deep, you will find the will power for the n/c if you look hard enough........good luck
blackandblue Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 No, it's not a good idea. She said goodbye by sleeping with another guy, you should say goodbye and so long by deleting her number. (You could say it while you do it, if this helps). From my own situation, if I were to see my ex one last time to say goodbye, she would manipulate everything to her own will and I would come away feeling like sh*t.
Author Jono Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 You're right I shouldn't. I had a bit of an epiphany tonight. She doesn't deserve any kindness, she doesn't care about me. So why should I care about her? It's just coming to terms with it, dealing with the fact I was with the wrong woman for so long. It's kind of like I'm admitting to myself that I made a big mistake. That I gave her too much credit. She's a maneater, I can see it now. **** it, no goodbye, she's done. Thanks for the advice guys, I apreciate, I needed to hear it. Cheers, Jon.
Recommended Posts