jerbear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Haha...always positive cash flow for the successful entrepreneur! Hang on, positive cash flow and entrepreneur are conflicting terms! Thanks. That's what I want. A lover and a best friend. Yes. Canadian humour leans towards a mix of British irony/sarcasm and a broader American humour. It's of course, individual reliant. Positive cash flow is a good thing, now free cash flow maybe another. Anyway, I think Canadian women have alot to offer based on the ones I've met in person. I would relocate to Canada but it all depends on me calling and visiting. I think I have alot to offer but then again this is the "Women: What do you offer" thread.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 I asked the question because we seem to spend alot of time thinking about what the opposite sex has to offer *us*, compared to thinking about what *we* have to offer the opposites sex. I think both are important to think about. Its just there, probably not going anywhere, so why bother? Well if it does bother you, then your not secure enough to trust that guy. See its just visual stimulation, which in turn, if he comes home turned on from seeing naked women at a strip club or is turned on by seeing another woman having sex in a porno vid, then knowing that he comes to you to have the sex, thats important, its bad when he decides he can release the tension with that stripper, some other girl, or by himself, thats when you need to worry, cause then maybe he doesn't need you anymore for sexual fun, which is a red flag in any relationship/marriage. Perhaps men are not secure enough to enjoy their sexuality and masculinity without the aid of hyper-sexualized easy resources like porn and strippers. The whole argument of "you're not secure enough to trust that guy/girl if they do x,y,z" is really a shaming tactic to shame whoever into agreeing with your perception of life. If people don't think porn and strippers shouldn't cause some questions, I don't think we are being realistic about the nature of men and the nature of porn and strippers and how men react and use them. I personally don't want to be the tool he uses to release with after being entertained by other women. Call it insecure or call it having a little more pride in myself knowing I deserve better then that. I digress on this for now. None of you have listed sex as a quality. Why is that? The only one who mentions sex was Paddington Bear and only as an angst against men and what they want. Do none of us enjoy sex with partners? Are we too afraid to mention pleasing our partners as something we offer? Or is this taboo to say in today's age? I hardly think it's taboo to say you offer sex in this day and age. Or that we are afraid to say we enjoy sex and offer good sex. I think most women want to be seen as more then sex. The girl in the porno also offers sex on some base level. I think it's a little arrogant to assume that because sex wasn't balantely repersented, that somehow means we don't enjoy sex with our partners or sharing that deeper bond. I think most women do. I didn't list it directly but such qualities as my playfulness, loyalty, and liking to make him happy relate to sex just as much as they relate to letting him have his space or enjoying football together. The qualities I have, extend to different areas. I consider sex a deeply important part of the relationship. But I know that by default of having a vagina alone, and offereing bad or great sex, isn't enough to make a man stick around for more serious adventours.
Shygirl15 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I offer my hubby good lovin, good cooking, good conversation, love to watch sports, confidante, advisor and I offer him peace. Your hubby may not feel the same way, you know... Okay, okay, before you get mad, what I'm trying to say here is that it's so easy to come up with all these wonderful qualities we 'think' we possess but the reality may be different. I also have tons and tons of good qualities I "think" I possess, but do I? I think people who knows us well are better placed to judge what kind of persons we are, rather than ourselves. Personal opinion.
refurb Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Good luck with that! Take care. Things Trialbyfire does not offer: sense of humor. RF
jerbear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Things Trialbyfire does not offer: sense of humor. RF I disagree on this one. I think her version of humor is burning you through fire!
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I disagree on this one. I think her version of humor is burning you through fire! Glad to see someone getting it!
stillafool Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Your hubby may not feel the same way, you know... Okay, okay, before you get mad, what I'm trying to say here is that it's so easy to come up with all these wonderful qualities we 'think' we possess but the reality may be different. I also have tons and tons of good qualities I "think" I possess, but do I? I think people who knows us well are better placed to judge what kind of persons we are, rather than ourselves. Personal opinion. Hey I get what you are saying that's why I asked him first and he gave me the answers to type. I realize that a person may think they are making another one happy but it is really up to the other person who knows for sure. Does that make any sense? It didn't as I was typing it. Oh well.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Hey I get what you are saying that's why I asked him first and he gave me the answers to type. I realize that a person may think they are making another one happy but it is really up to the other person who knows for sure. Does that make any sense? It didn't as I was typing it. Oh well. This is also subjective. What one person views as a positive trait, another might view as a shallow trait. For example, when saying you can provide love, how deeply does the other person require the emotion? Humour is also another trait of a subjective nature, as illustrated in this thread.
Dharmaa Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I agree with this. Things seem to be backwards these days, at least in the USA. I don't see how it relates to the 50's, as i don't think women used sex as a weapon back then, and were more or less submissive than today. It certainly is nothing like the 50's. In the 50's sex was the REASON for marriage for respectable people. My mom and dad were engaged and married within six months of meeting. Not because it was a match made in heaven, but because DAD wanted in MOMS pants and he wasnt gona get there without a ring. Just quoting my dad ........... On the other hand, I met my ex on a sex site (I am certainly NOTHING like my mother!) and even though the sex was hot and was enough in the beginning, eventually it wasnt enough to keep my respect and affection. He never changed an I realized there were no "layers" to be discovered ........ Please exscuse me - I need to go edit my avatar pic in case my dad reads this .
OpenBook Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 The thread, I think, was attempting to determine the value of our contribution (as a gender) toward a relationship. i.e. What do women in general offer to a relationship OTHER then domestic servant and receptical for sperm. I believe that these two things are the exact reasons why most men get married. That is all they are interested in - somebody to make sure they are always surrounded by material comforts, and easily accessible sex whenever they want it. He could care less if his W had other qualities such as intelligence, sense of humor, etc. Doesn't matter - as long as he's taken care of. That's what he thinks he's signing up for when he says "I do."
djhall Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I believe that these two things are the exact reasons why most men get married. That is all they are interested in - somebody to make sure they are always surrounded by material comforts, and easily accessible sex whenever they want it. He could care less if his W had other qualities such as intelligence, sense of humor, etc. Doesn't matter - as long as he's taken care of. That's what he thinks he's signing up for when he says "I do." Ooooohhhhh, yikes! Every male instinct in my body is screaming to run, run fast, and run far from THAT comment! But I just can't help myself.... Being realistic, yes I think those are two major reasons why men get married. If a man going to give up the freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants in his free time, and do it with whoever is willing to do it with him when he can, he is going to want to get something valuable to him in return. The areas that typically become issues for single men after awhile are their aversion to domestic chores (cooking, shopping, cleaning), the amount of time, effort, and money that goes into convincing women to have sex with them, and the general desire for comfortable and easy female companionship. If he gets married, he figures he can come home, have a good cooked meal in a nice clean environment, then watch TV or hang with his buddies for the everning, and head to bed to have wild and kinky sex with a woman who isn't afraid to let loose and be a totally degenerate freak in the bedroom because she's married and doesn't have to worry about a man thinking she is a slut or not respecting her the next day. When the honeymoon phase wears off and the reality of marriage sets in, things look terribly different. Sure, she spent the day cooking and cleaning so he could come home to a nice clean house and a great meal, but now she wants him to spend time with her instead if hanging out with his buddies or watching TV... but if he wanted to give up watching TV and hanging with his buddies to have a clean house and a cooked meal, he would have cleaned the house and cooked meals himself when he was single. When later that evening he wants to have raunchy sex, she is either pissed at his thoughtlessness and isn't interested or she wants to talk about their relationship, their needs and feelings, then engage in romantic foreplay with verbal reassurances about how special she is, make love instead of getting freaky, and then cuddle afterward while he whispers more reassurances of how great and special she is. Again, if he wanted to go through all that trouble just to get laid, he could have stuck with girlfriends and booty calls and had variety too. By now, the easy and comfortable female companionship is gone because just like the women he used to date, the wife always wants him to talk about "us" and their relationship, wants him to do things with her, wants him to do her list of honey-do's, and wants him to change into her partner or mate, instead of just wanting to hang out with him the way he is and enjoying him being him. From that perspective, I suppose it would be very hard to appreciate a lot of the other things women are listing that they bring to the table. I'm not saying it is right, and I may be selling a lot of men short here, but I think a lot of men appreciate those other qualities only when they are secondary to the domestic servant and always willing sex partner.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 I believe under that post DJhall, lies the heart of a warm fuzzy teddy bearing yearning for a good woman who can do more then spread her legs and cook.
djhall Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I believe under that post DJhall, lies the heart of a warm fuzzy teddy bearing yearning for a good woman who can do more then spread her legs and cook. Well, I tend to think about "men in general" with a lot of skepticism. I have a really hard time being friends with most men in general because most of them seem to be a little too much like the bad male stereotypes, and the ones I know that really are good men seem to struggle with a lot of the same issues anyway. My best friend is a really great guy, but the "why do I come home from work every day and have to give the kids a bath and run the laundry, and pick up the house, and get the kids to bed while she sits on the couch drinking wine and watching TV" is a real sticking point for him and pisses him off. Not that all he wans is a domestic servant, but I see the way those basic issues create problems even in someone who is not trying to be "that guy".
Walk Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Walk: Agreed on all counts. I also think you'd be one of the best catches on this site You're extremely intelligent and it's clear you're very empathetic, caring, funny, and witty. I don't know who you're with, but he's a lucky man! You totally made my night! Thanks.
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