Taramere Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I know so many fantastic single female friends and just can't understand why they haven't been snapped up. They have so much to offer and no one is in the least bit interested in their 'qualities' which is a real shame. I understand that. When I was a little kid, there were several ladies my mother would regularly have coffee with. She was the only married one. I was always dragged along to these things while my brother got to do fun outdoorsy things with my dad. These ladies were all terribly nice. "Undiscovered treasures" my mother called them. Living alone had resulted in them possibly being excessively dainty and feminine in their habits and manners. To a degree that could be difficult for a lot of men to live with. And I honestly can't imagine how any of those ladies would have coped with suddenly having a proudly flatulent male thundering around their pristine homes, arguing noisily with football commentators on the tv, demanding blow jobs and snoring into their ears throughout the night. I think they might have fainted from fright. Women always talk of wanting masculine men, and men love to talk of the glories of feminine women....but it's debatable whether very masculine men and very feminine women were ever designed to actually set up home successfully together. Not that I'm comparing those ladies of yesteryear with modern single women. I think there are huge differences....but all the same, when I think of my most feminine friends - they're the ones who have the biggest difficulty relationship-wise.
paddington bear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 And I honestly can't imagine how any of those ladies would have coped with suddenly having a proudly flatulent male thundering around their pristine homes, arguing noisily with football commentators on the tv, demanding blow jobs and snoring into their ears throughout the night. I think they might have fainted from fright. Not that I'm comparing those ladies of yesteryear with modern single women. I think there are huge differences....but all the same, when I think of my most feminine friends - they're the ones who have the biggest difficulty relationship-wise. Lol!!! You certainly know how to paint a picture! Come to think of it my single friends are either very feminine girls or take charge types which guys are scared of. I'm not sure what the hell I am, think I'm the she's really good fun and makes me laugh girl which fosters a good bond, but no 'my god I'm so hot for you' feelings. (still laughing at: proudly flatulent male thundering around their pristine homes, arguing noisily with football commentators on the tv, demanding blow jobs and snoring into their ears throughout the night) :lmao:
Taramere Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Lol!!! You certainly know how to paint a picture! Come to think of it my single friends are either very feminine girls or take charge types which guys are scared of. I'm not sure what the hell I am, think I'm the she's really good fun and makes me laugh girl which fosters a good bond, but no 'my god I'm so hot for you' feelings. (still laughing at: proudly flatulent male thundering around their pristine homes, arguing noisily with football commentators on the tv, demanding blow jobs and snoring into their ears throughout the night) :lmao: Haha. Do you, by any chance, have an older brother? I do, and I think the teasing I took from him as a child left me feeling very much like a platonic (as opposed to an attractive) friend for the opposite sex. Not a sexy or romantic woman. Men often treat me like a little sister, and I've noticed that friends of mine who don't have brothers seem to find it much easier to idealise/be idealised by men.
paddington bear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I've no brothers and no dad...but was bullied very badly by boys in primary school (and scuttled off to an all girls school after that). They say little girls learn how to flirt from their fathers and those without have problems in later life relating to men, which if it is the case I'm trying hard to get outside of that handy little psychological checkbox. Interesting point though, the being idealised/idealising men. Never thought about it that way. I've always tried to 'get' men, as in understand them, as they were an unknown entity (think I've pretty much 'got it' now). I've never idealised and maybe that is a prerequisite in male female relationships and one of the 'qualities' that we should offer. My new chat up line: 'Hey there, I am perfectly capable of idealising you' ...ok maybe not!
marlena Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 And I honestly can't imagine how any of those ladies would have coped with suddenly having a proudly flatulent male thundering around their pristine homes, arguing noisily with football commentators on the tv, demanding blow jobs and snoring into their ears throughout the night. I think they might have fainted from fright. Or disgust!! Amazing imagery!!! And so,so true. I know a lot of women as they get older feel exactly this way. Nobody settles after a certain age. Being single is just too much fun and stress-free! Who needs all this dirt,noice and smells on a daily basis?
Walk Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 None of you have listed sex as a quality. Why is that? The only one who mentions sex was Paddington Bear and only as an angst against men and what they want. Do none of us enjoy sex with partners? Are we too afraid to mention pleasing our partners as something we offer? Or is this taboo to say in today's age? I think the question is not what women offer men, but what men want from women and vice versa. I think if you offer yourself as the whole, lovely, soft, caring womanly package a lot of men aren't interested because it's not sexy enough or you come across as mothering them too much, which again is just not sexy. A friend of mine once said that ultimately men want sex and women want someone to snuggle to watching dvd's - ok so she was being humorous, but I think there's a grain of truth in it. I think if you offer yourself as the whole, lovely, soft, caring womanly package a lot of men aren't interested because it's not sexy enough or you come across as mothering them too much, which again is just not sexy. I think I offer quality sex as a positive attribute for why I'm a valuable member of a relationship. I love sex. I think it's the BOMB! I love sharing that with someone. In addition.. I'm witty, intelligent, happy (usually), determined, dedicated, and mostly confident. I get the feeling that sex is something that should be seperate from a relationship. Its something that is viewed as being offered to capture a mate, but once that's over with then it's no longer necessary. As though it's seen as evil to enjoy it. Are we still our mothers? After all these years of liberal feminist retoric are we still trapped in the 1950's viewing sex as something the man takes but we don't enjoy and certain do not offer as a quality of ourselves that we share with our spouses?
vonerik012 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 None of you have listed sex as a quality. Why is that? The only one who mentions sex was Paddington Bear and only as an angst against men and what they want. Do none of us enjoy sex with partners? Are we too afraid to mention pleasing our partners as something we offer? Or is this taboo to say in today's age? I think I offer quality sex as a positive attribute for why I'm a valuable member of a relationship. I love sex. I think it's the BOMB! I love sharing that with someone. In addition.. I'm witty, intelligent, happy (usually), determined, dedicated, and mostly confident. I get the feeling that sex is something that should be seperate from a relationship. Its something that is viewed as being offered to capture a mate, but once that's over with then it's no longer necessary. As though it's seen as evil to enjoy it. Are we still our mothers? After all these years of liberal feminist retoric are we still trapped in the 1950's viewing sex as something the man takes but we don't enjoy and certain do not offer as a quality of ourselves that we share with our spouses? I agree with this. Things seem to be backwards these days, at least in the USA. I have read many threads in which girls say something like "I would not have sex with a guy quickly if i wanted a relationship with him" lol What? Then they go on to say they have sex with guys they do not see long term potential in.. In other cultures it is simple. If a girl likes you, and you like her, you have sex. Then it is implied you are boyfriend and girlfriend. It just flows. It is also obvious that sex, or the idea of sex (especially on internet dating) is dangled in front of you to make you want a relationship. Or once in the relationship, it is used by some women to obtain things they want, or withheld at different times. I don't see how it relates to the 50's, as i don't think women used sex as a weapon back then, and were more or less submissive than today.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 - hot sex with some kink here and there I surely didn't leave out sex. I'm hornier these days than a thirteen year old boy surrounded by a stack of well worn Playboys.
Shygirl15 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Well, I think I offer plenty but like someone already said, it would have been easier to describe what we want from from the opposite sex, than expressing what we have to offer.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 It's not difficult to know what you offer unless the word "offer" solely denotes winning or appealing to every man. If anything, don't you want to appeal to a limited audience of men who you find interesting, since you're illustrating the qualities of personal perception? Walk, yes, I did mention sex. Refer to the word "passion". The word sex reminds me of two dogs rutting in the backyard, where passion is between two caring individuals.
Walk Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I don't see how it relates to the 50's, as i don't think women used sex as a weapon back then, and were more or less submissive than today. From my perspective (could be flawed), many decades ago women viewed sex for the purpose of procreation, not enjoyment. That men wanted sex and women put up with it. Again.. my perspective could be skewed, but that's how my grandparents treated sex. So maybe 1920's would be a better era to use? But I always picture the 1950's house wife pictures in old mag's and that never shows a woman with a low cut blouse and showing leg. I do think they were more submissive then today. And I think sex was viewed as more of an obligation by the wife then a pursuit of shared pleasure.
Walk Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Walk, yes, I did mention sex. Refer to the word "passion". The word sex reminds me of two dogs rutting in the backyard, where passion is between two caring individuals. Love, laughter, passion, financial security, an array of interests, loyalty and someone trustworthy. Surprisingly, I can even offer compassion and common sense. Passion is subjective. I'm passionate about a great deal of things, not just sex. Why the view on sex as animalistic and disgusting?
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Passion is subjective. I'm passionate about a great deal of things, not just sex. I didn't take that to specifically mean sex. Okay, I understand but that's I meant by it. I do agree that passion can be all-encompassing and like your interpretation because it's true.
Walk Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Well, I think I offer plenty but like someone already said, it would have been easier to describe what we want from from the opposite sex, than expressing what we have to offer. The thread, I think, was attempting to determine the value of our contribution (as a gender) toward a relationship. i.e. What do women in general offer to a relationship OTHER then domestic servant and receptical for sperm.
Ariadne Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Oh, I don't know what I have to offer. Depends on the guy. On a side note: they were more submissive then today offer to a relationship OTHER then domestic servant The word is "than" not "then".
Tomcat33 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 These ladies were all terribly nice. "Undiscovered treasures" my mother called them. Living alone had resulted in them possibly being excessively dainty and feminine in their habits and manners. To a degree that could be difficult for a lot of men to live with. After I read this I could not help make this connection in my head....
Walk Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Oh, I don't know what I have to offer. Depends on the guy. The word is "than" not "then". Just list off some attributes that you're proud of then/than. Crap... I'm off to look up word usage now.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Passion is subjective. I'm passionate about a great deal of things, not just sex. Why the view on sex as animalistic and disgusting? Didn't catch this after you changed it. Meaningless sex is animalistic just like public flatulence or burping is animalistic.
jerbear Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 TC I offer a sports car and an aging product that's worth a dime but will cost $10,000. I'll take a dozen! The problem is both are depreciating, so can I lease both? Okay, being serious now. I offer: Love, laughter, passion, financial security, an array of interests, loyalty and someone trustworthy. Surprisingly, I can even offer compassion and common sense. I'm far from perfect but continue striving to improve.You'll be a great companion to someone. It's more than what I have to offer, consider yourself a true catch!I'll take a dozen. Wait, are you both Canadians?
stillafool Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I offer my hubby good lovin, good cooking, good conversation, love to watch sports, confidante, advisor and I offer him peace.
Taramere Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 After I read this I could not help make this connection in my head.... Hahaha. They look like something out of the Court of Louis XVI. Especially the purple one.
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I'll take a dozen! The problem is both are depreciating, so can I lease both? You'll be a great companion to someone. Wait, are you both Canadians? Haha...always positive cash flow for the successful entrepreneur! Hang on, positive cash flow and entrepreneur are conflicting terms! Thanks. That's what I want. A lover and a best friend. Yes. Canadian humour leans towards a mix of British irony/sarcasm and a broader American humour. It's of course, individual reliant.
Vertex Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Sex can be animalistic or passionate depending on what you want and what your partner wants. *shrug* I really think it is just that simple. If you aren't patient/cautious enough to see if your partner's view is compatible, then of course you're going to run into problems and this "power transfer" issue that seems to be permeating this thread. Don't use sex as bait -- it sends the wrong signals. However, this does not mean you can't view sex as a positive trait you can offer the opposite sex. Walk: Agreed on all counts. I also think you'd be one of the best catches on this site You're extremely intelligent and it's clear you're very empathetic, caring, funny, and witty. I don't know who you're with, but he's a lucky man!
Jilly Bean Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I have a flat head, turn into a pizza at midnight, and my ears turn up into peanut bowls.
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