scold2886 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Thank you for reading this and please help me out The other Day i went by my ex's house to see if She would talk to me it's been almost a month and her cell phone got turned off because im not paying for it. So she did what I thought looked out seen it was me and just yelled go away. So i went and talk to her mother to see how she was because i always been close to her mother. So what she told me shocked me. She said my ex still cared and loved me and was playing games and was even going to work things out with me. That was untill a friend of mying told here we were together and i cheated on her. The part about this is i never cheated on her and and even told her how i felt and she was going to let me back in till so jelous girl made up this story.So I got to go back in town tuesday and her mother said she was going to try and explain it all to her.What should i do i been with her 4 years and we just got stressed and tired and she was the one that left me. How can i get her attention and work this out with her again i love her so much i'm just so confused at this point it been crazy over the last 2 month's. the last time we talked we got into this big fight and that was the last i heard from her. So how should i go about getting her back.
BCCA Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 First, do not go by her place or contact her mother anymore. Those are two ways to show some desperation, which she will not find attractive at all. The last time you talked and got into a fight sounds about what I would have expected to happen. It's a push/pull situation, remember that. All you can do right now is push her away. She will start fights and come up with reasons to be angry or upset at you. You need to give things at least a month of absolutely no contact with her or her mother. During that month, you need to exercise everday, go out with friends, and go on 3 dates with other women. They dont have to be serious, but just to get your mind on something else and get used to getting attention from another woman. Think long and hard about what you want and what youre looking for in a partner. Keeping a journal can be helpful. At the end of this month, see how you feel about her. There is a chance you wont have any desire to speak to her any longer. The standard answer as far as what to do is stay no contact until she contacts you. I will say, however, that if you're concerned about the lines of communication being open, you can always make a friendly call or send a quick email. All you need to do is say hi, hows it going, nice to hear from you, talk to you later. Call should be less than 5 minutes really. If she seems receptive to it during the call, ask her out for coffee or lunch. If she says yes, spend no more than 1/2-1hour with her, and dont ask her out again when you leave. Wait a few days and call her and ask her out again. Repeat this for a while, and gradually work your visits into more "date" like stuff, movies, dinner, etc. Act like youre starting to date her all over. Take things extremely slow. Thats best case scenario. Whats unfortunately more likely to happen is that she'll deny your request to meet up, and at that point you'll have to really just move on. Hopefully, after taking the month break, you'll be in a better place to do it. From this point on, just do not contact her at all. Hope this helps.
verve Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Listen to BCCA's advice, the guy always gives out sound advice. That time to reflect without having your thoughts clouded by contact really help and you'll find your perspective changes a lot as time goes on as well.
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