sdse71 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 The girl that I've been seeing has suddenly started acting strange and I can't figure out what's going on with her. She won't open up to me. When I ask her what's going on, she says she is fine. However, I know she's not being honest because a mutual friend has told me there are things going on with her. Some of them are related to me although minor, but some aren't. What is so odd is that this sudden change happened literally over night. Last Sunday night is when it really became obvious. We had planned on going out on a date this weekend. I just mentioned there was a football game that was on this weekend (no mention though that I intended to blow off our date though... it's just a game). When I mentioned it, she said "Awww, I want us to go out." I said not to worry about it that we are going out. The next day, to make her feel even better, I told her again that we were going out, not to worry, and that I had already just planned to record the game because I would rather go out with her. I was almost taken back when she said "We'll have to wait and see what happens." After that is when mutual friend told me what was mentioned previously, and that she's afraid if she says anything I'll feel like jumping off a bridge. In fact, I would actually be thrilled if she opened up to me. Plus, I also found out she apparently is having some self esteemed issues. I did attempt to get her to open up to me when I got some things off my chest and told her in all fairness, if there was anything she wanted to get off hers, related to me or not, to go ahead that I would just listen to her. Of course, she wouldn't. She said everything was fine, but in an almost depressing tone. I told her if and when she was ready, I would always be here for her to talk to and that I wouldn't go away with my tail tucked between my legs nor would I get mad. I said I would always stand by her through both good and bad times. I tried to be reassuring. Also, everytime I mentioned getting her out of the house this week to go do something, even if it were to just go to the park, she has shot me down. Understand, she doesn't like to sit at home. She has said that several times. Which even and especially makes the date thing seem odd. She's never acted like that about going on a date before. It's almost like she's avoiding me. We talk on the phone, but that's it (at least over the past week). When I've talked to her, the tone of her voice just isn't the same, and last night, it seemed hard to get her to make a decent conversation. Almost like she wasn't interested in talking, even though I tried to act like everything was normal. We are/were very much in love. The thing is, up until very recently, everyone always talked about us being the perfect couple.We have been so compatible together and always had a great time. It seems like the biggest issue (which really shouldn't be one) is a lack of communication in certain areas. I just can't figure out what's going on with her and why she won't open up. I wish there were some way to get her to open up or find out why she won't, even though I've given her every reassurance it's ok. She'll talk to everyone else but me. I don't know what to do! Can someone help?
vertigocidic Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I hear you, dude. I'm pretty much the same as your girlfriend. Her issue is that maybe she doesn't want to appear whiny or depressed, but she and I have got to learn that we have to communicate better. She might have self esteem issues, or maybe her parents always shoot her down when she spoke up on what she wanted. Whatever the case may be, the past might of affected her to be this way. What my boyfriend would do in order to open me up is to keep asking me but in a nice, calm tone of voice. He'll even touch me, hold me, or even kiss me. That always make me feel better, and then I say what bothers me or what I want. Now, if this is her first time being like this and you two have been going out for, then there could be a bigger issue going on here. There might be some indictations to her strange behaviors; 1.) She might of cheated/is cheating on you and finds you less attractive 2.) She's dealing with a life crisis right now 3.) Or, she wants to break up, but can't right now for various reasons. So, just back off for now, and just continue be her wonderful boyfriend. Ask other people who knows her and find out what's going on. Once you find your answers, talk to her one last time. Hope I helped!
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