Bells Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I was just wondering, after being on a 1st date that went well, meaning she's willing to see me again. Would you still pursue other single people....since you're not necessarily commited to the first person just yet?
D-D Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I would only see one person at a time, but I am fairly conservative in my views. I have the impression that most people on this board that would suggest that you are only exclusive after a few dates (i.e. ....you're actually dating) or if you have both agreed to be exlusive.
Shygirl15 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Yeah, like D-D said you'll get variety of opinions here but I'm also very conservative so exclusive or not, I only date one person at a time.
carhill Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I'd be curious to know how many men share the conservative viewpoint. I always thought I was more of an anomaly. Conventional wisdom would lead me to believe, as the pursuer, a man needs to explore as many paths as possible if for no other reason than competition from other males. I just never felt that way so never dated multiple people.
vonerik012 Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 I have never wanted to, or dated more than one person at a time. I do not see the point, personally. I am not attracted to women who serial date either. It seems like a huge waste of the male's time if you are out with a different guy each day of the week, knowing you will not sleep with any of them , or that they even have much of a chance in getting to know you well.
Author Bells Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 I'd be curious to know how many men share the conservative viewpoint. I always thought I was more of an anomaly. Conventional wisdom would lead me to believe, as the pursuer, a man needs to explore as many paths as possible if for no other reason than competition from other males. I just never felt that way so never dated multiple people. Our date went pretty well, and she was a really nice person, and I'd like to go out with her again...we have tentative plans to do so....I even mentioned on our date "Would you like to come up by neck of the woods and do something there?" ( I live like a half hour away) and she agreed to it. She even made it sound like there would be some kind of "future" for us "future" meaning....including me in her life in the future...not talking about marriage or anything...but that was her tone...so to speak. Very welcoming woman and loving it seems. Was kind of shocked by her great behaviour. But, as you know, she could, given enough to think about me and our date...find something wrong and say, "sorry, it was nice knowing you" I mean, you never know...do a complete suprising 180. Thus my reason for thinking about exploring other options. Kind of like insurance. We had already been ona "Mock" date spontaneously when we were hanging with friends...took her off to the side and bought her lunch. So it might have been a date and a half. lol But like I said, she could drop the ball. <shrug> I don't know if sh'e stelling other guys...that are asking her out that "Sorry, I'm seeing someone (me)" Maybe I should ask her if she still sees other guys or wants to see other guys afte rseeing me? She's doing the friendship first, but we still flirt and such. I compliment her on her appearance when I arrive dto pick her up. and so on. So I got my flirting on. lol
carhill Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Just a hint. Do the over-thinking in therapy, rather than during the dating process I would opine that, as you each barely know each other (I presume), you should each do what you normally do and, if for you, that means being friendly with other women, then so be it. TBH, where I am now, I'd have no problem with that. I enjoy women for the entire realm of what they have to offer and each one is different. At whatever point sexual intimacy becomes an important subject, that's IMO the time to discuss exclusivity, at least to come to a mutual understanding. I think, if you get too deep into this stuff too early, there's too much to think about and not enough fun stuff, which is kinda the purpose of a relationship. There should be a balance. I tend to trend to the thinking-too-deeply side of the street and I know it's been injurious to past relationships. Remember, watch for her actions to match her words. Women's actions speak volumes
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