The "peter pan" women here don't know the simple rule of economics

[Kamille]

Truthfully FB, it is just hard not to question your agenda when this is just the latest in a series of threads making assumptions about women and their unrealistic expectations posted by a "new member".

 

I enjoyed this thread and wish you a grand old time playing tennis with your wife.

[Tomcat33]

Just as I thought he still hasn't answered the questions nor can he, he has no stance whatsover other than women over 30 are damaged goods.

 

. To continue that analogy it's not hard to find a tennis partners is it?? so do you spend 20 years sitting by the side of the court with a sour face just because you never think anyone is good enough to play with you. That's how your life is, wake up!!

 

 

Who's sitting by the side of the court looking sour? How does NOT being married equal sitting by the side of the court and being sour?

There are plenty good enough to play with that's what you are missing, just haven't encountered one strong enough (and to our liking) to form a doubles team with!

Big difference.

 

Look the point is you just put women down, I've got your number.

 

You don't hold the same regard for men who are also waiting it out. You think a 40 yr old single dude is MORE desirable to father children than a 27 yr old one is? I don't know what planet you live on but but men dont' get physically better with time, between faulty equiptment, less potent sperm, lack of energy and slowing down physically, their MUCH shorter life span expectancy, and hairloss (makes them sooo unattractive) and imaturity level because a man on his own for that long does not emotionally mature he just regresses where as women tend to be more complete in this sense due to our biological makeup and nurturing tendencies, I don't see why you would just single out one gender as if it doesn't work both ways?

 

 

 

 

Anyway I gotta go pick my wife up from the station, we're playing tennis tommorow, should bring a couple of arguments lol. It's been a pleasure

 

 

Soooo predictable "I have to pick up my wife coming in from out of town" I suppose that was intended to explain why you are on here on a saturday afternoon telling single women to "settle" when you should be with your W enjoying your marriage? :lmao:

 

 

You ARE funny I'll give you that but I don't think you mean to be, which makes you that much more funny.

[Trialbyfire]

It's just another thread intended to create false demand for men who don't meet standards. Just another guy who has no idea what individuals want or need and can't accept that not all women are solely focused on getting married or even being in a relationship, for that matter.

 

In order to claim that your pattern of relationship is "the way to go", you need to expand on why and how this works for both of you. How can you possibly blanket a subsector of women and tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing, when they're not even asking the questions or even unhappy and whining about the situation?

 

There's nothing altruistic about this thread what-so-ever.

 

Why would I listen to a man who doesn't have my best interests in mind and for that matter, doesn't even appear to understand his own relationship or wife?

[Trialbyfire]

Oh, and to add insult to injury, the methodology you're suggesting is that two people go into something as serious as marriage without a clue in the world, with the hopes that the two of you can work everything out. Now who's talking about fairy tales and unreasonable expectations?

[Jersey Shortie]

Interesting how these arguments almost always come from men. Why? Because they feel threatened.

 

I would have to agree. I can't think of another reason for the guys here to say what they say about women if they weren't threatened in some way. What I don't get is what they would be threatened about.

 

I digress. I am in my mid-20s. And a big part of me would have loved to find that special guy when I was 21, where we would be working on a committed relationship. But that's not the way it has happened. I am still looking for that guy. My expectations aren't out of this world. But I will be damned if I will be "scared" into settling for a "nice guy" just because he is "nice", as if that's the only requirement I should have and that I should be happy with. We all want someone who is loyal, smart, funny, attractive...but there is no one combination of all these attributes. Loyal, funny, smart and attractive can mean such vastly different things to each of us. And it's about finding the right combination that you click with. It would be nice if everyone found that in their early 20s. But that isn't how life works. Not everyone gets that lucky. Are you really immature if your are in your 30s and not married? Come on! When did marriage become the baraomoter for maturity? Especially in a day and age where people get married and divorced at the blink of an eye. If being in a marriage or committed relationship always meant you were always more healthy then the people who weren't, wouldn't that mean that none of these people would ever get divorced. After all,they have it all figured out since they are "married".

 

So to all the guys here that are older then me telling me that i'm looking for a fairy tale ... BS! I'm looking for a decent man that I click with. Don't you dare tell me what I should or shouldn't be settling for. I know how to make compromises on things. I have made compromises for men. I'm not looking for a fairy tale. I am looking for a man that makes me feel like a woman. That isn't asking too much. And just because I haven't found him, doesn't mean I am broken or not looking to be vunerable or any of the other crap you want to use to scare me into a relationship with any man that just happens to be "nice". I've been dumped and I have dumped guys. So don't pretend you know better then me about my own expectations of men and what I desire from them or what I should desire from them.

[Touche]

I just have two things to say here on this.

 

One is that I'm soooo glad I didn't listen to men like this and held out for the man who met all of my expectations/requirements. And at the ripe old age of 33 I found him.

 

Two is my theory. What I think we're looking at here is this:

 

You 30-something single ladies on here, remind me of myself when I was in my 30's...single, attractive, smart and together. And yes, quite discriminating (nicer way of saying picky.)

 

You're exactly the type of woman who probably shot this guy down time and time and time again. And that's why he had to "settle" for what he's got now. It makes himself feel better to try to bring you ladies down a notch. Misery loves company and all of that.

 

I agree with whoever said that he'll be crying on the boards one day about how he loves his wife but isn't "in love" with her.

 

Just because you settled OP, maybe because you had to..I don't know, why should these ladies who have much to offer, settle as well?

 

Why is it even any of your business how they conduct their love lives?

 

Enjoy the marriage you settled for and leave them alone.

[Trialbyfire]

It's like taking advice from my cat. All he can say is "meow, meow", no matter what I ask him and who asks him! All people aren't created as carbon copies of each other. What works for one person, might be the most dysfunctionally effed up relationship for someone else.

[Shygirl15]

You can insult me all you like, I'm the one that's in a happy relationship

 

:lmao:

 

Really? Then what are you doing on a DATING forum??

[carhill]

The best advice I get from the cat is when she sinks her claws into me while I'm sleeping. Can't ignore that advice. Wait, maybe that was my wife?

 

Haven't been following the thread (mowing the lawn here) but anything about women over 30 being less vital as a partner is just a bunch of who ha. Women that age are just getting warmed up. When they get to be Lizzie's age, they're perfectly ripe for picking

 

Enjoy your "labors"

[Touche]

Ok, in the OP's defense, since this has come up a few times, this isn't a DATING forum! It's a relationship forum. There's a difference.

 

I'm happily married and I came here for an issue I was having and stayed because I enjoy the people here and I enjoy helping when I can.

 

Being here doesn't mean you have a bad marriage you know. Just wanted to come to his defense on that one point.

 

As for the rest, he's confused and misguided. I agree.

[Shygirl15]

Ok, in the OP's defense, since this has come up a few times, this isn't a DATING forum! It's a relationship forum. There's a difference.

 

I'm happily married and I came here for an issue I was having and stayed because I enjoy the people here and I enjoy helping when I can.

 

Being here doesn't mean you have a bad marriage you know. Just wanted to come to his defense on that one point.

 

As for the rest, he's confused and misguided. I agree.

 

Ah, but Touche I have seen you only posting and discussing on other threads regarding relationship issues. Our Mr. FrankBlack however, took the matter in his own hands and infact started a thread discussing why 30+ women have such unrealistic needs. Appears to me this is none of his business since he's so happily married, so I was curious as to why he bothers.

[Tomcat33]

It's just another thread intended to create false demand for men who don't meet standards. Just another guy who has no idea what individuals want or need and can't accept that not all women are solely focused on getting married or even being in a relationship, for that matter.

 

 

Exactly!! Rejects looking to even the score they do hate women like us because we represent everything they wanted to have but couldn't have.

 

I love men, honestly I LOVE men, I have no time for cry babies though. Life is not a joy ride it is hard work and consistent efforts that produce the results one needs to sustain a balanced level of happiness and contentment. But when I hear all these babies feeling sorry for themselves and hating on a gender because they just couldn't have it any better themselves, I tend to see it for what it is. I think most women do, and that is what piiisses the Frank's and Von's and all the extremists off.

 

Just as we had no time for them in RL the cycle continues here. I think they just enjoy being rejected.

 

Come on! When did marriage become the baraomoter for maturity? Especially in a day and age where people get married and divorced at the blink of an eye. If being in a marriage or committed relationship always meant you were always more healthy then the people who weren't, wouldn't that mean that none of these people would ever get divorced. After all,they have it all figured out since they are "married".

 

Chya seriously if that's the case then Britney Spears should be the most mature woman in the world, she does have 3 marriages under her belt already.....

 

So to all the guys here that are older then me telling me that i'm looking for a fairy tale ... BS! I'm looking for a decent man that I click with. Don't you dare tell me what I should or shouldn't be settling for. I know how to make compromises on things. I have made compromises for men. I'm not looking for a fairy tale. I am looking for a man that makes me feel like a woman. That isn't asking too much. And just because I haven't found him, doesn't mean I am broken or not looking to be vunerable or any of the other crap you want to use to scare me into a relationship with any man that just happens to be "nice". I've been dumped and I have dumped guys. So don't pretend you know better then me about my own expectations of men and what I desire from them or what I should desire from them.

 

And this is coming from a 20 something year old woman, not an "old hag over 30". So as you can see more women are learning to wait for what they feel they deserve and not settle out of fear that they will be single forever, which is what the Vons and Franks fear themselves. That same fear some of these "men" try to propagate in order to bring women down.

 

Frank I guess, like a lot of guys that settle, your fear got the best of you and now you have to make it work. As you should, otherwise you have double problems:

 

1. you have a marriage you had to settle for and you have to work at convincing yourself that you did the right thing

2. if you don't you are a failure for not making it work on top of it for making a decision base on fear, not love

 

That's a lot of "esplainin to do Lucy" if it doesn't quite pan out!

 

But then again I SERIOUSLY doubt you are married. no married guy makes something like this petty thread their cruisade. There are plenty married men around here who post regularly and they are far more balanced than this.

 

 

 

One is that I'm soooo glad I didn't listen to men like this and held out for the man who met all of my expectations/requirements. And at the ripe old age of 33 I found him./QUOTE]

 

 

No no not "ripe age", you mean washed up age.

Women above 30 yrs of age don't find love Touche, not that you have years an a beautiful boy to prove otherwise or anything....

 

 

 

You're exactly the type of woman who probably shot this guy down time and time and time again. And that's why he had to "settle" for what he's got now. It makes himself feel better to try to bring you ladies down a notch. Misery loves company and all of that.

 

 

That's the bottom line, when you are this transparent, I say call yourself a super hero. You definitely belong in a comic book!

 

Lastly the funny thing is that a lot of the women he cuts up here, he doesn't even realise are women who have already been married, had long term relationships or were engaged etc and they chose a better path for themselves because they COULD. It's not that we are commitment phobes but value and are aware enough to know our worth.

[Touche]

Ah, but Touche I have seen you only posting and discussing on other threads regarding relationship issues. Our Mr. FrankBlack however, took the matter in his own hands and infact started a thread discussing why 30+ women have such unrealistic needs. Appears to me this is none of his business since he's so happily married, so I was curious as to why he bothers.

 

Oh, ok. Gotcha shygirl.

 

I think he's bitter. I think I'm right about my theory on that.

[Tomcat33]

Ok, in the OP's defense, since this has come up a few times, this isn't a DATING forum! It's a relationship forum. There's a difference.

 

I'm happily married and I came here for an issue I was having and stayed because I enjoy the people here and I enjoy helping when I can.

 

Being here doesn't mean you have a bad marriage you know. Just wanted to come to his defense on that one point.

 

As for the rest, he's confused and misguided. I agree.

 

Yes but you are one of the many married people that came here with a legitimate cause in mind, to figure out some of your life's issues at the time.

 

This dude just joined today and his post is to put down ALL single women over 30. A bit odd don't you think considering he is so happily married. hmmmmmm...?

What is a happily married person doing on a site like this and posting to an entire gender unfounded claims on how they should live their lives as an introduction post?

[Lizzie60]

Hahahaha.. good for you FB.. another one of those threads.. and you got the 'baits'..

[Touche]

Great post, TC!

 

And you know what? I think you very well may be right about this guy not being married. If he is, I question whether he's happily married.

 

Happily married guys wouldn't start a thread like this.

[Touche]

Yes but you are one of the many married people that came here with a legitimate cause in mind, to figure out some of your life's issues at the time.

 

This dude just joined today and his post is to put down ALL single women over 30. A bit odd don't you think considering he is so happily married. hmmmmmm...?

What is a happily married person doing on a site like this and posting to an entire gender unfounded claims on how they should live their lives as an introduction post?

 

Oh I just saw this after I had already posted.

 

True. I agree. It's all very suspect.

[Trialbyfire]

I love men, honestly I LOVE men, I have no time for cry babies though. Life is not a joy ride it is hard work and consistent efforts that produce the results one needs to sustain a balanced level of happiness and contentment. But when I hear all these babies feeling sorry for themselves and hating on a gender because they just couldn't have it any better themselves, I tend to see it for what it is. I think most women do, and that is what piiisses the Frank's and Von's and all the extremists off.

Werd! If these guys were honestly interested in helping women, they would show women how awesome they are as individuals, representative of the male gender. There are a number of male participants on this site, who lead by amazing example. They're also the same kind of men who are in high demand by women. Funny how you can correlate this, although not always!

[Tomcat33]

Werd! If these guys were honestly interested in helping women, they would show women how awesome they are as individuals, representative of the male gender. There are a number of male participants on this site, who lead by amazing example. They're also the same kind of men who are in high demand by women. Funny how you can correlate this, although not always!

 

 

Yup, bottom line!

 

Thanks Touche

[FrankBlack]

I just showed my wife this thread and we had a good chuckle.... I'm not putting down women over 30, just the peter pans on this forum that think they're gods gift to men, but can't attract one that's good enough for them!

 

I think the women on this thread do not like it when a successfully married man tells them the truth as to why they are failing. Obviously it's the mans problem yeah!

 

So it's all about high dating value...... hmmm that's an interesting one... I guess with such a high worth you should be able to take your pick... oh wait a minute you just can't find anyone that meets your needs right? where are all this high value males they should be flocking to you with your high worth and meet your needs easily?

 

Hmmm.... it's a bit like someone offering you a thousand bucks for your car when you think it's worth ten thousand, it's obviously not your unrealistic expectations, after all its worth ten thousand pounds and it's not depreciating yes? because yeah you think it's worth ten thousand and you're right!

 

Economics 101!!! It's only worth what someone will pay for it, not what you think it's worth! So put a realistic value on it! Where are all these men with their offers huh?? They should be coming out with their cash offering over and above to secure that hot deal!! You're only getting offers below what you expect though?? Hmmm.. obviously they're not valuing it right!! You're worth more yeah??!

 

Anyway... I'm sure you've head this from friends many times and have rejected real life interactions with them to find similar people on a forum where you can live in an alternate universe where you're just SO attractive you can't attract anyone good enough and everyone here agrees. Yeah that makes sense. Stick another 10 thousand on your worth and if that doesn't work you can always get another cat to meet your needs

[KinAZ]

Resources are finite.

 

Indeed, from reading their posts you may believe that there are an infinite supply of decent men. Not so, there are a finite amount and they are being competed for.

 

This means women have to make a realistic choice about their partner and what they can attract. The fact is, a woman in her 30's is going past the prime of her fertility. In fact, any woman serious about having children probably has already chosen to find a stable environment for raising children by this age. Otherwise what has she been doing with her time?

 

Well adjusted women chose not to spend their time on casual affairs and settled for a good choice of stable male long ago. It is no good being a female in your 30's, and STILL looking for some stud as your lifelong partner, this will not work at all. Often the women who have this unrealistic approach and peter pan syndrome haven't quite climbed down from their pedestal yet, still believing that they are the young carefree woman because they can't accept that those times are over. Well guess what, those times are over, they were over long ago, and if you can't let go then you are ill equipped to deal with the different seasons of life.

 

We all grow old and picking the casual immature men as partners means you grow old alone. So either grow up, accept it, and pick the right men realistically or you'll still be living in this alternate dimension in a few years playing the 18 year old college girl type. And believe me, it's not attractive at all to the decent males for a woman in her 30's to be acting this way.

 

LMAO! Why wasn't this addressed to the men as well?!

 

You do make some good points, and no childbearing abilities is NOT the sinker. I've dated guys, and backed off because they did not want children. Yes, some men do decide later in life that they want children, however, there are plenty of men who don't. And, the women who don't want children... it would only make sense that they would settle down with men who don't want children either!

 

Being a "minority" of the general population does not mean that you have no chance, or need to lower your standards or give up hope.

 

But I DO agree with what you've said about people not being realistic and believing that their looks and youthful attitude will allow them to be the life of the party forever. Sometimes they don't realize how silly they look in a crowd full of teenie boppers... Yes, you're now the person you said "ew" to when you were their age!

[Trialbyfire]

I've yet to hear any woman in this thread whine about not being able to attract "high value" men. Is it possible they're not in a hurry to settle for someone who doesn't do it for them, for whatever reason? The reason could be as simple as enjoying being single, dating whomever they want, or something more complex, like needing intensity in a relationship. It's usually quite a number of reasons and if they're satisfied with this, why MUST they settle and be married?

 

Marriage isn't an ultimate goal. Many of us have had multiple proposals from great guys who for whatever reason, just aren't compatible to the level that we want, especially in reference to personal needs within a relationship. Many of us have been married and some are in very happy marriages.

 

All I can say is that the more pummeling received from men who believe in happily ever after fairy tales from settling for someone while meandering into relationships, the more I appreciate the more sane and balanced men on LS who understand relationship dynamics and compatibility.

[Kamille]

Welcome back FB.

 

I have to say I think people are making a lot of assumptions on both side of the gender divide on this thread.

[Tomcat33]

I just showed my wife this thread and we had a good chuckle....

 

 

:lmao::lmao: Sure sure you showed your "wife" :lmao:

 

I am off to Saint Tropez in an hour and my private jet is picking me up and Tiffany's just called the Hope Diamond necklace they are loaning me for the weekend is ready. It'll just get my cheuffer to pick it up.

[Jersey Shortie]

I'm not putting down women over 30, just the peter pans on this forum that think they're gods gift to men, but can't attract one that's good enough for them!

 

I don't really recall too many women here ever saying they were gods gift that deserved gods gift.

 

And I hate to tell you but Peter Pan is a term stereotypically originated to describe men, not women. Where are young details advocating the dangers of men being Peter Pans?

 

I also do not want to be settled for either. I don't want to be with a man that thought he was settling for me so that he could breed his own small baseball team to carry on his jeans. I want love from a man first. And if children come from that, great! If they don't, I don't think I will be disappointed because I really just want to fall in love and have an amazing connection with a man. I rather be by myself, then with a man that thought he settled for me. I don't expect a man not to see my less attractive traits. But I don't expect him to think he settled because of them.