SarahPriest Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Hey All, I'm a bit of a newbie here but am finding myself struggling to find answers for so many questions. My current partner and i used to live abroad together, it lasted two years there and we were really happy. But since coming back to the UK he's becoming a chronic liar. In the past seven months, he has slept with his ex-'wife' (they have a child together but no marriage), snuck of to meet an ex-girlfriend in Cyprus... as a friend apparently. And also had coffee with a mutual married friend of ours, and kissed her, and told her he loved her. It seems to be a recurring situation - and i am being perhaps to forgiving when it comes to this seen as i am pregnant. I really don't know what to do... but today he went to pick up his son, from the same ex-'wife' he slept with a few months ago, and is now well over two hours late. And he isn't replying to any of my texts, and ignoring his phone. I am trying to be trustworthy with him but when he ignores me it is difficult not to worry that he is lying to me again. After the second instance he has put a PIN lock on his mobile, as that is the way i have found out before... and now carries it with him like a security blanket Also locking his laptop everytime he walks away from it, even though i know this is the way he has arranged to meet women before. So i am obviously worried. What are the chances he is doing this to me again? I can understand he may be unhappy in our relationship, but everytime he always tries to rectify things with me saying that he still loves me, and is sorry. I am worried because i no longer trust him and i am worried that he is going to continue deceiving me... and leave me at home holding the baby so to speak. What are your thoughts and experiences on this? SarahP x P.s. He has finally text me saying it her other sons birthday... but how viable is this? If i can't trust him, then there is no family left to fight for....
norajane Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 What are the chances he is doing this to me again? He is most certainly cheating on you and will continue to do so. He has no reason not to - you keep accepting his behavior, so he figures you'll keep accepting it no matter what he does and how often he cheats. No consequences = no change in behavior. I'd kick him out fast. I know you're pregnant, but all you should expect from him is to be a father to your child and whatever child support you are legally entitled to. Otherwise, he is a waste of your time, energy, and love.
Lolodelight Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Hi, I was on here last week, and told my story. Just to summarise: I was dating a guy for two years who has a child of 15. In June this year I felt that he didn't love, but was still in love with the child's mother. I confronted him about it, but he didn't reject anything I said. He made a comment that he wanted to sleep with her. We split up for a few days... He said how sorry he is and loved me blah, blah, blah and gave me the spiel. So, I took him back. I specifically told him what actions make me feel uncomfortable, he said he would address them - having strict boundaries with the child's mother. Two months on, August, I found that he texted his child's mother asking her to come and be with him and child on a particular day. Bottom line, your guy is not going to change. However, you got a child on the way. So, if I was you I would think about you and the child and try and ween yourself of your guy. Personally, I think when your child comes, he knows you're not going anywhere and it will be a lot easier him to continue what he's doing. That's so ideal for him to have two or more women. I agree with Norajane: No consequences = no change in behaviour. P.s it's been a week since I've split my guy - I have spoken and seen him, but now I'm thinking NC
2sunny Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 what do i think? it's over - move on and understand that he clearly isn't a man to be trusted.
carhill Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 OP, give him a nice tasty silence sandwich and let him chew on that with his other love interests for awhile. Meanwhile, things are looking up for you.
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