OurDestiny Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I'm in this situation. I've been with someone for a year. We both make each other very happy, no screaming, no hating, nada. Honestly, he's made me the happiest I've ever been and that is no exaggeration. His parents are very controlling and although we are both 20 years old, since he is not out on his own his parents continue to control him ever since he was forced to move back. The only problem, besides his parents, is his lying problem. This issue is not something he chose voluntarily, it was something he conditioned himself to grow up with on account of the way his parents "raised him". So, ever since I found out I have asked him to get help and he has given it a bit of effort but nothing really serious, since it always managed to get forgotten or whatever. Things happened and he forgot about therapy. So recently, (I haven't seen him for a few months by this point) I discovered the he had basically created an entire life for himself that in my incredible disappointment found to be a fictitious life. This went on for a month or so before I found out. That night that I found out, I broke up with him. No "lets get back together soon." It was more like "we can't be together". He didn't accept this and it seems he has now found determination to do what he needs to do to get better. I feel that it is good that he is now trying and that he told me he wouldn't give up on me. What i do feel bad about is that I'm so scared since the "ball is now in his court" I could lose him. Regardless of how he feels for me, he doesn't have a lot of confidence and he has self worth issues. What do I do? I don't want to lose him.
BCCA Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Well, you have to go with your gut instinct here, but it would be really difficult for me to be able to trust someone who can lie so easily. Thats good that hes getting help, and there is nothing wrong with holding out hope that he'll get things turned around and come back a better person. If he's serious about fixing his problems, then I would say you should take things slowly and see how he's progressed. A fellow Californian
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