BlueStu Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Hi all, Its 6:30am in the UK and its my second night since my gf and I separated. Its also the second night I havent slept a wink. Shes trying to find if she still loves me. However, she is speaking with another guy alot who she says is just a friend thats helping her out during our rough patch. I beleive her. However, she told me he spent the night here over last weekend whilst I was away at my parents, and he slept on the couch with her to cuddle her and help her feel safe. We have been together 6 years and have never had sex yet for various reasons. I cant sleep a wink because I'm heartbroken. I should be the one making her feel safe and cuddling her. Cuddling is the closest we come to 'Making love' and shes doing it freely with another man whilst we're trying to fix things. I feel crushed, cheated and oblivious as to why she wont let me do those things. Now shes got her own place whilst we sort it, my nerves are even more on end. I cant eat, sleep and keep running to the loo to vomit non-existant puke. Am I right to be aggreived by this?
nowhereman82 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Your feelings are naturally and she technically cheated on you. You only have to look at if you did the same with a women how you would feel and how she would feel. She is attracted to this new feelings with the new guy. Remember when you first met you lady how you had butter flys and called them all the time and they made you feel euphoric? Or the first time laying with her and cuddling? Yea that was your body pumping out natural drugs. Helps attraction for mating. Your lady is experiencing this with this man I am sure and it has stepped between how she feels for you. The grass is greener on the other side. You can attempt to tell her this but she won't know it until she finds it out herself. after more than a year together things start slowing down and the magic isn't as it was within the first 6 months. People are ****ed up from watching too many shows and movies and books and have this distorted view on LTR. Try to find solace in the fact that she is mentally sick right now. Put your foot down and have nothing to do with her while she has anything to do with this man. And if you see him, woop his ass. He's a ****en dog sniffing up your ladies dress and deserves a sound beating. As for her, don't let her have her cake and eat it to. She needs to know that her actions are unacceptable. Read up on NC here and do it. You will have an awesome support group here. Pour out your bad days and good days with us and help it keep your mind from her. Hit the gym. Rearrange the furniture in your place. Clean it top to bottom. Wack off to porn until you cant get it up anymore!! lol Just don't be hard on yourself over the next couple of weeks. You will go on a rollercoaster of emotions and its normal. 6 years = months of recovery. Best wishes and I will watch out for your future posts.
mc5 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 What are the various reasons for not doing anything with her?
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