Mending1985 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I'm home alone for this whole weekend and all my friends are busy doing things with their boyfriends or other friends, and I can't cheer up. I woke up this morning and just felt miserable. Tried to call a couple of friends and noone answered, and I'm feeling so alone right now. I'm just getting to the point where I don't think I'll ever get over my ex, and I'm going to be stuck feeling like this for the rest of my life, and I really think what's the point? I can't find the positives in my life right now. I'm so tired of fighting, and pretending to smile and be happy, and like I'm ok. I'm sick of being lonely and having noone to talk to about it. I just feel like I can't do it anymore and I'm scared.
motive2002 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Well, you have us. I know how you feel though. It's hard when you need support and nobody is there to talk to. I am so grateful for the friends and family I have and the **** they put up with me for the longest time. ... and of course my friends here at the shack
Green Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I might live in your part of austraila we could go and throw the boomarang around maybe tip a few Kangaroos. Home Alone is a great movie by the way
carhill Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Hey, pick yourself up and head over to your local pub. I know, when I was all alone and knew no one in Australia/New Zealand when I've visited, the local pubs the hotel staff told me about were always fun and engaging places to quench any lonely feelings I might have had. Made a few friends and now we have people we can visit and hang with whenever we're downunder. If you don't like pubs, why not just get on some comfortable shoes and go walk. I did that a lot too. Walked the CBD, walked the rivers, walked the parks. Great exercise and another way to meet people. I used to stay in my hotel room when mileage running overseas but find that getting out is so much more refreshing. Hope it can soothe what ails you
Author Mending1985 Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 Thanks for your responses guys...it makes me feel a lot less alone Luckily one of my friends called me back and is coming to rescue me lol I just think I lack a lot of motivation to go and do things and just deal with it. I don't want to be this sad, heartbroken person anymore. I miss the old me!
gd26 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Hey, pick yourself up and head over to your local pub. Getting out of the house is a great idea. However, I'd be careful of getting drunk while you are getting over your ex..... drunk dialing would be a horrible way of breaking NC! So be very VERY careful about consuming alcohol at those pubs! I feel like both you and I are making progress Mending. I've moved on to the place now where I have no compulsion to call the guy (in fact the idea of contacting him makes me ill)... I just can't take any more rejection or feeling unwanted, so I've completely lost interest in calling him, even though he wrote to me today. However, even though I don't want to talk to him, I still feel somewhat sad and tired and in the muck. I've read about heartbreak, and there are stages we go through... one is the denial/shock stage where we can't believe what just happened, and we start clinging to the other person begging him/her to come back. The next stage is the anger stage, where we get really upset once we realize what has just happened. The third stage is the depression stage, where we don't have interest in contacting the other person anymore (as we are tired of being rejected) but we still feel emotionally exhausted. People go back and forth through these 3 stages (though I hope the first clingy stage is over once and for all-- as I'm NEVER going to cling to him again.) I think the fourth stage is where we finally accept the situation and are okay again. I'm glad to see you coming on this site every day.... it's nice to see you working to take charge of your life. Good for you.
carhill Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Getting out of the house is a great idea. However, I'd be careful of getting drunk while you are getting over your ex..... drunk dialing would be a horrible way of breaking NC! So be very VERY careful about consuming alcohol at those pubs! Agreed; OP, if drinking to excess is a possibility, ignore that part of my suggestion. I've never been drunk so pubs to me are just a relatively loud, fun place to meet people and relax. For me, alcohol deadened a bit of the pressure and pain; after a couple weeks of NC, I stopped having a drink in the evening and don't miss it.
nopainnogain Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Know that there is someone out there better for you. And its your duty to be the best you can be so when you guys meet up it will be all good
replicator Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I'm home alone for this whole weekend and all my friends are busy doing things with their boyfriends or other friends, and I can't cheer up. I woke up this morning and just felt miserable. Tried to call a couple of friends and noone answered, and I'm feeling so alone right now. I'm just getting to the point where I don't think I'll ever get over my ex, and I'm going to be stuck feeling like this for the rest of my life, and I really think what's the point? I can't find the positives in my life right now. I'm so tired of fighting, and pretending to smile and be happy, and like I'm ok. I'm sick of being lonely and having noone to talk to about it. I just feel like I can't do it anymore and I'm scared. I'll admit it too. I'm scared. I put on a facade that I'm happy and successful, but without her I feel like I am nothing. She was the meaning to my life, and without her I feel like I am just drifting without purpose. I don't know what makes my life worth living - but I remember the conviction I had about life, and no matter how bad things got, I had her by my side. I wasn't afraid of anything. Now, I'm alone, and nothing seems relevant anymore. Nothing seems to take away the pain I wake up to every morning. I can't give much advice, other than to say give it time. I am hoping myself that time will reveal to me that I've been wrong. That there is something more to life that willl make it all worthwhile.
Author Mending1985 Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 replicator: I totally understand how you feel. Everyday I wake up and it doesn't feel like it used to. It's like the meaning has somehow gone out of everything I do. Everytime something good happens I want to tell him, and I can't because it's just bad to keep going to him. It's frustrating, and I'm at the point where time hasn't worked in my favour so I'm trying to be proactive about cutting it off and doing other things with my life. gd: Agreed about the drunk thing - did that a couple of weekends ago and sent some messy text at 2am about how much I loved him and he was the best thing that ever happened to me blah blah blah so embarrassing lol. I've gone through those stages over and over so many times just waiting for the acceptance to kick in, and it kinda has - I know we aren't getting back together (at least not in the forseeable future anyway) but the acceptance hurts so much more than the denial!
Rowen Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I know how you feel. Ive been doing better since my breakup about 11 months ago, it was months of exactly, that. Drinking and just hell. I finally got out of it, thought I was over her until last night when I had a dream about her with another dude and being happy and today it feels as if I have regressed to months ago.
Author Mending1985 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 Those dreams are the worst. I also hate the dreams where you're back together and everything's great, and then you wake up and it takes a couple of seconds before reality hits and BAM its like someone kicked you in the stomach. Luckily those dreams have stopped for me! I've just deleted my ex's number and all sent and received text messages from him. I'm done this time. It will kill me if I keep doing this.
gd26 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I've just deleted my ex's number and all sent and received text messages from him. I'm done this time. It will kill me if I keep doing this. You're doing great, Mending. I'm sure it must have been difficult to delete those messages.... as I know I tend to be attached to anything my exes have ever written me, and it always took me a lot of strength to delete them. But I think you definitely took a positive step forward.
D-Lish Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 I am at that same stage as you. I'm not pining over an ex- I'm just single- and I find that amogst my crowd of friends that when you're single- you often get forgotten. People don't do it on purpose- they just lose themselves in their relationships and sometimes forget that maintaining friendships are important. I find I am more isolated and a bit lonley. I have gone to the local pub in the place I just moved to and ate dinner at the bar and have met a few people. I don't get loaded or anything- usually just eat and chat with people. I never have a problem meeting people when I actually get out there- I am pretty social. Sometimes it's hard to go places by myself though. I have dogs- and I found a local dog park and have met some people there as well. I am feeling ready to meet someone to settle down with. It's hard to do when my friends don't want to go out and do things like they used to when they were single. I suggest picking up a hobby group- I have been considering learning to play poker. There are a few beginner leagues I have been looking at. I force myself to go out everyday- even if it's just to have a coffee at Starbucks and sit on the patio with my dogs. It can be a lonley life when friends are busy. Have you talked to them and told them how you feel? I recently did that with my best friend who has neglected me quite a bit since taking up with her bf a year and a half ago. She has made more of an effort to hang out since that talk. Don't give up. make sure you make an effort to get out as often as possible so you don't feel so isolated.
Author Mending1985 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 Thanks gd I'm feeling quite positive today! Cleaned my house yesterday which was very therapeutic! Been speaking to some new friends I've made online as well yay! Have thought about him a few times, but not for very long and I make sure I think of something else ASAP. Plus I have half a marble cheesecake waiting for me at home, and that's a pretty cheering thought haha
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