giner8681 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Me and my ex broke up a year ago. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him and I think he thought the same. Obviously that didn't happen. We broke up after 3 years, and a miserable last year for lots of valid reasons, and have not had contact in 10 months. Out of the blue on day he calls to tell me that he wants to drop my bikes off (was this an excuse to call me? I chalked those up to a loss a long time ago!) and we wound up talking for a long time. It was a good conversation and we got alot of stuff out in the open about the break up. He made it a point to tell me that he had been dating someone but they had broken up and asked about me. I haven't dated seriously, but did tell him I've been out a couple times. Truth is, I still missed him and wasn't over him (I didn't tell him this of course!). Since we have initially talked, we spoked more frequently and have since seen eachother. We hung out a few times and the last time we hung out we slept together. Maybe not such a good idea. He is leaving in 2 months for training for 2 years and the next morning he told me that he isn't looking for anything serious. Ok, I understand (and I'm getting the dog we got together for the duration of his training! ), but then since then I have spoken to him numerous times a day just about everyday on the phone, email, texts. 99% of the time he initiates this. We haven't hung out though, which I think I am ok with as I am really confused now and if he says he doesn't want anything serious then I don't want to erase all the work I put into getting over him (sleeping with him did not help that by the way). He tells me he loves to talk to me. And that he would do anything for me and he doesn't know why. Anyway, I am set to see him on Sunday. I guess I just want alittle input from and outsider. What is going on!?!?!?! Maybe I should just walk away from him since he doesn't want anything serious, but I can't bring myself to walk away a second time.
BCCA Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 He's leaving in a couple months for two years and doesnt want anything serious. It honestly sounds to me like he just wants something to hold him over until he leaves. I wouldnt put myself through this if I was you. As the old saying goes, "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free". He obviously isnt interested in rekindling the relationship, so dont put yourself out there for him unless youre REALLY ok with things just being casual.
nowhereman82 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 He's leaving in a couple months for two years and doesnt want anything serious. It honestly sounds to me like he just wants something to hold him over until he leaves. I wouldnt put myself through this if I was you. As the old saying goes, "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free". He obviously isnt interested in rekindling the relationship, so dont put yourself out there for him unless youre REALLY ok with things just being casual. I agree, you are worth more than this, don't let him use you for his emotional and physical needs.
Author giner8681 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Hey guys! Thanks! I think I needed to hear it from someone else...I know that if he still wanted to be with me he would be and the fact that he has been so forward in saying that he didn't want anything serious is a real slap in the face with a heavy dose of reality. Anyway, in case you want the update, he called Saturday afternoon and mentioned me coming over and watching movies and then I guess spending the night and he would fix my car in the AM (he volunteered to do this which is why I was originally going over there on Sunday). I told him I would proably be around but to give me a call. I made other plans. He called later that night and I could tell in his voice that he was disappointed. But I felt good knowing that he knows that I am not waiting around pining after for. Well, I did go over on Sunday. It was gorgeous out and instead of doing the car we went out all day on his bike. We both had so much fun. And then we went back to his place rented movies and had a few drinks. We both slept on the couch and no one made any attempt to put the moves on. I have to admit, it was a bit sad, but I know its ok and it was the right thing in this situation. He fixed the car yesterday and we spent the day and night together again. Same as the night before. So I think we are officially in the friends thing now. Maybe it was just a slip up the other time we slept together. Of couse I still care about him and would do anything in my capabilities to help him out, but I get the feeling he would be there for me too. So, now, I am taking your advice. I'm not putting out for him because I will get too attached, but maybe its not even something he wants anymore so that makes it even easier. For now I think that I am happy with having my buddy back.
Recommended Posts