Jump to content

Girls, Raise your hand if you use the Silent Treatment..?

georgejungle

By georgejungle
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted
How many ladies do this to their BF's Husbands significant

others?

 

I have never given the silent treatment to anyone, let alone my H. I think it's one of most rudest, intentional and cruelest thing to do to someone. If someone did that to me, they'd be out of my life! As a kid growing up, my mom used to do that to me, so now as an adult I won't put up with that from anyone.

blair08 Established Member

blair08

Posted
Posted
I have never given the silent treatment to anyone, let alone my H. I think it's one of most rudest, intentional and cruelest thing to do to someone. If someone did that to me, they'd be out of my life! As a kid growing up, my mom used to do that to me, so now as an adult I won't put up with that from anyone.

 

 

Good for you! I hate your mother did that to you! Wow its bad enough some adults do it to each other, let alone an adult doing it to their kid.

 

You're right, it is rude and cruel, and intentional. Its like mental abuse I guess.

marlena Established Member

marlena

Posted
Posted

I have never given the silent treatment to anyone, let alone my H. I think it's one of most rudest, intentional and cruelest thing to do to someone.

 

 

 

I agree 100% WWIU. I couldn't keep my mouth shut if you stuffed it with cotton balls (no pun) and wrapped duct tape all around it. I have to say my piece no matter what. I think giving someone the silent treatment is passive-aggressive and abusive. It is tantamount to ignoring a person and by doing so negating him. Yes, cruel and dirty playing, too, if I might add.

blair08 Established Member

blair08

Posted
Posted
I agree 100% WWIU. I couldn't keep my mouth shut if you stuffed it with cotton balls (no pun) and wrapped duct tape all around it. I have to say my piece no matter what. I think giving someone the silent treatment is passive-aggressive and abusive. It is tantamount to ignoring a person and by doing so negating him. Yes, cruel and dirty playing, too, if I might add.

 

 

Yep. I just read an article on it, it was saying people who do this, was a way to punish the other person indirectly. Abuse for sure.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted
Good for you! I hate your mother did that to you! Wow its bad enough some adults do it to each other, let alone an adult doing it to their kid.

 

You're right, it is rude and cruel, and intentional. Its like mental abuse I guess.

 

Thank-you for saying that. I guess because I KNOW firsthand how it feels, especially coming from my mom, there's no way in heck I'd ever do that to anyone..

 

You're right, it is a form of mental abuse.

  • Author
georgejungle Established Member

georgejungle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

my Wife only does this when she's mad at me. when she's

frustrated with me, she shuts off. It's funny, she'll immediately

fall asleep and pretend i'm not there. it SUCKS. For someone

who goes all out on how much she cares about me, when she's upset

with me, which honestly is rarely, she turns completely off and if asked

what's wrong, it's always "nothing", well not even words, just a

nod.

 

She's comes from a family that doesn't communicate at all. So when

the going gets tough, nobody talks to anyone. Nobody brings anything

up, so it just gets swept under the rug. She's confessed that when she's

frustrated, she doesn't know how to handle it, so she shuts off and

that's just what she does. I've asked for us to work on that numerous

times. She's gotten better, but still needs work

Touche Established Member

Touche

Posted
Posted

George, why not show her this thread if you're comfortable with that?

 

I mean so many of us on here are women who have experienced this with men.

 

She might see this in a new light.

 

Can you do that?

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

Posted
Posted
my Wife only does this when she's mad at me. when she's frustrated with me, she shuts off. It's funny, she'll immediatelyfall asleep and pretend i'm not there. it SUCKS. For someone

who goes all out on how much she cares about me, when she's upset

with me, which honestly is rarely, she turns completely off and if asked

what's wrong, it's always "nothing", well not even words, just a

nod.

 

I guess my original point was to ask yourself what you're doing to piss her off to that degree. Yeah, if someone just goes quiet without you knowing why and just tortures you, that's nonsense. But that doesn't sound like what your wife does. Maybe it's stuff she has re-hashed with you and she shouldn't have to explain it over and over again. It might be time to look at what you're doing to get her that angry.

 

As far as how she 'goes all out on how much she cares about' you, that's exactly the reason why she has intense reactions. When we really love someone, they can push our buttons faster than anyone because we have a lot more at stake with them than anyone else.

PandorasBox Established Member

PandorasBox

Posted
Posted

Sometimes George it might not be what you're saying or doing that pisses her off, it could be the way she preceives things too. I'm not saying there haven't been times you have maybe done or said something that did piss her off, but only she is in control of how she reacts to things. Shutting down is not dealing, but like you said she came from a family where nothing was delt with, and things were swept under the rug. Talk to her about how it amkes you feel. Maybe she just needs someone to show her how to communicate a little better.

SourKisses Member

SourKisses

Posted
Posted

In my relationship if we fight, I don't do the silent treatment, I snarl and make nasty commets. He on the other hand will walk off or he will sleep in the spareroom.

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

Posted
Posted
In my relationship if we fight, I don't do the silent treatment, I snarl and make nasty commets. He on the other hand will walk off or he will sleep in the spareroom.

 

Making nasty comments would make me walk away, too. Nothing is getting accomplished in this type of fight except that you're wearing the relationship away just a little more. Nasty comments cannot be taken back, and they don't get forgotten. One day, he's going to be sleeping in a bedroom in a different house if you keep this up.

PandorasBox Established Member

PandorasBox

Posted
Posted
In my relationship if we fight, I don't do the silent treatment, I snarl and make nasty commets. He on the other hand will walk off or he will sleep in the spareroom.

 

 

Nasty comments are probably just as hurtful and abusive as those who choose to do the silent treatment.

 

It doesn't do anything but create resentment.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
Posted
my Wife only does this when she's mad at me. when she's

frustrated with me, she shuts off. It's funny, she'll immediately

fall asleep and pretend i'm not there. it SUCKS. For someone

who goes all out on how much she cares about me, when she's upset

with me, which honestly is rarely, she turns completely off and if asked

what's wrong, it's always "nothing", well not even words, just a

nod.

 

She's comes from a family that doesn't communicate at all. So when

the going gets tough, nobody talks to anyone. Nobody brings anything

up, so it just gets swept under the rug. She's confessed that when she's

frustrated, she doesn't know how to handle it, so she shuts off and

that's just what she does. I've asked for us to work on that numerous

times. She's gotten better, but still needs work

I think you know the answer to this. This is a very unhealthy way to live, both for her and you.

 

There's always some form of conflict in life, which everyone needs to learn to address.

 

Is she in therapy?

Adunaphel Established Member

Adunaphel

Posted
Posted

I might give someone the silent treatment in two cases:

- I am dealing with someone who is trying to pick up a fight with me by criticizing me, acting upset, or displaying aggressivity with words, and the context does not allow me to just walk away.

- I am hurt and upset, to the point where my relationship with the person might get seriously damaged and never be the same again.

 

Other times I might get silent after a fight because I am hurt, but as in such case I would be more than happy to resume the talking (possibly in a more constructive way) if the other person looked willing to talk again, I do not think it could be considered silent treatment.

 

I guess my original point was to ask yourself what you're doing to piss her off to that degree. Yeah, if someone just goes quiet without you knowing why and just tortures you, that's nonsense. But that doesn't sound like what your wife does. Maybe it's stuff she has re-hashed with you and she shouldn't have to explain it over and over again. It might be time to look at what you're doing to get her that angry.

 

As far as how she 'goes all out on how much she cares about' you, that's exactly the reason why she has intense reactions. When we really love someone, they can push our buttons faster than anyone because we have a lot more at stake with them than anyone else.

I agree with Angel1111 here.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...