Let's turn the whole porn thing around

[manugeorge]

JackJack, I tend to agree with what you said which is that, if Porn is unimportant and just a mere visual aid as many men claim, then it shouldn't be hard to just give it up if their SO has a problem with it. Afterall, if it no big deal and there is no addiction issues, then why not just drop it to make their women happy?.

 

But I think many men don't give it up because of that same fact... it's no big deal! They can't reason/empathize with their women's insecurity concerning the issue. If it's no big deal to them(the men), they rationalize that it automatically shouldn't be an issue to their SO and it shouldn't be something to fuss and cry over. Afterall, it's not an addiction and it doesn't stop them from being intimate with their SO.

 

They view it as a trivial indulgence like one would have a glass of wine with dinner, watch a few playoff games, or go out for an afternoon of golfing with the guys. Men enjoy these activties and their women are not involved in it. Asking them to drop it to make their women happy seems like an unreasonable demand even though their livelyhood is not necessarily dependent upon them enjoying these activities.

 

Perhaps, some men also see it as a control issue and they don't want to give in to what they view as frivolous demands from their SO because no man wants to be controlled. Perhaps he's thinking, if I give up porn, what else is she going to ask me to give up, my friends? my job? TV? and exactly where are the demands going to stop? Before he knows it, he can't enjoy anything at all because it hurts her feelings.

 

If you can't LOGICALLY convince him that it's really hurting your feelings and why, then you will have a hard time getting him to stop using porn.

[JackJack]

JackJack, I tend to agree with what you said which is that, if Porn is unimportant and just a mere visual aid as many men claim, then it shouldn't be hard to just give it up if their SO has a problem with it. Afterall, if it no big deal and there is no addiction issues, then why not just drop it to make their women happy?.

 

But I think many men don't give it up because of that same fact... it's no big deal! They can't reason/empathize with their women's insecurity concerning the issue. If it's no big deal to them(the men), they rationalize that it automatically shouldn't be an issue to their SO and it shouldn't be something to fuss and cry over. Afterall, it's not an addiction and it doesn't stop them from being intimate with their SO.

 

They view it as a trivial indulgence like one would have a glass of wine with dinner, watch a few playoff games, or go out for an afternoon of golfing with the guys. Men enjoy these activties and their women are not involved in it. Asking them to drop it to make their women happy seems like an unreasonable demand even though their livelyhood is not necessarily dependent upon them enjoying these activities.

 

Perhaps, some men also see it as a control issue and they don't want to give in to what they view as frivolous demands from their SO because no man wants to be controlled. Perhaps he's thinking, if I give up porn, what else is she going to ask me to give up, my friends? my job? TV? and exactly where are the demands going to stop? Before he knows it, he can't enjoy anything at all because it hurts her feelings.

 

If you can't LOGICALLY convince him that it's really hurting your feelings and why, then you will have a hard time getting him to stop using porn.

 

I completely get what you're saying. I think people have to do what works best for them. The problem between two people with that though, is finding out exactly what it is that will or will not work for them both.

 

Compromise is a good start, but for some people there is no inbetween, its all or nothing. If that's the case then its best to end it and hopefully get involved with someone who shares the same views on certain issues.

[Jersey Shortie]

Do you think part of it is, you already have your mind made up that ALL men are like this, to begin with, so you have that wall up to where you can't let it down just a little to possibly find out wheather they are or not?

 

I don't know. Maybe a little. I unfortunetly do think most men are a certain way. I know I have walls up but those are hard to break through when most of the men you've had experience with have in some way taught you to put those walls up.

 

 

But I think many men don't give it up because of that same fact... it's no big deal!

 

When things are not a big deal to people, they don't sit there and defend it. I think that for alot of men, porn is a bigger deal to them then they care to admit to themselves.

 

 

They view it as a trivial indulgence like one would have a glass of wine with dinner, watch a few playoff games, or go out for an afternoon of golfing with the guys.

 

The difference between those acitivites and porn is that porn is based on sex and men/women female relations, his fantasies, what he wishes he had, what he likes.. etc etc. That would be like me comparing me stripping to taking ballet. The equation doesn't work the same because of the nature of the variables.

 

 

Perhaps, some men also see it as a control issue and they don't want to give in to what they view as frivolous demands from their SO because no man wants to be controlled. Perhaps he's thinking, if I give up porn, what else is she going to ask me to give up, my friends? my job? TV? and exactly where are the demands going to stop? Before he knows it, he can't enjoy anything at all because it hurts her feelings.

 

I do think it is somewhat a control issue. But there are certain things I give up when I am in a relationship out of respect for my relationship. If he thinks porn is going to lead to more control issues, I guess there is nothing I am allowed to ask of him to do to meet my needs other then the issue of porn.

 

 

If you can't LOGICALLY convince him that it's really hurting your feelings and why, then you will have a hard time getting him to stop using porn.

 

Men are no more logical when it comes to sex and relationships then women are. I'm sorry but men like to think and pride themselves on how logical they are. When it comes to relationships, men are not any more logical. If he wants to go at a problem with it being machanical and mathetical, when it's a problem about a relationship, you aren't going to solve it that way either.

[Walk]

My point was that the male brain is different than the female brain. Males respond to visual . You can send a female a c*** pic and she might be offended ( depending ) . Most males who see pictures or video have a physical response ( head to penis ) in their brains.

 

That was my main point. If most males respond to porn its going to be difficult to change how their brain operates to NOT get stimulated by seeing sexual acts or nudity.

 

I thought you said ealier that you watch and are visually stimulated by porn. Is that not true? So you're telling me that men and women are different and therefore men view porn because biologically they get stimulated by it whereas women do not? Are you transgender now?

 

Most women would be a bit shocked to get unsolicited erotic images sent to them from other people. Probably because we have more concern about rape then men do.. so we might treat erotic images of some guys c*ck as suspect.

 

I don't see any merit in your hypothesis. If you feel only men are visually stimulated, and that explains everything to you, then have at it. I don't agree that it's a valid argument.

[manugeorge]

I thought you said ealier that you watch and are visually stimulated by porn. Is that not true? So you're telling me that men and women are different and therefore men view porn because biologically they get stimulated by it whereas women do not? Are you transgender now?

 

Most women would be a bit shocked to get unsolicited erotic images sent to them from other people. Probably because we have more concern about rape then men do.. so we might treat erotic images of some guys c*ck as suspect.

 

I don't see any merit in your hypothesis. If you feel only men are visually stimulated, and that explains everything to you, then have at it. I don't agree that it's a valid argument.

 

Walk, while some women are indeed visually stimulated by porn, me for example, it is still not nearly on the same level as men.

 

Women get a penis picture and most automatically think eww, because well, our heads/minds just don't view it as something all that arousing. I don't know if that's nature or if we've been socialized that way.

 

Men on the other hand get a picture of boobs and they won't immediately take their eyes away from it, if at all.

 

A man that wants to turn a woman on doesn't strip naked and do a dance, no he brings flowers and candy and takes out the trash. A woman who wants to get a man's attention will not suceed by fixing his car, she will get his attention faster by serving him steak in lingerie or buck naked.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Women and men can both watch and be aroused by porn, but the types of things that turn on a man will be different than the type of thing that turns on women. There is some common ground, but not a whole lot.

 

Porn is marketed differently as well. There are women porn directors out there who focus entirely on what women want to see and what turns them on.

[Walk]

I disagree and I think that there's much evidence to the contrary...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Boys raised as girls find male identity-study

 

Of the 14 raised as girls, ...

 

4 of the 14 declared themselves male between the ages of 7 and 12, before they learned they were born male.

 

Four other children began thinking of themselves as males after being told they were genetically male, at ages ranging from 5 to 18.

 

The remaining six children either regarded themselves as female or, in one case, would not discuss gender issues.

 

The case study concludes that 4 spontaneously switched genders, 4 switched after being told, and 6 kept their current gender. 4 out of 14 "knew" they were boys at early ages.

 

I don't agree with the reasoning they've drawn as a conclusion. When I was 5 I wanted to be a boy too. Boys have far more freedoms then little girls. While my brother was outside playing football my dad was telling me to do the dishes. If my parents had told me I was altered to be a girl, I would've switched in an instant back then.

 

I do agree that there are SOME differences from a biological/chemical stand point. But you aren't convincing me that men and women are different species based solely on biology. When men point out their ability to be visually stimulated, it ignores the role that society played in accepting that type of behavior. Playboy's passed down from father to son, shown in movies as a boy's favorite past time, dorm room posters of naked women. There are women who are also visually stimulated, but a majority of woman have been taught to repress those tendencies.

 

Your entire reason for why porn is vital for the existence of men is based on a study of 14 little boys, 6 of whom stayed women? 4 of those only switched genders after being told. I'm still not convinced. I agree there are differences biologically. I don't see those differences as "The Reason Men Need Porn". Not when that porn is something that has caused his partner to feel emotional distress. I'd be more inclined to accept your point if you simply said "He weighs more and he can knock her across the room". That highlights how biological differences caused the rift in acceptance of porn. But the argument that "Men are visual" = f*ck you wife. Might as well have knocked her across the room.

[RobertLS]

A man that wants to turn a woman on doesn't strip naked and do a dance, no he brings flowers and candy and takes out the trash. A woman who wants to get a man's attention will not suceed by fixing his car, she will get his attention faster by serving him steak in lingerie or buck naked.

 

I don't know, ..... I think I'd get my wife's attention much quicker by serving HER steak in lingerie.

[Walk]

Walk, while some women are indeed visually stimulated by porn, me for example, it is still not nearly on the same level as men.

I do NOT agree with that. YOU may not get as turned on, but then I have to question why that is. It could be due to the disgusting fat hairy man playing the part of poker in the porn flick. I don't entirely know how I would test this accurately, but I'm adament that a man does not become 'more' turned on by good porn then a woman.

 

Women get a penis picture and most automatically think eww, because well, our heads/minds just don't view it as something all that arousing. I don't know if that's nature or if we've been socialized that way.

So why do you think it's that way? Can you look at porn, or masturbate without feeling guilty? Are you able to feel safe recieving erotic images without wondering what pervert stalker sent it to you?

 

A man that wants to turn a woman on doesn't strip naked and do a dance, no he brings flowers and candy and takes out the trash. A woman who wants to get a man's attention will not suceed by fixing his car, she will get his attention faster by serving him steak in lingerie or buck naked.

Food and flowers do NOT turn me on. When's the last time you went to dinner and got wet when the appetizer was set down in front of you? Are you telling me that when your SO takes out the trash he comes back in to see you rubbing yourself vigorously until you come?

 

You're telling me you squinch your eyes shut the entire time you have sex and think of him fixing your car?

 

I get turned on by seeing my H in his buck naked gloriousness, rubbing himself.

[manugeorge]

I do NOT agree with that. YOU may not get as turned on, but then I have to question why that is. It could be due to the disgusting fat hairy man playing the part of poker in the porn flick. I don't entirely know how I would test this accurately, but I'm adament that a man does not become 'more' turned on by good porn then a woman..

 

 

Well, frankly it's because a penis in all its naked glory just doesn't get me wet, pardon my crudeness. I really don't know why that is. Maybe because a man's body is just not that attention grabbing. I mean what do they have to really work with? penis, perhaps abs, muscles, m'eh. Looking at that alone will not make many women weak in the knees. But if he is a handsome hunk of a man who professes undying love, picks her flowers and sends it to her at work, tells her she's the most beautiful creature he's ever laid eyes on. Calls her often, emails and texts just to say, I'm thinking about you or I miss you. Takes out the trash, remembers we are out of milk and gets some on his way home without being told. Lets her sleep in while he gets up to get the kids ready for school, etc etc. Yes, all of those things, AND his naked body will arouse women.

 

 

For women, sex starts in the head, we are emotional beings and our emotions and sexual energy are interconnected. You have to make love to a woman's mind before she will let you in her body. That is how we are wired.

 

So why do you think it's that way? Can you look at porn, or masturbate without feeling guilty? Are you able to feel safe recieving erotic images without wondering what pervert stalker sent it to you?.

 

 

I do watch porn and masturbate without guilt but what arouses me about porn is the sex itself not the people engaging in sex. As long as they are not butt fugly or gross looking, I don't need perfect bodies to be aroused. It's the kissing, the joining of the two bodies that excite me, not what the man looks like. I don't even look at their faces.

 

 

Food and flowers do NOT turn me on. When's the last time you went to dinner and got wet when the appetizer was set down in front of you? Are you telling me that when your SO takes out the trash he comes back in to see you rubbing yourself vigorously until you come?

 

Food and flowers may not turn you on but the cumulation of his actions, all his sweetness is what makes you more readily receptive of his advances when it is time for sex. It is what he does that makes him sexy not so much what he looks like. A woman finds it hard to sleep with a man she's pissed off at. Many men will have sex with you even when they are mad at you. The penis can hardly resist a womanly body.

 

You see these gorgeous woman with men that are not aethestically pleasing. Women are more forgiving of a man's physical imperfections. We don't need you to be 6" tall and trim to date you. Men on the other hand are less forgiving.

[c-riouz]

I agree JS, men are not more logical. This is proven solely by the fact that man go to pieces and switch into the drooling caveman-mode whenever they see a pair of t*** Pathetic.

 

It seems from reading these threads that men overall think that women should get over it and realize that "it's not about them", and women think that it is a reflection on the relationship. Either way, taking into account that men see it as harmless, and women see it as hurtful, the basic reality is that it affects the intimacy of any relationship it touches regardless because it cannot be ignored that when the relationship is fraught with hurt, pain and suffering...that porn is not just "her issue", but that it's both partner's business. If men continue to salve their egos and libidos with "the man's right to porn" hard line, then they will eventually be alone, single and free to partake of this hobby at their leisure, with no feelings of guilt or judgement.

 

If however, they realize that the instant gratification that is so prevalent and easily availble to them will actually do long term damage to the intimacy of the relationship, then they should be willing to do their part for the relationship and not just cop out with the usual "it's just the woman's self-esteem issue". A woman's self-esteem issue is the mans issue as well - if he truly cares about the woman. And even if it really is a self-esteem issue, why would a man knowingly contribute to the problem instead of devoting the time and energy to helping his SO to feel better and deal with her issue, no matter how unreasonable it might seem to HIM? A man can't give it up just in order to help his wife and marriage? I just don't understand the priority it takes above what is really important.

 

Yes, men and women are wired differently. But the bottom line is finding a way to make the other person happy, while not hurting them. Does it "hurt" men to abstain from ogling the genitals of hordes of women if it makes the woman they love unhappy? Sacrifice is a part of life. We each sacrifice things we want, and even sometimes need, for the benefit and well-being of another. It's called self control. It's called respect. Men can go on choosing to ignore the effect porn has on what I would cautiously say is "the majority" of women, or they can at least make an attempt to use a bit of self control and introspection in trying to examine why they repeatedly hurt the one person with whom they should care most about.

 

If they aren't willing to sacrifice this guilty pleasure for the sake of the relationship, then be a man and move on and find someone who thinks it's cool too...maybe even someone who might star in one of the home movies/porn videos you like to watch...unless of course, you're a hypocrite and you don't want an amateur/porn star for a wife or girlfriend. Go on, admit it...you probably don't want thousands of strange men seeing your girl/wife/daughter spreading their legs on the internet, do you? ... but it's okay if YOU watch someone else's girl/wife/daughter, right?

[Walk]

Originally Posted by Walk

I do NOT agree with that. YOU may not get as turned on, ....but I'm adament that a man does not become 'more' turned on by good porn then a woman..

Originally Posted by manugeorge

 

... if he is a handsome hunk of a man who professes undying love, picks her flowers ..., tells her she's the most beautiful creature .... all of those things, AND his naked body will arouse women.

 

For women, sex starts in the head, we are emotional beings and our emotions and sexual energy are interconnected. You have to make love to a woman's mind before she will let you in her body. That is how we are wired.

 

I do watch porn and masturbate without guilt but what arouses me about porn is the sex itself not the people engaging in sex.

 

....all his sweetness is what makes you more readily receptive of his advances when it is time for sex.

 

First you say sex is purely an emotional connection. You have to have emotion and naked then you can be aroused. Then you contradict that by saying porn sex arouses you (but you don't look at the faces). So obviously it isn't ALL about how lovely dovey a guy is. It can be just visual stimulation. I don't feel you're being honest about what arouses you.

 

When you're masturbating, and it's all about you.. What fantasy runs through your head that gets you turned on? Is it all the time lovely dovey, he's bringing you flowers and taking out the trash... or do you sometimes fantasize about hard core, rauncy sex? You may be in the minority here and only fantasize about the mushy romantic sex... but if you ever have a chance pick up a copy of one of Nancy Friday's book. There's some disturbing female fantasies out there that have NOTHING to do with Mr. Lovey dovey or an emotional connection. I know I'm not the ONLY woman out there who has some dirty sex fantasies, and they have no correlation to a man being romantic, loving, tender, etc. It's sometimes just sex and release... not romance and relationships.

 

You have got to explain "Receptive to his advances"?

[manugeorge]

First you say sex is purely an emotional connection. You have to have emotion and naked then you can be aroused. Then you contradict that by saying porn sex arouses you (but you don't look at the faces). So obviously it isn't ALL about how lovely dovey a guy is. It can be just visual stimulation. I don't feel you're being honest about what arouses you.

 

When you're masturbating, and it's all about you.. What fantasy runs through your head that gets you turned on? Is it all the time lovely dovey, he's bringing you flowers and taking out the trash... or do you sometimes fantasize about hard core, rauncy sex? You may be in the minority here and only fantasize about the mushy romantic sex... but if you ever have a chance pick up a copy of one of Nancy Friday's book. There's some disturbing female fantasies out there that have NOTHING to do with Mr. Lovey dovey or an emotional connection. I know I'm not the ONLY woman out there who has some dirty sex fantasies, and they have no correlation to a man being romantic, loving, tender, etc. It's sometimes just sex and release... not romance and relationships.

 

You have got to explain "Receptive to his advances"?

 

Actually I wasn't arguing that women can't be visually stimulated, ofcourse they can but not nearly as much as men, that is a fact, not an or my opinion.

 

Porn arouses me when I watch it but the times I watch it is only when I accidentally stumble on it. Maybe I click on something that takes me to a website. I don't get on my computer with the intention of watching porn. I don't own a tape nor do I have anything downloaded. Sex really doesn't occur to me all that much unlike many men who will tell you they spend a majority part of their day thinking about sex.

 

Maybe I am in the minority, I like romantic sex and that is what turns me on even when I masturbate. The teasing, kissing and carressing and soft touches is what I fantasize about, not some guy pounding away nonstop. Even with porn, I prefer the ones where there is some kind of story line, not just some guy showing up at your door asking if you called the plumber. The kind of porn I most enjoy is one with real life couples who put a video camera in their room. There is something loving and tender about that and it turns me on.

 

There are always exceptions to the rule, not all women like flowers or romance and not all men indulge in porn but on average both genders have more propensity to gravitate towards certain things.

 

There is a reason why raunchy porn is not marketed towards women but romantic novels are. Strip clubs designated for women akin to Chippendales show are few and far between but strip joints for men are on every corner. There is a reason for that.

[Mr. Lucky]

Your entire reason for why porn is vital for the existence of men is based on a study of 14 little boys, 6 of whom stayed women? 4 of those only switched genders after being told. I'm still not convinced. I agree there are differences biologically. I don't see those differences as "The Reason Men Need Porn".

And your entire reason is...your opinion ??? I could post studies and cite articles until the cows come home, but it comes down to this - if nurture is the key, why didn't most or all of the 14 mis-assigned males remain female? They had been raised as girls, some well into their teens. The answer is simple, in ways both subtle and overt, men and women's brains are different. And one way that difference manifests itself is in the things they respond and react to.

 

I'm not surprised that some of the female posters, when discussing porn, fantasizing or "mental control", start sentences with "I don't agree with ..." or "I don't understand how..." or "I don't feel that...". No sh*t!!! They're not men. I wouldn't expect many of them to feel or react the same way. Many women cry at weddings, a response that puzzles me as a man. Vive la difference.

 

These real differences are not "The Reason Men Need Porn". However, they do explain "The Reason Men Like Porn...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Lovelybird]

Porn is so easy to access today, is because it is Satan's plan. Satan doesn't want couples have real intimate relationship. men who watch porn are happily embracing Satan's plan, and make their lives miserable and no fruits.

 

Watching porn can improve your intimacy with your wife? No

Watching porn can build up characters in you? No

Watching porn can make you spiritually vivid? No, and No

Watching porn can improve your life in general? ha, laughable, NO

Watching porn can destroy your intimate relationship with your wife? yes

Watching porn can deteriorate your characters? yes

Watching porn can make you feel guilt and despise yourself? for those who still have clear conscience, Yes

Watching porn can make you pick up some disgusting perversions in bedroom and try those with your wife even that hurts her? yes

Watching porn can make you more selfish, more about ME? yes

Watching porn can make your marriage bed defiled? yes

 

So why do you still love to watch porn? quite not make sense IMO

[Mary3]

For every man that's not upfront about his porn usage, there's a woman that hears a prospective BF say "I use it every once in a while" and says to herself "I don't like that, but I'll fix that in him later". I'm not sure how upfront either gender is in approaching this kind of issue head on...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Yes Mr. Lucky there is always going to be a problem when you come into a relationship and try to change things . Agree 100% with you.

[Lovelybird]

Yes Mr. Lucky there is always going to be a problem when you come into a relationship and try to change things . Agree 100% with you.

not true IMO

 

if the change is good change, then it will benefit both party and their union. everyone need to grow, and change, for better, not for worse

 

The changes aren't good is the changes that one party wants to change another's habit that don't involve breaking moral rules. such as if he loves to golf, if you want to change him, then it is not good. As for the habits that break moral rules, if you don't seek method to change that, then you reap negative result. just see cases in this thread, some women tolerate porns when they are young, but later they reap bitterness, hatred toward hb, resentment, and failed marriage. Fake peace can get you nowhere

 

everyone should compromise in a relationship, but never compromise to devils (devils mean not human, but wrong ideas and wrong belief), compromise to devils only get you to a dark place

[Mary3]

I thought you said ealier that you watch and are visually stimulated by porn. Is that not true? So you're telling me that men and women are different and therefore men view porn because biologically they get stimulated by it whereas women do not? Are you transgender now?

 

Most women would be a bit shocked to get unsolicited erotic images sent to them from other people. Probably because we have more concern about rape then men do.. so we might treat erotic images of some guys c*ck as suspect.

 

I don't see any merit in your hypothesis. If you feel only men are visually stimulated, and that explains everything to you, then have at it. I don't agree that it's a valid argument.

 

Yes, I said I watch Porn and it visually stimulates me. Even audio stimulates me. Emails can stimulate me. Phone talk can stimulate me. Being in a room with a handsome man who is interested can stimulate me. The point is : Masterbation is the mental thinking going on from the stimulation.

 

Actually most women detest getting c*** pics UNLESS they specifically ask for a c*** pic. I don't want an unsolicited one.

I would rather see one in real life. Do seeing c*** being sucked stimulate me in videos. ? Yes . Do pictures do much ? Nope. Does seeing a man perform cunnilingus stimulate me in video ? Yes . Picture of it , not much.

 

Let me correct myself. Not all women are stimulated by videos. I am stimulated by videos. More men are stimulated by videos than women .

 

Last I checked I had all female plumbing and have not transgendered

[Lovelybird]

My question in general (not aimed at any one person) would be: why are women so threatened by other women, even in the absence of any real threat?

you are seriously in denial

 

It is their growing lust for new, for more young, for more beautiful make us shudder. you *think* their love for porn won't affect their love life, that is a wishful thinking. Otherwise there aren't so many porn addicts ruined their relationships and lives.

Their love lives cannot be good, how can. Their lives prosper only when their souls prosper

 

A man who lust after other younger women, more beautiful women, his lust grows

A man who care about what his wife feels, put focus on real connection, his love grows

 

which man we trust more? of course the later

[LucreziaBorgia]

you are seriously in denial

 

It is their growing lust for new, for more young, for more beautiful make us shudder. you *think* their love for porn won't affect their love life, that is a wishful thinking. Otherwise there aren't so many porn addicts ruined their relationships and lives.

Their love lives cannot be good, how can. Their lives prosper only when their souls prosper

 

A man who lust after other younger women, more beautiful women, his lust grows

A man who care about what his wife feels, put focus on real connection, his love grows

 

which man we trust more? of course the later

 

Not all men who watch porn are porn addicts, nor do they lust for other women. Appreciating the female form, and using it as a visual aid for masturbation doesn't mean that man would rather have that than his wife, nor does it speak to any connection he has with his wife. It says nothing more than the fact that he prefers to use visual aids when jerking off. Its that simple.

 

Plenty of men will tell you that, but it does not appear that many people want to listen to what a man has to say. It all seems to come down to how women wished men were, rather than how men really are. No wonder men don't share their emotions too easily. Look at what happens when they share something as simple as how their sexuality works!

[Walk]

And your entire reason is...your opinion ??? I could post studies and cite articles until the cows come home, but it comes down to this - if nurture is the key, why didn't most or all of the 14 mis-assigned males remain female? They had been raised as girls, some well into their teens. The answer is simple, in ways both subtle and overt, men and women's brains are different. And one way that difference manifests itself is in the things they respond and react to.

It specifically says "research suggests". It does not rule out any other factors that may have contributed. It "suggests" a link but does not explore other areas that may have influenced those 14 children.

 

If it's completley biological, then why didn't ALL of the boys revert back to being male? Yes, the study suggests a 57% rate of these specific girl children prefer to be boys. But it was 57%.. not 80%, not 90%.

 

These real differences are not "The Reason Men Need Porn". However, they do explain "The Reason Men Like Porn...

 

I wasn't arguing why men Like porn. I'm arguing that men are using reasons such as "biological differences" as an argument to convince women that his porn use is necessary even if she states it bothers her. I'm saying "biology" isn't a statement that explains why a man would use porn to the detriment of his SO.

 

Whatever... you like porn. Have at it. I like porn too. But the way men use "I'm male and can view porn even if it hurts my gf/wife". That's a non-argument. It's dismissive. It sweeps the others parties concerns under the rug and ignores it. I don't feel you made a valid argument for why men view porn as their basic right even if it creates pain in their SO. And I don't feel the instinctual/biological differences are great enough to justify causing pain in others. Several female posters brought up ways in which they have felt hurt by an SOs porn usage, yet those are dismissed as extenuating circumstances. If this is the case, then why do so many have similiar stories? Are there hordes of closed-minded fanatics running amoke distorting scenarios of men who are misunderstood porn "likers"? If men simply like, but have no need, to watch porn.. then why when a woman asks them to stop he can't? If presented with the argument that men are visual creatures, they crave variety, then why wouldn't it occur to a spouse that perhaps no matter how hard they try they will never be able to compare sexually to porn once with a man past the 6 mnth point? They are old and boring after that, tossed out like yesterdays rubbish. New porn so readily available to fill the gap. Why should this not bother a woman? And after all this.. the argument for pro-porn is the word "Biological". Seems rather... less convincing then I was looking for. And I feel less accepting of my SOs need (oh wait, you said it's only a "like") to wack off to other women then I did prior to this debate.

 

I'll agree to disagree with you on this one. I'm out.

[Mary3]

It specifically says "research suggests". It does not rule out any other factors that may have contributed. It "suggests" a link but does not explore other areas that may have influenced those 14 children.

 

If it's completley biological, then why didn't ALL of the boys revert back to being male? Yes, the study suggests a 57% rate of these specific girl children prefer to be boys. But it was 57%.. not 80%, not 90%.

 

 

 

I wasn't arguing why men Like porn. I'm arguing that men are using reasons such as "biological differences" as an argument to convince women that his porn use is necessary even if she states it bothers her. I'm saying "biology" isn't a statement that explains why a man would use porn to the detriment of his SO.

 

Whatever... you like porn. Have at it. I like porn too. But the way men use "I'm male and can view porn even if it hurts my gf/wife". That's a non-argument. It's dismissive. It sweeps the others parties concerns under the rug and ignores it. I don't feel you made a valid argument for why men view porn as their basic right even if it creates pain in their SO. And I don't feel the instinctual/biological differences are great enough to justify causing pain in others. Several female posters brought up ways in which they have felt hurt by an SOs porn usage, yet those are dismissed as extenuating circumstances. If this is the case, then why do so many have similiar stories? Are there hordes of closed-minded fanatics running amoke distorting scenarios of men who are misunderstood porn "likers"? If men simply like, but have no need, to watch porn.. then why when a woman asks them to stop he can't? If presented with the argument that men are visual creatures, they crave variety, then why wouldn't it occur to a spouse that perhaps no matter how hard they try they will never be able to compare sexually to porn once with a man past the 6 mnth point? They are old and boring after that, tossed out like yesterdays rubbish. New porn so readily available to fill the gap. Why should this not bother a woman? And after all this.. the argument for pro-porn is the word "Biological". Seems rather... less convincing then I was looking for. And I feel less accepting of my SOs need (oh wait, you said it's only a "like") to wack off to other women then I did prior to this debate.

 

I'll agree to disagree with you on this one. I'm out.

 

The truth is : Men like the constant newness of newer stimulation. And so do I. Thats why after one video watching over and over , he seeks out a new one. The stimulation begins anew again. He will always seek out the newer . Think about your video CD collection . You have 200 videos ( not porn ) after viewing all videos you might feel like going to Blockbuster and picking up a new one because you viewed all the other videos.

 

Actually even if I have a new bf I am still going to view Porn. He can satisfy me but the videos are my own private time. I am sure more males here might relate to coming home and watching a naughty video when the wife is at work. He is relaxing . He in private time. He is getting self release. He could choose to do the release other ways if he were a dishonorable man. Like release with the neighbor or some Adult sex finder sites . But he does not. There is no offense taken that the wife looks better or worse and that causes some pull towards Porn. The truth is, even hot looking wives who get regular sex might still have a hubby viewing Porn.

[Mr. Lucky]

It all seems to come down to how women wished men were, rather than how men really are.

Amazing how you've reduced this whole discussion to one coherent sentence! Well said .

 

No wonder men don't share their emotions too easily. Look at what happens when they share something as simple as how their sexuality works!

I think both sexes can be guilty of saying "Tell me what you really think" and then being less than thrilled with the answer ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Lovelybird]

It all seems to come down to how women wished men were, rather than how men really are. !

There are many men who don't watch porn, then they aren't real man? if a man feel like kill people and cheat with OW, then you just let him do that in order to let him be real him, and happily understanding? If man wants to have several women, do you suggest that just let them be?

 

A man is visual, I understand that. But there are boundaries, and too much is too much. Yes, human has lust, but should they indulge in lust in price of other human's well being? Lust is like a dog, love is like a dog, which one you feed most will grow fat and big, and in the end, lust will fight over love, love is just gone, especially the lust doesn't concern his wife or anything, the lust is for other women. The lust is a monster, the more you feed it, the more hunger it becomes

 

and consider those porn stars in the porn, they paid price: humanity and dignity. Consuming humanity just isn't right. Some women are manipulated to do that, even if they wanted to do that, a decent person shouldn't take advantage of that. It is a bad trend that people view sacred sex as cheap lustful things, and porn made this trend become possible.

 

seems you are quite understanding, but it isn't understanding, it is misunderstanding, can you image a person is so understanding that her understanding harm both self and others? Man isn't enemy, porn is, for both man and woman, but some men who watch porn didn't figure this out yet

 

anything is against moral codes of universe, it will not end good. And porn is one of those that is against moral codes, severely. People are too short sighted, only think instant satisfaction, but instant satisfaction often isn't good.

 

Porn isolates the viewer himself from the human emotions, feelings and other humans; the viewer doesn't have to build up a relationship to get off, seems easy, but more isolation, invisible wall build up, how can a person who watch porn and don't care about the human being in it relate to other human beings? The more they consume humanity, the more they isolate themselve from others, it is very subtle. Porn can create and deepen loneliness, why? it is simple, a person who treat others indecently will harm himself and isolate himself more. the more he is isolated, the more he resort to porn which has no life.

 

Do they care about those porn stars? can they let their daughters to do that? their wives, their sisters? If they cannot let that happen to their loved ones, then why they can be indeferent to other women? and just view them as sex object?

 

In fact, any healthy heart will cry out when it sees women in porn are treated like that. and You are saying porn watching is what real man do?

 

God made something beautiful, sexual desire for husband to their wives, and devil came along and twist it into something ugly --lust and lust for other women, for younger women, for more women

[Mr. Lucky]

Whatever... you like porn. Have at it. I like porn too. But the way men use "I'm male and can view porn even if it hurts my gf/wife". That's a non-argument. It's dismissive. It sweeps the others parties concerns under the rug and ignores it. I don't feel you made a valid argument for why men view porn as their basic right even if it creates pain in their SO. And I don't feel the instinctual/biological differences are great enough to justify causing pain in others. Several female posters brought up ways in which they have felt hurt by an SOs porn usage, yet those are dismissed as extenuating circumstances. If this is the case, then why do so many have similiar stories? Are there hordes of closed-minded fanatics running amoke distorting scenarios of men who are misunderstood porn "likers"? If men simply like, but have no need, to watch porn.. then why when a woman asks them to stop he can't? If presented with the argument that men are visual creatures, they crave variety, then why wouldn't it occur to a spouse that perhaps no matter how hard they try they will never be able to compare sexually to porn once with a man past the 6 mnth point? They are old and boring after that, tossed out like yesterdays rubbish. New porn so readily available to fill the gap. Why should this not bother a woman? And after all this.. the argument for pro-porn is the word "Biological". Seems rather... less convincing then I was looking for. And I feel less accepting of my SOs need (oh wait, you said it's only a "like") to wack off to other women then I did prior to this debate.

 

I'll agree to disagree with you on this one. I'm out.

 

You raise some very valid points and, if I didn't understand it before, reading some of the posts here reinforces how rampant use of porn can be one of many destructive forces in a relationship. My point regarding the biological forces involved is also part of an ongoing broader discussion I've been having with Jersey regarding the male mind (sick, twisted pit of depravity that it is ), fantasy and "mental control or adultery". Porn is just one part of that discussion...

 

Mr. Lucky