Jersey Shortie Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Tell that to all the women here that are hurt about the lack of control alot of men use when it comes to such things.
Mary3 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Not to be rude, but this post is extremely ignorant. Addicts cannot be seduced away from their addiction. It does not matter how hot, kinky, or available the woman is of a sex addict - he will not be able to just break his addiction. This post was based on the fact that the previous poster was feeling like the Porn was more important than her. Not all persons who view Porn are sex addicts. I would venture to say that many who view porn have healthy sex drives. Men and Women who view it. I state again Porn is nothing to be threatened about. Its an extra stimulus for those who are : Single Married and bored of the same ol' thing Couples who are not married and seek the extra stimulus. Sex addicts fall into a totally different category. We are not conveinantly lumping in sex addicts with those who watch Porn. The sex addiction speech belongs on a different Post.
Mary3 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 God.................. You can beat this to death with a stick but Men will always love Porn. Women too
Mary3 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Pro-porn, are you suggesting that all men aren't capable of being faithful? that they always go for better looking, and younger ones? what a sad thing A manly man now is defined as a "porn watcher (mental adulter)"? the world must be seriously wrong I think a manly man is Faithful Loving Morally strong yet compassionate Men who are watching Porn ARE being faithful unless you have some evidence to show that men who watch Porn are cheating ? Mental Adulterer ? Would that be the same as the co worker who lusts after another one ? This subject will post for another 50 years and you will always get the same result. Men are visual . Men love Porn.
Mary3 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Regarding the poster who said the women in the Porn films are sexy/ hot / thin. ....Not true . There are many sizes of women . From BBW's to MILFS to much older women. There are obese and skinny. Have you watched much Porn lately ? Theres alot of different things out there lately including homemade amatuer Porn and those ladies are having sex with their husbands...go figure...
Mr. Lucky Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Tell that to all the women here that are hurt about the lack of control alot of men use when it comes to such things. All five of them ? Mr. Lucky
c-riouz Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 All five of them ? Weird that you make fun of the women who are hurt by it. I wonder if you you'd do the same thing if your wife said that she was hurt by porn. Would you still laugh it off and mock her for it and continue to watch? Tells alot about your previously stated "actions define a man"....
stoopid_guy Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Men like to look at women. I'm not a shopper, but will go to the mall with my wife and daughter, and enjoy just watching women in all their wonderful shapes and sizes while on bag-carrying duty. I like the way they look, I like the way they move, I like the way they sound. Am I going to try to seduce them? Of course not, it's just harmless entertainment. It's understandable why the ladies who have had relationships damaged by porn addiction are so against it, just like someone who has live with an alcoholic might be against having ANY booze at all around. It's understandable, but it's not healthy or realistic. Confidence is the single most attractive thing a woman can have. One of the most exciting aspects of porn is seeing women confident in their sexuality and enjoying it. Some women could learn from that.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Not all persons who view Porn are sex addicts. I would venture to say that many who view porn have healthy sex drives. Men and Women who view it. I'd venture to say that men, on some level that they don't even want to admit to, are infact addicted to porn. I wonder how many men could put it down and not look at it. Orgasms are a positive reinforcer to a habit. And if a man has been doing it since he was 15, that's a pretty big addiction. Regarding the poster who said the women in the Porn films are sexy/ hot / thin. ....Not true . There are many sizes of women . From BBW's to MILFS to much older women. There are obese and skinny. True, but what do you think makes up the majority of porn? Perfect bodied 20 year olds or milfs, bbw's...etc etc etc.... Weird that you make fun of the women who are hurt by it. Yes, that was rather insenitive. Men like to look at women. I'm not a shopper, but will go to the mall with my wife and daughter, and enjoy just watching women in all their wonderful shapes and sizes while on bag-carrying duty. That's special, you are eye-balling other women when you are out with yuor daughter and wife. I love being out shopping and watching a man look at me when he is with his family. It makes me think what a wonderful, loyal man they must have that really appreicates and values his family. This is why I don't go shopping with my boyfriend. Who wants to be out with a man that is more interested in all the other women around him. that isn't spending time together. That's him getting fantasy material for later while you are on the sidelines. Confidence is the single most attractive thing a woman can have. One of the most exciting aspects of porn is seeing women confident in their sexuality and enjoying it. Some women could learn from that. Perhaps if more men spent time being attentive and creating a place that made a woman feel confident in her sexuality with him and in their relationship, women wouldn't need to try to learn it from porn. I think men shoot themselves in the foot with this. You want your woman to be more confident so you look at images of super imposed idealistic women having crazy sex? How does tha tmake a woman feel more confident and secure with her man? What you are asking is a completely unrealistic way to go about it. I understand and think it's 100% okay that men like confident women. But you are asking that women learn to be confident from a medium that is about a very limited ideal of female beauty that most women don't meet and a limited perception of female sexuality that men wish was true. Do men really want women to be more confident in themselves or do men want women to act more like the porn ideal fantasy of what men wished women were like? And not who real wome nreally are in their sexuality sometimes?
Mr. Lucky Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Weird that you make fun of the women who are hurt by it. I wonder if you you'd do the same thing if your wife said that she was hurt by porn. Would you still laugh it off and mock her for it and continue to watch? Tells alot about your previously stated "actions define a man".... And stranger still that you'd resort to a personal attack regarding a comment that wasn't directed to you. I was teasing Jersey about what I see as her tendency to see things in absolutes - she likes to post about "all" men and "all" women as though there were qualities and faults that they "all" share. You are right about one thing - I do tend to see humor in just about everything. Sorry if I stepped on your toes in doing so ... Mr. Lucky
Mr. Lucky Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I was teasing Jersey about what I see as her tendency to see things in absolutes - she likes to post about "all" men and "all" women as though there were qualities and faults that they "all" share. I'd venture to say that men, on some level that they don't even want to admit to, are infact addicted to porn. I rest my case ... Mr. Lucky
grogster Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I rest my case ... Mr. Lucky You should have rested abot 60 posts ago. Still, it's amusing to read their rants. Time to go watch some porn!
Jersey Shortie Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 You should have rested abot 60 posts ago. Still, it's amusing to read their rants. Time to go watch some porn! I know you find that kind of comment funny but it's rather unneccasry. More then anything, it would be nice to have male understanding because believe it or not, we love men and want them to love us. Instead you choose to mock us for naturally having issues with something like porn that is male dominated and doesn't really give the best impression of women.
Mr. Lucky Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 This is why I don't go shopping with my boyfriend. Who wants to be out with a man that is more interested in all the other women around him. that isn't spending time together. That's him getting fantasy material for later while you are on the sidelines. Do you avoid all settings where there will be other women around ? Other than camping in the wilderness, I'm not sure what activities would be left... Mr. Lucky
PandorasBox Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I know you find that kind of comment funny but it's rather unneccasry. More then anything, it would be nice to have male understanding because believe it or not, we love men and want them to love us. Instead you choose to mock us for naturally having issues with something like porn that is male dominated and doesn't really give the best impression of women. I will say I notice this sometimes to in posts about porn. It does seem that those who don't care for it or try to tell their side of WHY they don't etc, it seems they do get mocked for feeling that way, more so, than those who do like it and give their side.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Do you avoid all settings where there will be other women around ? Other than camping in the wilderness, I'm not sure what activities would be left... Mr. Lucky Naaah, there is just something creepy about a grown man liking to go to the mall to watch the women. Especially since there are probably also alot of young girls there too. If men valued what they had, they wouldn't always be checking out other options. And when I see a man with his family looking at me, I think I loose a little more hope that men care about women.
Mr. Lucky Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Jersey (or anyone): Do you think there are ANY instances where porn use is appropriate? Healthy young guy (or girl) not in a relationship? Man locked up in a prison cell? Mr. Lucky
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 1. More then anything, it would be nice to have male understanding because believe it or not, we love men and want them to love us. 2. Instead you choose to mock us for naturally having issues with something like porn that is male dominated and doesn't really give the best impression of women. 1. Before you can love a man, you have to understand him. It does not appear that you have a clear understanding of how men think or how their brains work in terms of visual stimuli. You twisted Stoopid-guy's words from an appreciation of the female form in general to him somehow choosing these other women over his family. That type of thinking won't get you anywhere. A man who notices and appreciates a good looking woman isn't doing so because he is dissatisfied with what he has, or is 'choosing' that over what he has. He does it because he is a MAN. Men are visual. Incoming stimuli affects the brain a certain way. Period. It has nothing to do with choosing or comparing. Men do love us. That does not mean that they shut entire parts of their brains down in order to accommodate that. Their brains continue to work how they work, and the love they have for us is still genuine. I'm not sure why you have this 'either/or' idea when it comes to this. That just isn't the case. 2. I don't begrudge you your issues, but some of the things you say about men leave them feeling unfairly judged and mocked too. It is a reaction, rather than a malicious thing I think.
soserious1 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Do you avoid all settings where there will be other women around ? Other than camping in the wilderness, I'm not sure what activities would be left... Mr. Lucky My ex ogled women in public to the point at times that he'd make open comments or he'd stop speaking in mid-sentence.. all conversation ceasing as his eyes followed the woman he was checking out. At first I'd try to be cheerful and continue speaking letting him rejoin the convo when he'd finished filling his eyes but after awhile when he'd stop talking mid-sentence.. I would stop talking as well because I felt like an idiot speaking to a man who was obviously not interested in what I had to say. He'd finally turn back as say " excuse me what were you saying?" and I would respond by saying that I was saying nothing, we'd then sit there in silence, I'd stare at my plate,avoiding his eyes,counting the minutes till I could have the waitress box up my food and give me the check. After awhile,I simply stopped going out with him whenever I could avoid it. From my friends I'm given to understand that a husband with a roving eye is pretty common and that wives opting to go out less with husbands because of it isn't all that rare.
Lovelybird Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 1. Before you can love a man, you have to understand him. It does not appear that you have a clear understanding of how men think or how their brains work in terms of visual stimuli. You twisted Stoopid-guy's words from an appreciation of the female form in general to him somehow choosing these other women over his family. That type of thinking won't get you anywhere. A man who notices and appreciates a good looking woman isn't doing so because he is dissatisfied with what he has, or is 'choosing' that over what he has. He does it because he is a MAN. Men are visual. Incoming stimuli affects the brain a certain way. Period. It has nothing to do with choosing or comparing. Men do love us. That does not mean that they shut entire parts of their brains down in order to accommodate that. Their brains continue to work how they work, and the love they have for us is still genuine. I'm not sure why you have this 'either/or' idea when it comes to this. That just isn't the case. 2. I don't begrudge you your issues, but some of the things you say about men leave them feeling unfairly judged and mocked too. It is a reaction, rather than a malicious thing I think. many parts of the world men don't watch porn at all, are you suggesting they aren't man? instead of watching porn, they are devoting themselves to their wife and family and meaningful job, are you sugesting they aren't man? Yes, man is visual, I think we get it. BUT if men are visual, so they can indulge in lust and ignore their spouse and children? if they are visual, they have rights to neglect their spouse and lust after younger and more beautiful women and make their spouse feel insignificant? Rather you are engraved with a wrong idea: man is visual, so they don't have to control self, control lust for other women. This mindset comes from disapointment, very passive and doormatic. logic is "since they love it, if I don't accomodate it, I will lose love of man". Porn will trigue their bottomless lust, not love, wake up, a man looks at porn stars and get off doesn't love, but consuming humanity and look at women as sex object
Jersey Shortie Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 2. I don't begrudge you your issues, but some of the things you say about men leave them feeling unfairly judged and mocked too. It is a reaction, rather than a malicious thing I think. I'm not trying to be malicious or judge them or mock them. But I in turn feel that the idea of actually having a committed man that cares and loves you is a joke to men. I don't see much evidence that men value giving loyatly. They only commit as much as they have to. And the rest of the time, as a woman, I am suppose to be understanding of his looking at other women and looking at porn and "once in awhile" going to strip clubs. If you think I don't understand that men are visual, I do. I know "men" are "men". But I am a woman. I am emotional. I enjoy feeling beautiful. Does that make it right to have out bursts of emotion to torture my man with? Or go out looking for other male attention that makes me feel beautiful as a woman? How come men are given a free pass for not so great behavior because they are "men". I do agree that I don't understand men. But I give up hope they want the same things or want to treat women with respect. And when I am out in public and I see a man with his family eye-balling another woman, it makes the whole idea of having a family and love seem like a big joke to men. I am not asking for them to shut down parts of themselves. I am asking for self control. I don't think that is something many men use.
soserious1 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I'm not trying to be malicious or judge them or mock them. But I in turn feel that the idea of actually having a committed man that cares and loves you is a joke to men. I don't see much evidence that men value giving loyatly. They only commit as much as they have to. And the rest of the time, as a woman, I am suppose to be understanding of his looking at other women and looking at porn and "once in awhile" going to strip clubs. If you think I don't understand that men are visual, I do. I know "men" are "men". But I am a woman. I am emotional. I enjoy feeling beautiful. Does that make it right to have out bursts of emotion to torture my man with? Or go out looking for other male attention that makes me feel beautiful as a woman? How come men are given a free pass for not so great behavior because they are "men". I do agree that I don't understand men. But I give up hope they want the same things or want to treat women with respect. And when I am out in public and I see a man with his family eye-balling another woman, it makes the whole idea of having a family and love seem like a big joke to men. I am not asking for them to shut down parts of themselves. I am asking for self control. I don't think that is something many men use. I don't think it reasonable to expect men to not notice and appreciate a beautiful woman. I just want to know what it is I'm supposed to be doing/saying when conversation stops mid-stream and the guy is doing the head swivel thing. It feels uncomfortable and weird when that happens, if you say something however light,you risk looking like a jealous biatch, if you say nothing and put on forced cheerfulness it feels strained,like you're trying to ignore an elephant that just got shoved under the rug.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Okay, then they can naturally notice all the beautiful women they want and I can naturally react with an emotional out burst everytime it happens and we can both blame it on the fact that we are a man/woman. Problem unhappily ever after solved.
Lovelybird Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I don't think anti-porn is judging and mocking men. we don't like what they do certain things, doesn't mean we don't love men. And watching porn isn't what men born to be, get this straight The porn watching isn't a decent act, how can it be? It is like if I covet another person's talent, the covetness isn't a decent act. So? people around me should accomodate me, and say what I am doing is good? A real friend would not agree that is a good deed, but still love me. and I don't need flatteror tell me all things I do are right. The first step to inspiring a person to correct wrong act is letting them know what they do isn't right. not understandably say "it is your genes to do that":rolleyes:
soserious1 Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Okay, then they can naturally notice all the beautiful women they want and I can naturally react with an emotional out burst everytime it happens and we can both blame it on the fact that we are a man/woman. Problem unhappily ever after solved. Humilating myself in public is not an answer that works for me at all, not in the slightest. In the past if I sensed a man was trying to be discrete but had a lapse of good manners I'd quickly rescue him by resuming conversation,pretending that nothing had happened.Alternatively,if the woman in question was truly stunning I'd openly acknowledge that fact, mummer something witty along the lines of" "I wish I'd been born beautiful but I'll have to settle for being filthy rich" Other not so fun times, I'd just stop talking and stare at my plate till enough time had past that I could excuse myself to go to the ladies room.. come back and say that I was suddenly quite ill and that I was going to grab a taxi home and tell him to please enjoy the rest of his evening, pay the check and leave. I do believe the act of looking,of noticing is hard wired and like other biologial functions, like farting,it's quite natural. Unfortunately some folks fart a lot louder and a lot more often than others:)
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