Lovelybird Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I feel like someone is in darkness for too long, and rub that negativeness and defeating mindsets onto others, and others rub that negativeness and defeating mindsets onto another others, ahhhhhh If you want a good life, suround yourself with some positive people, who believe in goodness, and power of God, believe in change for better negative attitude can suck life out of you, their favorite line "because many people do that, you have to accomodate this, forget your dreams and morals" Good news! There are many men don't like porn, and anything is possible for God . Chase your dream, your dream for love for mature relationship without porn, those who believe in them will get, those who don't believe in them and follow the flow will not get, what they get is porn watchers and men who lust after other women and dehumanize themselves.
Lovelybird Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Not all men who watch porn are porn addicts, nor do they lust for other women. Appreciating the female form, and using it as a visual aid for masturbation doesn't mean that man would rather have that than his wife, nor does it speak to any connection he has with his wife. It says nothing more than the fact that he prefers to use visual aids when jerking off. Its that simple. Plenty of men will tell you that, but it does not appear that many people want to listen to what a man has to say. It all seems to come down to how women wished men were, rather than how men really are. No wonder men don't share their emotions too easily. Look at what happens when they share something as simple as how their sexuality works! you are a woman, can you imagine yourself do that? can you imagine your daughter do that? can you calmly just see those women in porn are treated less than human, and still say you are understanding? can you respect a man who take advantage of those women? why so cold you understand the man in your life watching porn, do you understand those women, what kind of lives they have? what conditions are their emotion and spiritual life? what prices they paid for porn? how many tears they shed? how much damage their lifestyle caused them? how much abuse they received? Especially those young girls who just step into society, unforturnaly they walk into a wolf house, full of wolf only know how to deprive them of their self-esteem, their sexuality, their heart, their future, can you still be understanding for porn? If you say they are willing, suppose a man cannot count how many his fingers, will you take advantage of that, and take all money from him? or treat him just like treat a man who know the count? if those porn stars choose that lifestyle and don't respect themselves, should men take advantage of that? and you still can be understanding?
Lovelybird Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 there is a testimony from a woman who involved in prostitution and all you porn lovers and porn supporters should check this out http://www.hookersforjesus.net/anniestestimony.cfm then come back to continue the debate
manugeorge Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 The truth is : Men like the constant newness of newer stimulation. And so do I. Thats why after one video watching over and over , he seeks out a new one. The stimulation begins anew again. He will always seek out the newer . Think about your video CD collection . You have 200 videos ( not porn ) after viewing all videos you might feel like going to Blockbuster and picking up a new one because you viewed all the other videos. Actually even if I have a new bf I am still going to view Porn. He can satisfy me but the videos are my own private time. I am sure more males here might relate to coming home and watching a naughty video when the wife is at work. He is relaxing . He in private time. He is getting self release. He could choose to do the release other ways if he were a dishonorable man. Like release with the neighbor or some Adult sex finder sites . But he does not. There is no offense taken that the wife looks better or worse and that causes some pull towards Porn. The truth is, even hot looking wives who get regular sex might still have a hubby viewing Porn. You best believe they do. It doesn't matter how hot the woman is. Which is exactly why porn in a lot of cases is not about the woman he's with. You could remain your smoking hot self, remain the same exact way you looked at 18 well into your 50s and the man you're with will still check out other women and perhaps wank off to porn. IT'S NOT PERSONAL and it's not a reflection on how great you look or how much your boobs sag. If a man uses porn moderately for masturbation purposes in his own private time BUT still makes love to his wife regularly and their intimacy is not lacking then what is really the issue here? Why do some women get offended by that? It is the same reason why men go the extra length to defend porn and hesitate to give it up. Not because they NEED it, nobody needs porn but because they like it, they enjoy it and if they are not using it to punish you, a la, addiction, then ofcourse, they will resent you for asking them to stop and they won't want to. It is not right to blame your SO for your own poor body or self image and in a lot of cases, that is the issue when women throw a fit over mild use of porn and that is exactly why men reply with "You're insecure, leave me alone". Women talk about wanting their man to care about their feelings and their needs. Isn't that suppose to be a two way street?
Jersey Shortie Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 ...nor do they lust for other women. Appreciating the female form, and using it as a visual aid for masturbation doesn't mean that man would rather have that than his wife, nor does it speak to any connection he has with his wife. It says nothing more than the fact that he prefers to use visual aids when jerking off. Its that simple. Plenty of men will tell you that, but it does not appear that many people want to listen to what a man has to say. It all seems to come down to how women wished men were, rather than how men really are. No wonder men don't share their emotions too easily. Look at what happens when they share something as simple as how their sexuality works! I could just as easily say no wonder women aren't so eager to be more sexually adventerous and confident in bed. Look at what men look at compared to what they have in reality! Why should a woman feel like pleasing her husband if he is unpleasable? And yes, it seems that most men are just unpleasable if they need to use porn and a real life woman to both stimulate a fullfilling sexual life. I don't think the confusion lies in not understanding how men's sexuality works. I think the lack of self control men use becomes the issue. The dependency that most men seem to have on porn. The aspect that porn is stereotypical in it's idea of female beauty. And the fact that porn represents women as three holes and nothing more. You say men don't lust after other women and I find that to be a rather navie statement. You can't honestly believe a man is looking at porn and looking at other women and not lusting after her. That makes no sense. Appreciating the female form, is when you look at a painting and notice the beauty in the painting. Porn is not about respecting and appreciating the female form. It's about lusting after it, using it, for your own purposes. Porn just isn't that innocent. If a woman is bothered by a man's porn use, is hurt by it, then yes it actually does speak of the connection he has with his wife. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Whatever... you like porn. Have at it. I like porn too. But the way men use "I'm male and can view porn even if it hurts my gf/wife". That's a non-argument. It's dismissive. It sweeps the others parties concerns under the rug and ignores it. I don't feel you made a valid argument for why men view porn as their basic right even if it creates pain in their SO. And I don't feel the instinctual/biological differences are great enough to justify causing pain in others. Several female posters brought up ways in which they have felt hurt by an SOs porn usage, yet those are dismissed as extenuating circumstances. If this is the case, then why do so many have similiar stories? Are there hordes of closed-minded fanatics running amoke distorting scenarios of men who are misunderstood porn "likers"? If men simply like, but have no need, to watch porn.. then why when a woman asks them to stop he can't? If presented with the argument that men are visual creatures, they crave variety, then why wouldn't it occur to a spouse that perhaps no matter how hard they try they will never be able to compare sexually to porn once with a man past the 6 mnth point? They are old and boring after that, tossed out like yesterdays rubbish. New porn so readily available to fill the gap. Why should this not bother a woman? And after all this.. the argument for pro-porn is the word "Biological". Seems rather... less convincing then I was looking for. And I feel less accepting of my SOs need (oh wait, you said it's only a "like") to wack off to other women then I did prior to this debate. I think that was well said and all the guys here should read that a second time. If men crave variety the message is that even if he has one woman he loves, she still isn't good enough for him. On some level that is the message. New porn is always there to fill in the gap. Why shouldn't this hurt and bother women??? Why? You have some frat boy fantasy of young 20-25 year old girls and use it regularly in tandium with your relationship with your wife/gf. Dont' tell me women shouldn't feel somewhat replaced, displaced and hurt, vunerable..et etc etc. Why do you men even have relationships? It's not like you really care about what a real woman wants. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Manugeorge, from your post, I gather that it doesn't matter what a woman does for her man. It will never matter. What matters to him is his variety and the next "new" girl to view. The message is that a woman is replacable and unimportant to a man. Why should women even bother trying? Why? When the thank you we get is him looking at 18-25 year olds in porn? We get offended because it makes us feel less special, less important, less beautiful, less able to be open with him. Men are on some level, addicted to porn. If men resent wome nfor asking them to stop looking at it, women just as easily resent men for giving it more of their loyatly then women and looking at it. It is unfair to blame your SO for your poor body image. But no one here said they were doing so. It's equally unfair for men to use a meduim that degrades women, uses them, sets unrealistic standards of beauty and sexual acts and not expect women to be effected by this. And not expect a woman to not feel more open and vunerable with her man. And yes, caring about your partner's feelings is a two way street. How many men honestly care that it hurts their partner when they look at porn? Do men really have that many strong feelings towards porn that it hurts him as a man to his heart not being able to view porn? The message is women don't matter. We are replacable. We aren't good enough. We are there for you to use just like the porn is. We aren't worthy of your loyatly or respect.
manugeorge Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I disagree JS, women do matter and we are not replaceable and we are indeed worthy of loyalty and respect. There are lot of men who put their women on a pedestal and there are lot of women who feel respected, loved, cherished and desired, YET, their men still use porn. I am one of those women so I can absolutely testify about it. My boyfriend watches porn yet not a day goes by that I don't feel like the most important and most beautiful person to him. And I have dated other guys who have treated me with such respect too. Which I guess is why I don't have a problem with porn. I'm sorry you have been hurt and I read in another post where you said some douchebag wanted to come in your face because he saw it in a porn video. Yes he is a douchebag for that. But you can't go blaming all men for what one of them did to you. And if it is more that one that has made you so disillusioned, you still can't go blaming ALL men for these idiots. You know why? it is hurting you more than anybody else and these negative energy that you have surrounded yourself with will not allow you to see the forest for the trees. What will happen is that when you do come across a gem of a guy, you will be too blinded by negativity to recognize it. I am speaking from experience, but my issue then was cheating. One guy cheated on me, gutted me so badly, I hated ALL men because of him. But with time and lots of therapy:), I came to see that he was just ONE guy. Just one guy. And I was determined to stop playing the victim, I will not allow ONE guy that much power over my views and my existence. Because as long as I stay stuck in the funk, then he wins.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 1. you are a woman, can you imagine yourself do that? can you imagine your daughter do that? 2. can you calmly just see those women in porn are treated less than human, and still say you are understanding? 3. can you respect a man who take advantage of those women? 4. why so cold you understand the man in your life watching porn, 5. do you understand those women, what kind of lives they have? what conditions are their emotion and spiritual life? what prices they paid for porn? how many tears they shed? how much damage their lifestyle caused them? how much abuse they received? Especially those young girls who just step into society, unforturnaly they walk into a wolf house, full of wolf only know how to deprive them of their self-esteem, their sexuality, their heart, their future, can you still be understanding for porn? 6. If you say they are willing, suppose a man cannot count how many his fingers, will you take advantage of that, and take all money from him? or treat him just like treat a man who know the count? if those porn stars choose that lifestyle and don't respect themselves, should men take advantage of that? and you still can be understanding? 1. I watch porn before getting down the 'toybox' when I'm in the mood for that, but not necessarily in the mood for sex. I watch kinky stuff: forced orgasms mostly, pretty much anything that causes a woman to have a very real and visceral orgasm. I like to watch a woman on screen lose herself to a powerful orgasm and fancy that it is me getting that orgasm. I don't like anything with penis in it. I get enough healthy, wonderful sex with a man at home so I don't need to look at movies of men having sex in addition to that. My porn is strictly 'girl on girl'. I suppose it would come from the fact that I am more sexually attracted to women than I am men. I love making love to a woman. As it is though, I fell in love with someone who happened to be a man and we made a child and a life together, so I only indulge my taste for women through the porn I watch. It has nothing to do with preferring it over my husband, or that he is lacking in any way. We have some really fantastic sex - everything from vanilla to kink. Sometimes though, I just feel like going solo. It just happens that when I feel like 'jerking off' so to speak, I like to watch porn because it intensifies the orgasm. You know what? Its the same way for men, as well. I'm sure my husband does his thing with some porn as well. It is a part of each other's privacy that we respect though, so unless we volunteer it it doesn't come up. I have some very dominant male thought patterns. Perhaps that is why I understand this all so well. Can I imagine my daughter doing that? She is only 11. I'm still getting used to her asking 'do you think boys think I'm pretty?' She knows all about sex, but when it comes to the personal pleasure part of it, that is something she will discover on her own. I will not guide her or model any of that for her. My job is to tell her the facts, and she can find her own way of pleasure when the time is right for her. If she finds it in the way I did, then more power to her. If not, then again - more power to her. I don't see her having quite the lesbian and male-type sexual tendencies that I have, so it is likely she will find her pleasure on a different path. 2. I've known a few porn talents (as they call them) personally, so I can tell you from knowing them: to them it is acting, and a paycheck. I've never known them to say "I feel abused" or "I feel taken advantage of". The talent they do scenes with are not seen as men taking advantage of them. They are seen as men who are following direction in order to get the money shots. Now, I'm sure that there are some people out there who feel taken advantage of, but that is usually because they aren't getting paid what they think they should, or they are getting stuck with the bottom of the barrel positions, or they are getting jerked around by an a-hold producer. Rarely is it because of the sex act you see them doing onscreen. At least in my experience, that is. You have to realize that you aren't watching sex or degradation. You are watching two (or more) people who are getting paid to simulate that. There's a difference. Usually, anyway - sometimes you have the Max Hardcores out there who basically bait and switch the girls and give them far more than they signed up for, but I don't watch that stuff. 3. I don't see men who watch porn as taking advantage of anyone, nor do I see the talent in porn videos as taking advantage of anyone. I see a product that is bought and paid for, and consumed in the manner in which it was intended - performed by talent in return for a steady job and a paycheck. 4. Cold? I suppose I can come off that way, but I'm not cold. I just offer a devils advocate POV when I can. 5. There are girls who get treated poorly in the business, no doubt about it - especially in countries where girls are forced into this type of thing. But... that isn't your usual mainstream stuff we are talking about here. Not every porn clip someone watches is some girl getting the sexual equivalent of a snuff film. Ask the men what they watch: Vivid, Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy, Perfect 10 - mainstream stuff. The girls who go into this are well aware of the amount of money and fame that they can have, and go into it willingly. Now, once they get there - they may get hooked up in drugs, drinking, and other peripheral things that will mess them up, but it all comes down to choices. Choices they willingly make. 6. I'm not sure I understand what you are asking. If a porn talent chooses a life where she feels that she loses her self respect, then how is that a problem for a man who buys the video?
Jersey Shortie Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 I disagree JS, women do matter and we are not replaceable and we are indeed worthy of loyalty and respect. Apparently we are replaceable and not very worthy of loyatly and respect by men's standards. There are lot of men who put their women on a pedestal and there are lot of women who feel respected, loved, cherished and desired, YET, their men still use porn. I am one of those women so I can absolutely testify about it. My boyfriend watches porn yet not a day goes by that I don't feel like the most important and most beautiful person to him. I already accept the fact that men win. They can have a real woman that loves him and he can have as much porn as his little heart desire and that's what matters to men. I'm sorry you have been hurt and I read in another post where you said some douchebag wanted to come in your face because he saw it in a porn video. Yes he is a douchebag for that. But you can't go blaming all men for what one of them did to you. And if it is more that one that has made you so disillusioned, you still can't go blaming ALL men for these idiots. In my experience most men are a certain way. I am not blaming all men for the actions of one douchebag. I have found that most men behave in certain ways that are similar. Most men want porn and one woman that loves them. Most men don't care how that makes a woman feel. Most men need variety and that is what is important to them. Most men put women in porn on a pedestal of female beauty and then wonder why their woman compares themselves to their idealized fantasy of what men wished women looked like. Most women are suppose to be more highly evovled then men and accpet porn while men cater to their most unattractive qualities when it comes to porn. At the end of the day it's still a man's world. And I don't think men care about the women in it. No man would want any woman he truly cared about in a porn because he understands the inherent disprespect to which women are treated in porn. But it's okay if he uses other women like that. No doubt these women have a choice in being porn stars or not. But men also have a choice. ANd the choice they often make is for the porn over real women. Real women aren't good enough. real women aren't exciting enough compared to the highly visual and vareity laden computer at their finger tips. real women just don't matter. And if a real woman wants any kind of scrap of love and affection from a man, she has to put up with his porn other wise he will be more bitter and angrey about his lack of using porn then he would be about his lack of having the woman that loves him feel safe and secure in the relationships. Messed up priorties much? I think so.
Lovelybird Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 so LucreziaBorgia, manugeorge Did you check the link? seems to me you are too indifferent to those women's suffers as long as your small world with bf is good and happy manugeorge Do you think your bf doesn't care and respect other women will genuinely care and respect you? a bf uses other women will not use you? LucreziaBorgia, she experienced all that, and you have no idea what is like in the business, you are outsider, your friends may not confide you what they really experiencing because it is a shame and miserable life. 6. I'm not sure I understand what you are asking. If a porn talent chooses a life where she feels that she loses her self respect, then how is that a problem for a man who buys the video? If a person doesn't respect herself, should you treat her accordingly? or treat her with decent? How you treat her is more about you than her. If a girl doesn't respect herself, and a man who buy the video doesn't respect her. Does this speak about the man's character or the girl's? I cannot believe that you still fight for the porn. The young girls in porn many are teenagers, imagine they are manipulated and humiliated before men and camera, and be told this is love. when they are not sure of themselves, bunch of wolves came along, and deprive them, can you say this is ok? It is not your responsibility that they entered into this business, but it is your responsibility NOT to support the system, when you support the system, you are supporting those wolves, those pimps, those monsters who take advantage of weaknesses of those women and girls, you are supporting devil, you are supporting those men who beat up women, drug girls, forced women to do things that they aren't willing. Consuming those videos is like consuming humanity ! Give me a break ! If you have chance to influence your daughter, and you just give it up, and let her be whatever the society forms her? Did you check the link?
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 I did check the link. It was the story of a prostitute. I said that I knew some porn actors, not prostitutes. I did know a couple of strippers who hooked on the side but not someone who hooked like that woman did. These people confided in me quite a few details about what it is like on the inside: good and bad. Some did feel shame and misery, some didn't and still don't. Just because someone else might be ashamed of what they do, does not mean that they are going to be ashamed of it. My husband does care about and respect women. If he and I watch porn, it does not mean we don't care about or disrespect women. Porn is just spank bank material for us. Nothing more, nothing less. He and I wouldn't watch the sexual equivalent of snuff films where women are really being beaten or raped - that crosses the line into exploitative territory, where the women are not acting and they are surely not paid. However, for example, if Jesse Jane and the rest of the actors in the porn movie 'Pirates' (and the upcoming Pirates 2!) want to dress up and play pirate while having crazy sex then hey, I'm there. Those women are hardly exploited, and enjoy what they do. I enjoy what they do too. So, if husband and I enjoy watching a movie like Pirates, where the actors are into what they are doing, are proud of what they are doing, enjoy what they are doing, get paid well for what they are doing, attend award ceremonies and win awards for what they are doing, and are doing it well - then how is that disrespecting the women? The young girls in porn many are teenagers, imagine they are manipulated and humiliated before men and camera, and be told this is love. when they are not sure of themselves, bunch of wolves came along, and deprive them, can you say this is ok? It is not your responsibility that they entered into this business, but it is your responsibility NOT to support the system, when you support the system, you are supporting those wolves, those pimps, those monsters who take advantage of weaknesses of those women and girls, you are supporting devil, you are supporting those men who beat up women, drug girls, forced women to do things that they aren't willing. Consuming those videos is like consuming humanity ! What on earth type of movies are you talking about? Have you seen any of this stuff or just heard about it in religious circles? I have yet to see any where the women were forced to do what they are doing. The ones I watch have actors who take pride in what they do, and are famous for it: stuff like Pirates, for instance or amateur stuff - not seedy back alley 'sexual snuff' stuff. If you have chance to influence your daughter, and you just give it up, and let her be whatever the society forms her? I think you missed my point on that one. I haven't 'given up' anything. I am open and honest with my daughter about sex and relationships, but when it comes to something like porn or the different types of sexual pleasure - when she is old enough, she can decide for herself is that is something she wants in her life, and how she wants it in her life. I've done the same for religion as well. I present the concept of religion, and help her learn about belief systems all over the world and then let her choose for herself what works best for her. My influence is 'freedom of choice'. Therefore, society won't form her. She'll form herself.
Mary3 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 I disagree JS, women do matter and we are not replaceable and we are indeed worthy of loyalty and respect. There are lot of men who put their women on a pedestal and there are lot of women who feel respected, loved, cherished and desired, YET, their men still use porn. I am one of those women so I can absolutely testify about it. My boyfriend watches porn yet not a day goes by that I don't feel like the most important and most beautiful person to him. And I have dated other guys who have treated me with such respect too. Which I guess is why I don't have a problem with porn. I'm sorry you have been hurt and I read in another post where you said some douchebag wanted to come in your face because he saw it in a porn video. Yes he is a douchebag for that. But you can't go blaming all men for what one of them did to you. And if it is more that one that has made you so disillusioned, you still can't go blaming ALL men for these idiots. You know why? it is hurting you more than anybody else and these negative energy that you have surrounded yourself with will not allow you to see the forest for the trees. What will happen is that when you do come across a gem of a guy, you will be too blinded by negativity to recognize it. I am speaking from experience, but my issue then was cheating. One guy cheated on me, gutted me so badly, I hated ALL men because of him. But with time and lots of therapy:), I came to see that he was just ONE guy. Just one guy. And I was determined to stop playing the victim, I will not allow ONE guy that much power over my views and my existence. Because as long as I stay stuck in the funk, then he wins. Very beautifully spoken. I love your posts
Mary3 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 A year or so ago I purchased a " Loving Couples making Love " set of 4 videos in a box. These were 4 married couples . They showed making love techniques from oral to full sex . They truly put alot of class and style in these 4 videos. You got to see couples ( really in love ) demonstrate their techniques for the viewers. They did massage, making love outdoors , car sex , public sex ( pretty amazing and did not get caught ) , seduction techniques. ( Hubby came home and wife guided him upstairs with rose petals leading the way , very romantic ) So what kind of video is this for those of you who think most or all women are depicted as being degredated or demoralized in video ?
Lovelybird Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Therefore, society won't form her. She'll form herself. how many women here forms herself? they are largely influenced by their parents and medias, many of them are brainwashed by wrong beliefs, wrong beliefs cause messed up lives. How many women believe "sex will catch and keep a man"? How many women believe "they aren't worth much other than a sex object"? If you sow a good quality seed in your daughter's heart when she still is young, that seed will manifest later in her life. If you don't sow that seed, instead let others came along sow a bad seed in her life, then it is "give up your responsibility" So what kind of video is this for those of you who think most or all women are depicted as being degredated or demoralized in video ? There are many internet porn sites, which porn site doesn't involve teenager porn, violent porn, perversion porn, rape porn? every one of them has these. Don't turn blind eyes now and says "where is the degrading part". If you don't know this, then consider harder and learn before defending porn. It is a dark world. Stop giving yourself excuses, do you think it is good for those women and girls doing sex before many men? imagine yourself if you can do that? imagine that if it gives you shame? if you cannot do that yourself, then don't irresponsibly say "they love doing that, they don't have high self esteem to begin with" Support the porn system is just as worse as the porn makers
Lovelybird Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Check out this testimony from a Porn star http://www.bakersfield.com/246/story/40816.html this would open your eyes?
Walk Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 I was thinking today... There are enough women out there who feel that porn creates a reality of instant click variety women that she has to compete against for sexual attention. Read veroniks posts on variety, and that's the sentiment that is portrayed of men. I don't know if his exact sentiment is true, but it seems men's actions bolster veroniks statements. Men want a high "new model" turn over for their visual stimulation. If I considered a relationship a job at a company and I was told that twice a week a new employee would come in who was a far superior performer then I was, was 95%-100% cheaper labor then I worked for, got almost immediate results (within 3-5 mins), a temp employee who never once complained about something hurting or being sick, and would always be available at a moments notice... I would be seriously concerned about my employment status at the company. Oh.. and the best part. They bring in a new girl who gets to work on all the fun projects, get the best results, and I'm in charge of "break room clean up". (sticky tissues) (this is tongue in cheek, but holds the basic idea of my concern with porn)
Mr. Lucky Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Check out this testimony from a Porn star http://www.bakersfield.com/246/story/40816.html this would open your eyes? Last time I checked, God gave us free will. The choices in life are ours and ours alone to make, and we alone reap the consequences or benefits. Again, like many other lifestyle and adult choices discussed in this thread, some fall prey to the excesses the choices can offer. Perhaps we could dress out daughters head to toe in burkas and have them walk three steps behind us? That would certainly keep them from being "brainwashed by wrong beliefs"... Mr. Lucky
Mr. Lucky Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 If I considered a relationship a job at a company and I was told that twice a week a new employee would come in who was a far superior performer then I was, was 95%-100% cheaper labor then I worked for, got almost immediate results (within 3-5 mins), a temp employee who never once complained about something hurting or being sick, and would always be available at a moments notice... I would be seriously concerned about my employment status at the company. If you work is so subpar that a new employee can do your job twice as well in half the time, then you deserve to be "laid" () off... Mr. Lucky
Lovelybird Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Please check out this link, and you will have an idea what is like being a porn star http://www.shelleylubben.com/index.php?truth=bio yes, free choice, but if people make choice based on lack of information, it isn't real free choice, maybe duped by own selfishness and devil
Lovelybird Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 In case of some of you are lazy, here is a little bit paragraph from that testimony "A former stripper, prostitute and pornographic actress in the 80's and 90's, Shelley suffered major negative effects of the pornography industry and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depressive Disorder, Impulse Control Disorder and substance abuse due to years of trauma from the sex industry. In 1994, she was infected with the non-curable disease Genital Herpes while making a pornographic film and later developed early cervical cancer. Shelley had three unexpected pregnancies from prostitution acts, two ending in miscarriages. Later, with her husband, she had an Entopic pregnancy and a third miscarriage. FOUR total pregnancy losses. Shelley understands very well how destructive the pornography industry is." Pornography is not only highly addictive material but also promotes lies about women. "Porn," Shelley says, "exploits and devalues women. Porn converts women into objects rather then people with feelings and opinions of their own. Even soft-core pornography portrays women as sex objects who exist only to give sexual satisfaction to men. They are “pets” or “playmates” valued only from the neck down. Many porn addicts now admit they find it hard not to view women as chunks of meat because of viewing pornography." Another lie the porn industry wants you to believe is that we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think women enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts. Please read an excerpt from my upcoming book Many believe the widespread fairytale that women enjoy making porn movies but in reality there are no happy endings for the women of porn. Women do NOT enjoy making porn movies and a closer behind-the-scenes look will show you several reasons why. In the world of hardcore sex, an average day on the set for a porn actress is a long and tedious process. Women are told to come in around 8 am for makeup but it's only to make sure porn actresses arrive on time to work. Porn stars have a habit of arriving late because they're often hung over from drugs or alcohol from the night before. After make up, porn actresses usually wait around long hours until it's their turn to do their scene. Some scenes take an hour and some take several hours to film. It really depends if the male actor in the first scene could "perform" or not. It also depends if female actresses have to stop the clock because they can't handle the pain of a hardcore sex scene. While waiting around, jaded porn performers usually end up in the rest rooms with bottles of alcohol and lines of speed or outside in their cars for a heroin fix or gathered in the back yard with other actors to smoke marijuana. To add to the mind-numbing process, women are never able to experience sexual pleasure because of the continuous cutting during sex scenes. In the background the director constantly yells, "cut" and the flow of action is interrupted in order to get a better shot, adjust lighting or to wipe up bodily fluids. Repeatedly pornographers stop the scenes and ask actors to "freeze" in position during very hardcore sex acts, which causes great physical and emotional pain for porn actresses. I speak from personal experience when I say to be in the middle of a hardcore sex act with several actors at the same time and told to "freeze" in position for several minutes while lighting or cameras are adjusted is extremely painful and degrading. It's also very humiliating when scenes are stopped in order to wipe up bodily fluids such as semen, feces and blood. Despite the fact that women do not enjoy making porn movies, they continue to lie to their fans and proudly insist they enjoy making porn movies. Of course they do. They get paid hundreds and thousands of dollars to lie because this is their occupation. Porn stars are paid professional liars who know how to "act" and they do it well. In fact, because porn stars spend a great deal of time in front of the camera and never step out of character, they usually have greater acting abilities than mainstream Hollywood actors. I used to brag endlessly to fans and pornographers about my extreme "Italian" sex drive and how I loved making porn movies. I would go on and on about how I needed more and more to fulfill my insatiable appetite. I lied 100% of the time to 100% of the people. Lying is the native language of porn stars because they can't afford to tell you the truth. Not only would it ruin the fantasy for their fans but more importantly, it would ruin the amount of their paychecks. Don't believe porn actresses when they proudly proclaim they enjoy making porn movies. They're ACTING. Furthermore, most porn actresses admit they've experienced childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents which ultimately led them to the porn industry where they were exploited and suffered even worse abuse. Porn is NOT glamourous. Porn is virtually everywhere on earth. It affects everyone. No matter where you go, it’ll be in your path. It will reach you through its TV networks, pay-per-view movies on cable and satellite, Internet Web sites, in-room hotel movies, phone sex, peep shows, and magazines. But Shelley Lubben will be there too, right in the porn industry’s face exposing its ugly naked truth and offering a message of hope to those who want out of the trap of porn. Pink Cross Foundation: www.thepinkcross.org Shelley’s web site is: www.shelleylubben.com Shelley's Myspace is: http://www.myspace.com/shelleylubben
Mr. Lucky Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 yes, free choice, but if people make choice based on lack of information, it isn't real free choice So those people that have looked at porn and decided that it was a harmless diversion are making an informed choice ??? Mr. Lucky
Lovelybird Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 So those people that have looked at porn and decided that it was a harmless diversion are making an informed choice ??? Mr. Lucky so I am trying to inform them "it isn't harmless"
Walk Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 If you work is so subpar that a new employee can do your job twice as well in half the time, then you deserve to be "laid" () off... Haha. Wish I was 'laid' off more often. Whatever Mr. Lucky... it takes my H about 3 seconds to jerk one off. He has sex with me suddenly it's a 30 minute (minimum) endeavor. I try to fit in a quicky between things sometimes, and he wants to schedule a 5 hour block of time for it. BTW... you had good points (you already knew this) about the biology aspect. I spent some time today reading through other studies on it. Specifically sight stimulation of male versus female. Studies I read were kind of dated, but still valid. I'd like to see newer studies using the new tech that's out there now though. Might shed more light on things. I couldn't find any though.
Lovelybird Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 In case you think it is harmless to a male porn star: here goes Drugs are a major, major problem in my business. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you. I can't tell you the number of girls who have disappeared and dropped out of the business because of their drug problems (I could list them, but that's not really important). It is unbelievably sad to think about, and seeing some of them fall into a downward spiral hurts me more than others. But I think we all can agree that a huge majority of drug users will never change unless they get professional help. I have seen all manner of drugs on set, at parties, in cars, everywhere. If I had to guess, I would put marijuana use at 90 percent of ALL people involved in the industry (performers, directors, crew, agents, drivers, owners, office workers, etc.). I have been on a set where a girl has passed out DURING a sex scene with me (she was abusing oxycontin). Just recently a girl overdosed on GHB (a party drug that is the scourge of Texas, a clear odorless drug that doesn't mix well with alcohol) on set. I have seen a girl win a prestigious (lol) AVN Award, not show up to accept the award, and then fall into the throes of drug use that caused her to lose at least 50 pounds and drop off the face of the earth. Why is drug use so prevalent in our business? Well, let’s figure that out. First of all, remember that the business is populated largely with girls aged 18-21. And the majority of those girls are uneducated (many haven't graduated high school). Add to that the fact that many come into the business because they have no money, and are working at menial jobs like fast food places. So you have young girls who are uneducated with very little money entering the business. Once they are in the business, they are now making ten thousand dollars a month and working maybe 5 hours a day 10-15 days a month. There are predators out there that can smell these girls and prey on them like sharks. Young, uneducated girls with lots of money, lots of free time, and very little supervision. This is a really bad equation (unless you are a drug dealer of course). But I am just a performer. I get paid to have sex with these girls, not psycho analyzethem, or give them advice. It's a struggle sometimes to not get involved, but youhave to keep out of their personal life. I learned this the hard way with Katie Gold. Ican only hope Velicity finds the strength to overcome her demons.
Mr. Lucky Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Whatever Mr. Lucky... it takes my H about 3 seconds to jerk one off. He has sex with me suddenly it's a 30 minute (minimum) endeavor. I try to fit in a quicky between things sometimes, and he wants to schedule a 5 hour block of time for it. My wife can be the same way, but she wants to start the 5 hour block at 11:30 at night !!! I usually choose sex over sleep but am often hating life the next morning. BTW... you had good points (you already knew this) about the biology aspect. I spent some time today reading through other studies on it. Specifically sight stimulation of male versus female. Studies I read were kind of dated, but still valid. I'd like to see newer studies using the new tech that's out there now though. Might shed more light on things. I couldn't find any though. You know, I think our brains are the real final frontier. I am fascinated by things like this new study regarding alleles and marital satisfaction. We've come a long way but probably understand less than 5% of what goes on and how it works. It wasn't that long ago, people thought "straight or gay" was simply a lifestyle choice... Mr. Lucky
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 1. If you sow a good quality seed in your daughter's heart when she still is young, that seed will manifest later in her life. If you don't sow that seed, instead let others came along sow a bad seed in her life, then it is "give up your responsibility" 2. There are many internet porn sites, which porn site doesn't involve teenager porn, violent porn, perversion porn, rape porn? every one of them has these. Don't turn blind eyes now and says "where is the degrading part". If you don't know this, then consider harder and learn before defending porn. It is a dark world. 1. I do sow a good quality seed in my daughter's heart: the ability to think for herself, and not be swayed by public opinion or the media. She is only 11 and is already able to resist being shaped in the way that you mentioned. I share with her a wealth of knowledge from various viewpoints, and keep it factual and objective. I share my opinions of things, but I do not dictate what her opinions and viewpoints should be. 2. What you see as degrading isn't always degrading for the people making it. Its an act, a simulation. Yes, there are things out there on the internet that are not acts or simulations, and there are some perversions out there - bestiality, child porn, etc - but those aren't the sort of thing that you see people here defending. Your links and testimonials seem to be primarily from religious sources. It is not a surprise that they would have the content that they do.
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