Cherry Blossom 35 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Maybe it's ok if the first date you have the chrysalis, and later it turns into butterflies...? Every guy I've had major butterflies with did not pan out. Well, no guy has panned out so I guess that makes no sense. But truly, I think that there must be chemistry there and a sense of attraction, but butterflies CAN develop later. That has definitely happened to me. If I feel very comfortable with a man, comfortable to be myself and state my opinions, then that is a huge plus for me. Huge. Good luck! Lots of options, fun
Author Star Gazer Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 Maybe it's ok if the first date you have the chrysalis, and later it turns into butterflies...? Whaaaa?? If I feel very comfortable with a man, comfortable to be myself and state my opinions, then that is a huge plus for me. Huge. It's becoming a huge plus for me too!!
sfsassy Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I like a little of both With this guy I like I feel some butterflies, the eating thing, but I can also get past that and just talk to him. Also when we talk, and I think about him, I don't think"oh he's perfect" ut think" we could be a good fit together"
Green Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I need a girl that can get the blood flowing from the first date. Sure sounds like alot of settling talk going around here lately
vonerik012 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Be more spontaneous, live a little, meet people in real life, and you will be more apt to feelings butterflies than pre-planned boring internet dates. I think the place and circumstances in which you meet are just as important as to whom you actually meet.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 Be more spontaneous, live a little, meet people in real life, and you will be more apt to feelings butterflies than pre-planned boring internet dates. Why are you assuming these are internet dates? Are you assuming everyone here only meets people online? Two are guys I've known since college, and another (while we did first run into each other online) is a mutual friend.
Green Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Why are you assuming these are internet dates? Are you assuming everyone here only meets people online? Two are guys I've known since college, and another (while we did first run into each other online) is a mutual friend. thats not spontaneous at all then... those are guys you knew, and never felt anything for... and then met on the net. He was write you defensive sally
Author Star Gazer Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 thats not spontaneous at all then... those are guys you knew, and never felt anything for... and then met on the net. He was write you defensive sally When I first met the 2 from college, I was almost-engaged. Couldn't really date them back then.
vonerik012 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 How can you expect to have butterflies with people you have know for years? Another guy you are dating is a mutual friend of the other 2? Maybe open your circle by meeting some strangers in real life. Just let it happen. Get out and meet someone new.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 How can you expect to have butterflies with people you have know for years? Another guy you are dating is a mutual friend of the other 2? I KNEW them in college, 8 years ago, when I had a very serious BF. Haven't seen them since, literally. People change, dude.
CaliGuy Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I'm finding it interesting that most guys who replied say that butterflies grow over time for them. Why? What's so unbelievable about that? There may have been minor ones, but I have found the more love I have for someone, the more butterflies she makes me feel.
vonerik012 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Ok, well keep using classmates.com. Or become spontaneous and meet some new people.
Green Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 MEET NEW PEOPLE! ur a lawyer, just walk around handing out ur business card and some guy will call for something other then bisnass
Author Star Gazer Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 Ok, well keep using classmates.com. Or become spontaneous and meet some new people. FFS, dude. You don't know the background on these dudes nor how I met them, so what's your problem? Jeeezus. Rather than running into them at the supermarket, I ran into them on MySpace (they went looking for me). Is there a PROBLEM with that?
2sunny Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 SG - the butterflies gets me into trouble every time. i'd rather live without all the pain and drama that comes with it. give me a great guy that's caring, fun, kind and predictable at this point. my xH was one of the best looking guys i've ever seen - but in the end such an a$$ - that i never get butterflies when i see him now. in fact he's not even attractive to me when i look at him. the highs were so high - but the low times were more than terrible. that is a weird feeling. but i do feel safer in my choices when i heed the initial butterfly men.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 MEET NEW PEOPLE! ur a lawyer, just walk around handing out ur business card and some guy will call for something other then bisnass I don't NEED nor WANT to meet any more people right now. It's hard enough juggling 3 awesome guys!
Green Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I don't NEED nor WANT to meet any more people right now. It's hard enough juggling 3 awesome guys! u strike me as the kind of girl who would rather focus her attention on one guy... maybe thats ur problem... it takes a dibolique type of multi tasking to pull off what you want to
Author Star Gazer Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 SG - the butterflies gets me into trouble every time. i'd rather live without all the pain and drama that comes with it. give me a great guy that's caring, fun, kind and predictable at this point. That's what I'm thinkin'...
Author Star Gazer Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 u strike me as the kind of girl who would rather focus her attention on one guy... maybe thats ur problem... it takes a dibolique type of multi tasking to pull off what you want to I'd rather remain single than be with the wrong guy. Until I find the right one, any one of them are not going to be the only one. I simply don't want to lead anyone on while I go through this process, and I don't want to fool myself into thinking that unless I have CRAZY chemistry with someone from the moment we meet that it's doomed. I don't think that's true anymore, as reflected by the wise women who've responded.
Green Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I'd rather remain single than be with the wrong guy. Until I find the right one, any one of them are not going to be the only one. I simply don't want to lead anyone on while I go through this process, and I don't want to fool myself into thinking that unless I have CRAZY chemistry with someone from the moment we meet that it's doomed. I don't think that's true anymore, as reflected by the wise women who've responded. there in the same situation as you whats wise about that?
vonerik012 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Yes, there is a huge problem with that. Myspace for a life partner? Why do you become so defensive? 3 awesome guys? The reality is you do not have even one. You are completely single and dating. 97% of people do not meet there spouse online. All it takes is to meet one real guy, in real life, and you are set. Seeking sparks from myspace buddies who you used to be friends with is an exercise in futility. Go get out of the house and meet someone new. Why are you so afraid of that? Instead you post over and over about how you are dating several internet guys that you knew from the past, or are friends of friends.
Green Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Yes, there is a huge problem with that. Myspace for a life partner? Why do you become so defensive? 3 awesome guys? The reality is you do not have even one. You are completely single and dating. 97% of people do not meet there spouse online. All it takes is to meet one real guy, in real life, and you are set. Seeking sparks from myspace buddies who you used to be friends with is an exercise in futility. Go get out of the house and meet someone new. Why are you so afraid of that? Instead you post over and over about how you are dating several internet guys that you knew from the past, or are friends of friends. It really is the definition of insanity... she needs to think about something she would never do.... and then meet a guy there and bam she'll be set and think it was magic
vonerik012 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 What do you think causes sparks or butterflies? Answer that. It happens when you meet someone NEW, and usually in a rare, or unique way. Internet dating is not very conducive to that, neither is dating people who you were friends with 8 years ago.
2sunny Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I'd rather remain single than be with the wrong guy. Until I find the right one, any one of them are not going to be the only one. I simply don't want to lead anyone on while I go through this process, and I don't want to fool myself into thinking that unless I have CRAZY chemistry with someone from the moment we meet that it's doomed. I don't think that's true anymore, as reflected by the wise women who've responded. SG- then just date them for the fun of it without getting serious. just be fair by being up front with them about your intentions if they try to press for more.
Trialbyfire Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 Both KMT and von don't seem to have followed your dating history, Star. In the past she has dated complete strangers, met in real life. She's also met guys through online dating that, yes, she's met and dated in real life. She's also dated men that she's known for years.
Recommended Posts