Hypothetical Sex Question: She'll Do Everyone But You

[PandaStillLovesBunny]

Okay, quick hypothetical question:

 

If you were in a committed relationship with, let's say, a pornstar, and she loved having sex, and she's had sex with 5-10 guys in the last month before she started dating you, but you haven't had a chance to have sex with her yet, would this bother you, and what do you think it would mean?

 

Let's add a few qualifiers: she's not using you, because she pays for dates even more often than you do, at her insistence. She doesn't seem averse to having sex with you, because she calls you sexual petnames, and makes frequent suggestive comments. You are also, since this is hypothetical, absolutely certain that she is not cheating on you.

 

You've been together for two months and just haven't had sex yet.

 

How do you feel, and what do you think is going on?

[Ronni_W]

Let's say I am the porn star -- maybe it is my way of trying to create a 'specialness' around the sexual aspect of this relationship? That is, I want it to be more meaningful than all the other sex I'm having, and I'm seeing this as one way to do that. Maybe?

[nopainnogain]

Ha . My ex wasnt a porn star but come to find out she did do everyone but me lol:mad:

 

So , I wouldnt be comfratable if mywoman was bangin other dudes.

[JackJack]

I wouldn't date a pornstar. So guess this doesn't apply to me.

[Quinch]

I would naturally assume she's got STDs

[PandaStillLovesBunny]

Quick clarification: She was a pornstar, but quit when she began dating you. Or, hell, forget the pornstar angle: let's just say that she had lots and lots of sex before meeting you, and suddenly stops once the relationship starts.

[lovelorcet]

She thinks you are a "nice guy" and is trying to give you a try but in reality she is just not that into you... otherwise she would be banging you...

[Jilly Bean]

Why would you want to date a pornstar?

[flc]

So if she wasn't a porn star how would you know she had lots and lots of sex? Did she tell you, that would seem weird. Sorry I don't buy your hypothesis, if she loves sex, does no thave STDs and is into you you will have had sex in 2 months time period. Does not compute

[GoodOnPaper]

You've been together for two months and just haven't had sex yet.

 

How do you feel, and what do you think is going on?

 

I'd be highly confused and wonder what's going on. It's like she wants to be with you, yet she's not very attracted to you. Chasing Amy-type behavior is hard for me to wrap my head around. I figure this is how it works:

 

signs of greater attraction --> more or wilder sex

signs of lesser attraction --> less or tamer sex

 

Yet, we hear about women who go much more slowly (or tamer) than usual when they start dating men they consider LTR material. The LTR-guy is supposed to think he's special, but actually, the message being conveyed is that he's not as desirable as the men in casual sex encounters.

 

The sex industry profession factor probably skews things somewhat. She may associate casual sex with unpleasantness in her work. On the other hand, one would think that she would have a good handle on what she does like about sex and want to indulge with someone she was really into.

[Ronni_W]

she had lots and lots of sex before meeting you, and suddenly stops once the relationship starts.

Did she just stop having sex with me, or did she stop having sex with the other guys AND also doesn't have any interest in having sex with me?

 

But maybe I'd just say, "Hey, porn star (or 'very sexual person', as the case may be)...wtf is going on about your sex life? Are you not finding me attractive enough or what???"

[Lizzie60]

well..maybe she is not mixing 'work' with her private life..

 

Porn is work.. nothing more..

[georgejungle]

if My girl was a guitar tech, constantly playing,

constantly fixing guitars and I had a guitar at my house, yet

everytime she came over, she never played it or asked

to play it or even asked about it, i would wonder why.

 

why the Question anyway?

[ed-205]

I am a mechanic. You know this because my car is filthy, needs an oil change, has bald tires, a burned-out taillight, and sounds like a tank. Why don't I fix it?

Simple answer. Nobody is going to PAY me to do it! In fact, it's going to COST me my own money to do the same work I spend 8+ hours a day busting my butt at to make a living!

[MichiganMan222]

OK, I'm confused....you're dating a porn-star who refused to restring your guitar and won't change your oil? try sleeping with her and see if that helps.

[mental_traveller]

Well, to me that shows she obviously compartmentalizes sex at work and sex in relationships as two different things (a bit like how men can compartmentalize sex and feelings). The former she probably just views as a job, her way to pay the bills; the latter would be something involving more serious feelings and emotions.

 

Personally I'd find it laughable to even consider dating someone in that way - you're meant to sit around not getting any action, while she's bonking guys every day for fun & profit? No guy with any self-respect would tolerate that situation.