my body is a cage Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 im at home from college right now (still on summer break of freshmen year). when i was in high school, i used to hang out with these group of kids alot. even though i didnt hang out with them as often this summer, because of all of the drama between me and a few of the guys in the group, they still mean a lot to me as a whole and i haven't really found a group of people at college that i connect with as well as i do with them tonight was my friend's last night in town before he moved across the country. albeit, he is going to be back to play a show in town in a couple of weeks, but i dont know if i will be able to make it. this guy and i were together for a while last summer, and everyone thought that he actually liked me. however, i ended it with him because of drama, once again. since then, weve hung out plenty of times where i felt like we really bonded, ie talking for hours, driving around, etc... were really similar people actually. today i wasnt sure if he would want to hang out, so i called and said i had his cd and asked if he wanted it back before he left. he said yes, and then asked me if i wanted to hang out. at first he was really sweet, got into my car, talked to me alot, etc. i feel like i was kind of awkward/ shy around him because i felt weird about him leaving. as the night continued things got weirder. the other girls who were hanging out left, so all the guys started focusing on teasing me. the teasing got a little heavy, so i jokingly got into my car and drove away, and came back 5 minutes later, to make a point. when i came back my other friend was like yoo why did you leave? we were just kidding. and i was like oh i know. then he offered to buy me food so me and two other guys went to this food place down the street. when we came back, the remaining people had left, including my friend that was moving. i called, but he didnt pick up... (he was probably at home) im REALLY upset because i really wanted to say to a proper goodbye, and leave him with a good impression of me. weve had our ups and down, and overall i really like him as a person, but i feel like today was definitely one our downs. and it seemed like he cared at first, but then i made things too awkward and weird and then he didnt even care if we said goodbye or not! i guess he didnt say goodbye to a lot of his other friends either, since hes not the most emotionally open person in t he world, and if things were totally platonic i wouldnt be that offended, but i still am hurt. also, its possible that he thinks im coming to his show for sure... do you think he cares that we didnt say goodbye at all? or do i mean nothing to him at this point. did i screw it up by being awkward? do you think hes gonna remember me as awkward, or will he remembr the good times we have? in general, im having a hard time coping with the fact that im never gonna see a lot of people who are important to me again...
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