melodymatters Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 So, I'v been on here a few years, had my ups and downs, for sure no one will ever carve " She had a dull life" on my tombstone, lol. But, that's the way I choose to live, and I respect other people being true to themselves as well. I met and fell in love with someone 16 yrs younger than myself. I have been accused of "making the decision for them that they can never have children". I have been told that when my " looks fade" he will leave me. Not really stressing about either, life is a roll of the dice. Always. The only GOOD point, was AC's, and yes, the engagement happened rather quickly, but it gives us both a sense of committment and bonding, removes a lot of BS, and YES, the marriage won't be for some time. I'm with Lizzie, it's your life, whatever works for you, and the people who lose their MINDS, over YOUR life, seem to have a few more issues than the "free thinkers" do at the end of the day. Peace AND Cheers ! lol
whichwayisup Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 All I can say is, life is short. Age means nothing and what's important is the NOW. Who cares what others think! You love this guy, then go for it and be happy!
Kamille Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Hurray Melody! He's a smart man for choosing such a wise woman!
Jilly Bean Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Mel, Mel! Look at the people who are making these disparaging comments. They are coming from the new crop of trolling misogynists who loop the SAME comments over and over. The messaging is that of pure hate, and is no different than anyone spewing racism, IMO. An 'ism is an 'ism - whether it's ageism, or sexism. They can wrap it any way they choose, but I think *most* of us on here fully understand their intentions - which is not to offer sound advice, but only to tear others down who are living the lives they are incapable of even dreaming about. Consider the sources, and then please, DISMISS these folks. They have nothing better to do than try to hurt others, while you girl, are out there living a life and a happy, loving one at that. Who would you rather be in the equation? The one spending your days googling stupid studies and posting the same garbage day in, and day out, or, to be the one who is in a solid relationship? I am ALL for your engagement. The most beautiful thing is to be in love, love someone, and have that person truly love you back. Wishing you and the new man a lifetime filled with love, laughter and joy.
quankanne Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 sixteen years, huh? There's 13 between me and DH, and I appreciate every damned year of difference because it means I've found someone who is mentally my speed ... looks will fade? Who cares when you've got a sure thing with this person you care deeply for, you know? As for children ... well, whether it's a conscious decision or not to have them, it doesn't mean you can't still appreciate them for who they are, even if they're not your own! so turn a deaf ear to the naysayers, mel, and be happy with your man. That's all we can really ask for in life
Art_Critic Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 One thing is for sure MM.. Life is too short for the BS that we sometimes can put ourselves thru.. Me being a little older than you one of the things I've learned in the last 5 or so years is that you don't get a second chance or a do over when it comes to life so why waste your time.. I would jump at the chance you have the same way you have as well.. you haven't made any decision for him and haven't taken anything from him.. There are always two people in every relationship and both have the ability to say no or call it quits at any time.. On the other thread I was trying hard not to to insult you with my " advice " and hope that I didn't..... if I did i'm sorry and I didn't want to start a MM flogging campaign I certainly don't judge you or think anything other than good wishes for you and your BF...
johan Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I'm tempted to try to get her to explain it again. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I met and fell in love with someone 16 yrs younger than myself. I have been accused of "making the decision for them that they can never have children". I have been told that when my " looks fade" he will leave me. I think it's telling that, if the genders were reversed, not many would be worried that the older man was limiting the younger woman's options. I don't see Michael Douglas catching much grief. You go, girl!!! Mr. Lucky
Ronni_W Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I met and fell in love with someone 16 yrs younger than myself. I have been accused of "making the decision for them that they can never have children". I have been told that when my " looks fade" he will leave me. Melody, I wouldn't give two, er, 'thoughts' about others' negative comments. Regarding "looks fading", my b/f is 1 year older than me but he looks about 20 years younger...so I already get confused for his mom . OR, I get seen as this older broad who must have SOMETHING hot going on for me. Either way, we both just have a good laugh. And I married a similar-aged guy but didn't want kids. When people told me I was also making the decision for him, I just said, "Yeah...cos he's a freakin' moron and has no brain capacity to figure-out that me not wanting kids means he's not having kids with me!" So, screw'em! Basically both "arguments against" your relationship is a dis on your guy moreso than on you. Like he's clueless about any age difference, and an idiot not to know potential biological implications. Unless he is 6 years old or diagnosed mentally challenged, I suspect he is well aware of everything. So just screw'em, is my humble suggestion...and enjoy a long and happy life together
Lishy Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I'm tempted to try to get her to explain it again. Hilarious!!!!!!!!!! :laugh:
Trialbyfire Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 mel, I'm happy that you're happy! I don't agree that there are any issues with aging, looks, etc. Where I'm concerned is that younger people below the age of 25, aren't usually well-defined adults yet. Emotionally flighty would be the way that would best describe it. Having said that, not all are like that and if your guy is in the same stage in life as you are, with the same goals and values, age truly is but a number.
marlena Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Wow, I could have written that post word for word!!! Enjoy! As cliche as it sounds, yes, life is way too short to waste on conforming to other people's standards!! Good for you Melody. And I do agree, the free-thinkers are the ones with a lot less issues. Way to go!!!
Author melodymatters Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 Thank you ALL for your support ! And Johan, thanks for making me laugh per usual ! Ronni, thanks for sharing your story, boy he must look really young ! So far it's been about equal with 1) both of us getting proofed 2) neither of us getting proofed 3) Just him getting proofed, which threw me for a loop the first time, and now if they start looking at him for too long, I just say " go ahead, proof him" ! I DID wonder about the "mom" thing as I resemble his mother a bit ( she's a 45 yr old blue eyed blonde,lol) But then didn't they always say things like I want to marry a woman like my dear old dad did, or something like that. And really, so what if he likes a certain type, so do I. He never slips and calls me mom in bed or anything,LOL I think Michaels most noticable quality is his utter, and complete sweetness. He has a generousity of heart I have never encountered before. As I mentioned in the other thread, he had to start working and help support his family at 13. He had to pay rent, buy food and his own school clothes and supplies. I, on the other hand, was sent to an expensive private college, and twice yearly we would go to NYC to shop for school clothes. I'm book smart, he's street smart. So, yeah, we seem to mesh ok on the values, and life stages thing. We both just want to settle down, work, and try and enjoy whatever moments life has to give us. We are different in many areas, but we "love" the same way....
Dark-N-Romantic Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Just as long as one's actions are not hurting others or putting others in unnecessary harm (e.i. having an affair or a partner in an affair). Its all a matter of knowing who you are, who they are, and working together towards those goals. Its about being able to love a person when they are not in most loveliest of lights. Too many people want to qualify and quantify and dictate whom we should love or not based on non-sensible reasons. DNR The greatest enemy of love is not hate, its human beings and their damn prejudices.
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