Why do guys like the high maintenance, arm -candy type of women?

[shadowplay]

Once again, no where in her post, does she refer to sleazy dressing. These are conclusions drawn by members which in itself, is based on viewing someone superficially, and drawing potentially inaccurate conclusions.

 

Regardless, even if a woman were to dress in a sleazy fashion, it doesn't mean she's stupid.

 

And as I said, I'm talking about averages not individuals. She may not be stupid but she's far more likely to lack depth or substance. There are always exceptions, but on average a woman who dresses sleazy is probably more of a bimbo type. The way somebody chooses to present themselves often reflects something about their character. You can argue all you want, but that's the reality.

[Trialbyfire]

She may not be stupid but she's far more likely to lack depth or substance. As I said there are always exceptions, but on average a woman who dresses sleazy is probably more of a bimbo type. You can argue all you want, but that's the reality.

No, that's what you perceive as reality.

 

Also sleazy is subjective. Some women consider skirts 4" over the knee as sleazy. Much of sleazy isn't what you wear but how you wear it. Someone like Kiera Knightley can wear a shirt opened down to her waist and not look sleazy. Take a large breasted double-D woman and the same can't be said for that.

[CaliGuy]

Refer to my previous post.

 

Btw, if someone views you as ugly or not intelligent, is this something you enjoy?

 

External validation is nice some of the time, just not all of the time. In self-improving, you also self-validate.

 

I seek outside approval about 5% of the time. 95% of my validation comes from within. It used to be the other way around. Now I just flat don't give a damn what others think about me.

 

And the funny thing is, instead of pushing people away, it has drawn the right people closer to me.

[shadowplay]

No, that's what you perceive as reality.

 

Also sleazy is subjective. Some women consider skirts 4" over the knee as sleazy. Much of sleazy isn't what you wear but how you wear it. Someone like Kiera Knightley can wear a shirt opened down to her waist and not look sleazy. Take a large breasted double-D woman and the same can't be said for that.

 

You really don't think there are any average differences in personality based on the way people choose to dress? That's naive.

[carhill]

You feel validated when people find you attractive?

I know this was directed at TBF but I'd like to provide my male perspective. For me, when women express an appreciation of my appearance or talents, the act, rather than validating myself (or making me feel validated) or feeding my ego, causes them to gain an additional dimension in my eyes, that being the one of noting, processing, appreciating and expressing interest in and the view of another person. This generally happens with women I know well. It causes their attraction level to go up in my eyes, regardless of superficial beauty.

 

Being an only child and single for many years, I learned to self-validate and not depend on the outside world for defining who I am. It is, however, nice to interface with that world and feel part of it. Heartfelt compliments are always appreciated and reciprocated

 

Regarding the "dumb" niece, I tend to see this dynamic from a different perspective. We all have our path in life; hers is unique to her. I might not agree with her choices but I respect that they are hers to make. I'll bet she has good qualities which may balance those "doubtful" ones. I think of it as a different path, perhaps even one to the same place. One never knows My wife tends to get all up in other people's business, but I'm of the mind that it takes all my energy and attention to keep my own house in order. I trust others to mind theirs...

[Trialbyfire]

You really don't think there are any average differences in personality based on the way people choose to dress? That's naive.

There are more than enough superficial people who don't bother with self-improvement. How they look, doesn't necessarily define who they are inside. It can create an impression externally but that doesn't mean that intelligence and emotional depth are synonymous to being out-of-shape, poorly dressed or ugly.

[shadowplay]

There are more than enough superficial people who don't bother with self-improvement. How they look, doesn't necessarily define who they are inside. It can create an impression externally but that doesn't mean that intelligence and emotional depth are synonymous to being out-of-shape, poorly dressed or ugly.

 

When did I ever say any of that that? I'm talking in averages, not absolutes. If you took the the average woman who dresses in what most people agreed was a sleazy, tasteless style vs the average woman who is put together yet chooses tasteful attire, the latter would most likely have more intelligence and substance. There's also a logical difference between saying on average people who dress sleazy are x vs. most people who are x on average dress sleazy.

[Trialbyfire]

When did I ever say any of that that? I'm talking in averages, not absolutes. If you took the the average woman who dresses in what most people agreed was a sleazy, tasteless style vs the average woman who is put together yet chooses tasteful attire, the latter would most likely have more intelligence and substance.

Ah, now we get into tasteless v. sleazy. Tasteless means, no style sense. Does no style sense mean that people are both stupid and emotionally clueless?

[shadowplay]

Ah, now we get into tasteless v. sleazy. Tasteless means, no style sense. Does no style sense mean that people are both stupid and emotionally clueless?

 

Now we're getting into a semantical debate. There are different forms of tasteless. Somebody can be tasteless in terms of having no style, but that's not how I usually use the term. I mean tacky and slutty. Do I have to offer visual examples here? I think it's pretty obvious to most people what kind of look I'm referring to.

[Trialbyfire]

Now we're getting into a semantical debate. There are different forms of tasteless. Somebody can be tasteless in terms of having no style, but that's not how I usually use the term. I mean tacky and slutty. Do I have to offer visual examples here? I think it's pretty obvious to most people what kind of look I'm referring to.

So what you're saying is that you judge by the superficial...

[almost famous]

The term "arm candy" in and of itself implies no depth the person. Think of candy....you enjoy the piece of chocolate while it lasts, then it's gone, nothing left.

[katherinev87]

I can certainly picture the type the OP had in mind. Yes, many gals care about how they look. HOWEVER, it's painfully obvious when that is ALL that goes through some people's minds. They flit around watching all the men to see who's looking at them, ears almost bouncing from one shoulder to the other, and you'd swear you could hear the *whoosh* of air rushing in one and out the other. Many times they talk in this little cutesy voice that just makes me want to hurl.

 

THIS is exactly what I was referring to in my original post. I'm not talking about women who maintain themselves...I am one of those! There seems to be a particularly high population of twenty somethings in my town that fit the description that luv outlined above, and it's particularly frustrating because...

 

1. yes, initially jealousy is an issue. You can't help but be jealous of them. They're beautiful for god's sake, and they attract alot of attention. Everyone likes attention.

2. these particular air-head girls feed the male population's (and the female population for that matter) idea that women in general are stupid. My original post is evidence of this....I generalized. After reading all the posts of others, I have come to remember that no, not every cutesy girl is an air head.

[You'reasian]

In reading the thread entitled 'Why do women like the bad boys', I came across some interesting stuff. And now have a question of my own...along the same lines of thinking, I suppose.

 

I'm currently single, therefore, unavoidably, my guy radar (guy-dar? lol) is back up. It seems that all I see (particularly in my snobby, suburban town) are these guys who are with the typical arm-candy, high maintenance type of women. Why is that exactly? (By arm-candy, I mean the tanned, overly made up, cute, petite girls with no brain that's apparent). Is it just a sex thing? Or do you guys see something (ie; intellectual ability beyond that of signing a credit card slip) that we normal girls cannot?

 

I don't date high-maintenance, arm candy gals.

 

I like the girl next door type!!!

[vonerik012]

LOL.. You are still calling them airheads..

 

And you are actually asking why men date beautiful girls? Is this some trick question?

 

On the flips side, I was out with a group of friends, and some of the girls were all staring at some guy they thought was hot. He was with a plain looking girl. Then they were all asking "Why are good looking men with plain looking girls???"

[vertigocidic]

Thank the lords I'm naturally beautiful! No fake tans or hair highlighting jobs for me!

[D-Lish]

I don't think most cool, down to earth guys put up with super high maintenance, drama oriented girls regardless of how hot they are.

 

Most of the guys I date and have dated would never put up with drama.

[Trialbyfire]

I don't think most cool, down to earth guys put up with super high maintenance, drama oriented girls regardless of how hot they are.

 

Most of the guys I date and have dated would never put up with drama.

Tell me you've never had people who've misjudged you based on your looks, assuming you don't have two thoughts in your brain.

 

It's happened to me enough times that it gets soooo old! If it's someone worthwhile in a social situation, I correct that in a hurry. If it's someone I couldn't care less about, I tend to do the sorority girl act.

 

In a business situation, I play along, then sandbag the other person. It's the first and last time they ever think it!

[Touche]

Thank the lords I'm naturally beautiful! No fake tans or hair highlighting jobs for me!

 

Modesty is an even more attractive trait. Ever heard of that?

[carhill]

Modesty is an even more attractive trait. Ever heard of that?

I don't think Cali(fornia) has heard of that word yet

[Trialbyfire]

Modesty is an even more attractive trait. Ever heard of that?

No matter how naturally beautiful a person is, there's room for improvement. It's up to the individual to decide at what level they're willing to settle.

[vonerik012]

Talk about misogyny...

 

You see a beautiful person and have to rip her down? Why? You have no idea what her IQ is, or what her talents are, or if she is deeply caring or trustworthy. You do not know what kind of life she led, or what problems she has overcome.

 

You see a woman walking and assume she is stupid? Come on...

[Touche]

I don't think Cali(fornia) has heard of that word yet

 

You got that right, honey!

 

(But it's not a phenomenon that is unique to CA.)

[yongyong]

it's like a car.

 

you buy it to show around and have fun. when it becomes old model, you will get a new model.

 

Some women hate that when men treat them as a status symbol but some girls actually wants to be like that.

[KinAZ]

In reading the thread entitled 'Why do women like the bad boys', I came across some interesting stuff. And now have a question of my own...along the same lines of thinking, I suppose.

 

I'm currently single, therefore, unavoidably, my guy radar (guy-dar? lol) is back up. It seems that all I see (particularly in my snobby, suburban town) are these guys who are with the typical arm-candy, high maintenance type of women. Why is that exactly? (By arm-candy, I mean the tanned, overly made up, cute, petite girls with no brain that's apparent). Is it just a sex thing? Or do you guys see something (ie; intellectual ability beyond that of signing a credit card slip) that we normal girls cannot?

 

I have a few friends who try to "keep up appearances" because it is the socially acceptable thing to do. To me, they don't look any more attractive all dolled up than they did before they decided to mainstream themselves. But then again, I'm not a man. However, on the occasion when I do mainstream myself, I do notice a difference in reaction. Maybe we should blame TVs and magazines.

 

These high maintenance women often aren't any prettier than women who aren't. But some, they think it matters what others think of their woman's appearance. Some just enjoy the constant titillation. Some put in a lot of effort, and also want someone who puts in a lot of effort as well.

 

And then there are other little turn ons that some guys are into... like french manicures maybe, and the higher likelihood of the Brazilian wax. Possibly more effort in the naughty attire department as well. Simple girls tend not to bother with these things, at least not on a regular basis.

 

At the same time, just because one is high maintenance, it doesn't mean that she doesn't have much between her ears. Some do it because THEY enjoy it. Some do it because they put a high price tag on the opinions of others and/or appearance in general. And some do it just to keep up with their social settings.

[almost famous]

Modesty is an even more attractive trait. Ever heard of that?

 

You should talk. You were on here bragging about how you were rated second in hotness 100 women in a club.