stillafool Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Dogs are faithful and loyal friends. Men are not!
pelicanpreacher Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Interesting turn on this thread... I'll respond to the questions about why I focus on the infidelity and OW/OM forums tho... Quite frankly, it something I learned a lot about as a result of what my marriage went through. I've never divorced, so what kind of advice can I give on going through that? Dating?...haven't done it outside of my marriage in more than two decades. The religion/philosophy areas? Interesting areas, but frankly nothing more than a debate field...no way to PROVE anything until you're dead...and then there's no value in discussing it further. I COULD post more on the marriage forum, but frankly its always seemed to me that that area is focused on sex as much as anything else...and I'm not interested in discussing anything along those lines outside of my marriage. So that leaves the infidelity and OW/OM forums, with some dabbling in the relationship/seperation sections as the only areas that I can talk about things that I know something about. As the only areas where I can offer support/advice that might actually help someone. As far as the "pain"...you've got to realize something...I'm NOT in pain over what happened in the past anymore. Even posting on these forums doesn't 'hurt' anymore...because my marriage is in a much different place than it used to be. Every once in a while, a story might trigger a twinge...but I can't remember the last one that did. And a BIG part of my posting on this forum is this...if what I went through in the past...the pain that I DID feel...can be used to help someone else AVOID it, or get through their pain faster/sooner/etc...if what I went through can at least benefit someone else...then I'm glad that I can help. Not glad about what I went through...but glad to be able to take that huge negative thing and USE that experience to help someone else in their own situation. I'd have given a LOT to have had some of the "voices of reason" around here give ME support when I was going through hell. So...those are my motives...I'm sure that they'll be called into question again. Simple enough really, when you stop to think about it. Good post Owl but I highly doubt that it will stop the "second guessers" from "second guessing"!
Author Owl Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 I love both MMs and dogs (of the canine kind, anyway) and find a great many similarities: both are full of energy and always up for a good frolicboth show their affection openly and freelyboth are genuinely happy to see you and let you know in no uncertain termsboth come instantly when calledboth love nothing more than a good cuddleboth are sensitive to mood, and will do anything to make you feel betterboth will defend you to the death against any threatboth are loyal and faithful if treated right, but turn vicious or untrustworthy if abusedboth should be treated with respect and not subject to assumptions, e.g. how they will be with childrenboth are adept at communicating non-verballythings are always likely to get pretty wet with them around... (I could go on. And on. But delicious smells are wafting out of the kitching and my MM has just summoned me for a late lunch.... Gotta go!) Owoman, I'm curious about something...I believe that when you wrote this, you were thinking about your CURRENT MM. Would you say that this applied to all of your previous MM's as well?
NoIDidn't Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Owoman, I'm curious about something...I believe that when you wrote this, you were thinking about your CURRENT MM. Would you say that this applied to all of your previous MM's as well? Yeah, I don't know what dogs she knows of that aren't still loyal even when abused? Look at Michael Vicks' dogs. They were still loyal and as abused as abused could get. But I guess it would fit her MM since he was (allegedly) abused by his W, and thus turned "vicious" and "untrustworthy" towards "that woman". LOL.
Tomcat33 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Yeah, I don't know what dogs she knows of that aren't still loyal even when abused? Look at Michael Vicks' dogs. They were still loyal and as abused as abused could get. But I guess it would fit her MM since he was (allegedly) abused by his W, and thus turned "vicious" and "untrustworthy" towards "that woman". LOL. What are you talking about there are plenty dogs that turn viscious and agressive after they are abused, it depends on the breed!! And for the record some of Michael Vicks' dogs were euthanized for agressive behaviour. It depends on the dog. As always in this forum just LOVE the sweeping generalizations!
Author Owl Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 You're welcome, TC. I'm curious...did it support or defuse your theory on my motivations for posting on these forums?
Author Owl Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 And...back on the humor topic: MM is like a dog: Neither normally cares WHO does the work, as long as SOMEBODY is scratching his itch. Unlike a dog: The dog never has to worry about where he left his cell phone!
Tomcat33 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 You're welcome, TC. I'm curious...did it support or defuse your theory on my motivations for posting on these forums? Quite frankly when I posted my comment here I only had in mind that you only post here but looking at your backposts I realised you are actually a fair bit in both forums, the Infidelity one as well so my "perception" was that you were predominantly here since my own focus on your posts has been here. But in fact you distribute your posts rather evenly in both. So that in itself difused my preconceived thoughts.
Tomcat33 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Unlike a dog: The dog never has to worry about where he left his cell phone! :lmao: And on that tip, both a dog and a married man doesn't always come when you call them. But some dogs are better trained than others! And dogs never have to worry about having lipstick on their collar. Married men and dogs get their cojones cut off by their "owners" when it is known that they will be running around.
herenow Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Any thread about dogs is a thread I want to be part of. I love my two beautiful retrievers, but they do shed in bed much more than my H. They also don't return my neck and back rubs like my H does. I love my H, but he isn't as much fun to watch chase a laser light. Guess I'll just keep them all.
Alibi Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Dogs need you to take care of them, feed them, tell them there a good boy, play "bone" with them, and in return they do the the tricks that you had to teach them in the first place. Sounds like any MM to me, loyal or not.
OWoman Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Owoman, I'm curious about something...I believe that when you wrote this, you were thinking about your CURRENT MM. Would you say that this applied to all of your previous MM's as well? Yes. It was a generalised portrait based on my entire back-catalogue of MMs, not just current MM (who loves dogs but is allergic, so we can't have any :()
OWoman Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Yeah' date=' I don't know what dogs she knows of that aren't still loyal even when abused? Look at Michael Vicks' dogs. They were still loyal and as abused as abused could get.[/quote'] I've no idea who Michael Vicks is, so can't comment on that, but I've worked in animal shelters and have adopted several dogs from them. Sadly, several dogs rescued by the shelters have to be euthanased because the abuse has left them vicious and untrustworthy around people. It's also routinely applied by unethical dog trainers in the security industry (which is big in my home country) to get normally loving and placid dogs like dobermans, rottweilers and german shepherds to become "attack dogs". Pit bulls require less mistreatment, as they're inately more aggressive, but no dog is naturally vicious. It's beaten into them. But I guess it would fit her MM since he was (allegedly) abused by his W' date=' and thus turned "vicious" and "untrustworthy" towards "that woman". LOL.[/quote'] On the contrary. My current MM has never been remotely vicious despite all the years of provocation, and nor is he untrustworthy - even his W admitted as much to the kids. My comment - as I said above - wasn't based on my current MM, but on a collective back-catalogue of MMs over the years.
NoIDidn't Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Rescued dogs that are euthanised is not relevant to what I was mentioning. Even abused dogs are loyal to their abusive owners, no? I don't own a dog. I am a cat person myself.
pelicanpreacher Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 I've no idea who Michael Vicks is, so can't comment on that, but I've worked in animal shelters and have adopted several dogs from them. Sadly, several dogs rescued by the shelters have to be euthanased because the abuse has left them vicious and untrustworthy around people. It's also routinely applied by unethical dog trainers in the security industry (which is big in my home country) to get normally loving and placid dogs like dobermans, rottweilers and german shepherds to become "attack dogs". Pit bulls require less mistreatment, as they're inately more aggressive, but no dog is naturally vicious. It's beaten into them. On the contrary. My current MM has never been remotely vicious despite all the years of provocation, and nor is he untrustworthy - even his W admitted as much to the kids. My comment - as I said above - wasn't based on my current MM, but on a collective back-catalogue of MMs over the years. If people would take the time to understand the language of dogs then they would know that no dog need be euthanized because of behavioral issues. The only situation that would require euthanization would be if the animal is too injured or sick to be saved in order to spare its suffering!
Tomcat33 Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Rescued dogs that are euthanised is not relevant to what I was mentioning. Even abused dogs are loyal to their abusive owners, no? I don't own a dog. I am a cat person myself. Actually you are right because the dogs were euthanised after not while they were with MV, to him they were still loyal. You have a point there! I thought some dogs still turned on thier owners for mistreatment, no? So what was the reference then? An abused dog is always loyal to the owner but married men aren't?
2sure Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 What's the difference between a dog and an MM (if any)? As the Dog Whisperer says: "There are no bad dogs, just bad owners" Theres a big one for ya
Author Owl Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 What's the difference between a dog and an MM (if any)? As the Dog Whisperer says: "There are no bad dogs, just bad owners" Theres a big one for ya Yeah...but would you classify that as a difference, or a similarity?? From my perspective...its a DIFFERENCE. Because people can be selfish, self-centered, self-destructive all on their own, without any help from someone else. I've seen affair situations where the marriage was clearly dysfunctional. I've also seen a lot of affairs where there was nothing wrong with the marriage, or with the betrayed spouse...the "issues" that led to the choice to cheat were entirely within the WS. Dogs on the other hand are pretty much always a product of their environment. Their actions and reactions are pretty much always a direct result of the actions/reactions of those around them.
2sure Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Owl - a was stating a Difference for sure!! I have a dog and a husband both with serious flaws - lol While I accept my responsibility for the dogs behavior, my hubby will never get off so easily as being sent to his crate!
Author Owl Posted September 5, 2008 Author Posted September 5, 2008 Owl - a was stating a Difference for sure!! I have a dog and a husband both with serious flaws - lol While I accept my responsibility for the dogs behavior, my hubby will never get off so easily as being sent to his crate! LOL!! I dunno...it sure seems like I've spent a good amount of my 20+ years of marriage "in the doghouse"!
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