Request for comments - ex makes half-hearther attempts to come back...

[nowhereman82]

An old man told me this after sharing that his wife of 20 something years slept with the mail man and he left her.

 

"You can't be angry with your girl, but you can be disappointed. Because in her mind. What she was doing was right at the time"

 

I know it sounds like a load of **** but dependent on your relationship with your ex. They could truly care for you...but for some reason in their mind it seemed right, whatever it is that they did.

 

People use a new person after a break up to hide from and not address the real issues. I spent about 4 weeks alone then met an awesome girl. We dated for about 5 weeks before I ended it.

 

I realized that she was distracting me from personal development and growth and I did not need a distraction in my life at this time.

 

I found out later that my ex came to the same conclusion and left the guy she was seeing.

 

Has your ex had any time to reflect and work on self improvement?

[movingonandon]

An old man told me this after sharing that his wife of 20 something years slept with the mail man and he left her.

 

"You can't be angry with your girl, but you can be disappointed. Because in her mind. What she was doing was right at the time"

 

I know it sounds like a load of **** but dependent on your relationship with your ex. They could truly care for you...but for some reason in their mind it seemed right, whatever it is that they did.

 

People use a new person after a break up to hide from and not address the real issues. I spent about 4 weeks alone then met an awesome girl. We dated for about 5 weeks before I ended it.

 

I realized that she was distracting me from personal development and growth and I did not need a distraction in my life at this time.

 

I found out later that my ex came to the same conclusion and left the guy she was seeing.

 

Has your ex had any time to reflect and work on self improvement?

 

If one day I get past the anger, I might appreciate the old dude's thoughts, i actually believe this is true for most people in most situations - very few people would deliberately choose "evil" - they choose whatever they think makes them happy...

 

My ex needs A LOT of time to figure out her issues - if she ever does, because for now she only denies that she has any at all. The biggest one is her insecurity - both n her love life and in her professional life.

I'm already trying to date though I'm not that into it. Maybe it's too early (just 2 months), but I think I've discovered at least some of the key issues in me (the key-est one being my "god complex" - inability to tolerate faults neither in myself, nor in others - it obvious how this could strain any relationship..)

 

the worst part is that even if they're convinced that they've been doing the right thing (why would they do it otherwise?) actually doing it has consequences that are hard if not impossible to rectify... after all, that's why we're supposed to be humans - o have self-awareness and to understand the implications of what we do...

[nowhereman82]

Well being aware of those issues within yourself and herself are a great first step to doing whats good for yourself