Blu_Eyes225 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 how come when my man uses google.com I cant tell where he has been??? or is there a way......how else can I track him online? is there a program I need to buy???
blair08 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 how come when my man uses google.com I cant tell where he has been??? or is there a way......how else can I track him online? is there a program I need to buy??? Just wondering, but what is it you feel he might be doing to track him for?
Author Blu_Eyes225 Posted August 28, 2008 Author Posted August 28, 2008 well I already know he is addicted to porn if you read my other threads you will know the whole story and he has admitted to visiting escort sites, but in the evenings I attend school and he has access to the pc, he also needs the pc for billing purposes for his job so I cant take the pc away, so I am freaking out cuz lately he started using google.com and I cant see where he has been, and I dont trust him and it is eating away at me!
stillafool Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 If you can't trust him to use Google.com without your knowing which sites he's viewing then you need to let him go. Do you really want a bf you have to police?
blair08 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 well I already know he is addicted to porn if you read my other threads you will know the whole story and he has admitted to visiting escort sites, but in the evenings I attend school and he has access to the pc, he also needs the pc for billing purposes for his job so I cant take the pc away, so I am freaking out cuz lately he started using google.com and I cant see where he has been, and I dont trust him and it is eating away at me! Only you can decide if you feel this relationship is worth trying to find out what he is up to or always wondering what he may or may not be doing. Sounds like that would be very draining for you to do.
Jennifer26 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Read up about codependency. Monitoring him isn't going to make him change, and it definitely won't make you feel better. Just assume until he gets some type of treatment for his addiction he is using porn and looking up escort sites.
Author Blu_Eyes225 Posted August 28, 2008 Author Posted August 28, 2008 I know that you are all so right...I am just having a really hard time with all of this...I did some of my own research on escort sites and I am really annoyed because he made it sound like it was just another porn site but it is like a prostitution ring...but more expensive...well he and I are supposed to meet a counselor on Saturday so I guess until then I really wont know if there is any hope for us....since he admitted to his addiction he has been acting as if everything is normal and it's not, but I have two sons and I dont want to let on there is something wrong between him and I , they dont need to know about this, but still he is acting as if him and I are all good, and it is far from close to being alll good. I am really glad there is this site or I would have lost my mind already!
Trialbyfire Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 The minute he enters a site, there should be history, regardless of what search engine he's using. If you can't find his history, it's because he's deleting it.
stillafool Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Escort services are mostly for prostitution. They are very expensive because of the types of girls and sex they offer. How do you know that your fiance doesn't peruse streets where prostitutes hang out? It seems if you have 2 sons you don't need this guy in your life. I get tired of people talking about a "sexual addiction". We all have a sex drive and some people just call it an addiction to make it look like something they can't control.
Walk Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 http://www.wikihow.com/Recover-Deleted-History-in-Windows http://ask-leo.com/can_internet_explorers_history_be_undeleted.html Or set him up with his own login on your computer, and then filter the sites he's allowed to go to. (parental controls) Password protect the admin login for that computer so he can't change the parental controls. Or you could use a key logger program. Or you could kick his ass to the curb. There is something fundamentally wrong with saying you would take away access to a computer if he didn't need it for work. He's not a child. He's an insensitive a-hole who lied and deceived you. Treat him like an adult, do not treat him like a child who stole a cookie from the cookie jar, or who lied about studying for the history quiz. He took steps to have have sex with prostitutes and LIED TO YOU! He endangered your life! That'd be like me saying I'll have to slap my H on the wrist after he tried to stab me with a steak knife.
Mr. Lucky Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 The minute he enters a site, there should be history, regardless of what search engine he's using. If you can't find his history, it's because he's deleting it. Which answers the OP's original question. The reason his search history or history of websites visited list isn't there is because he is intentionally deleting it... Mr. Lucky
dazed.1 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 The minute he enters a site, there should be history, regardless of what search engine he's using. If you can't find his history, it's because he's deleting it. Also you can program a computer to "clear the cache" (just heard that term have no idea if I'm even using it properly) but basically the computer just deletes temporary files, cookies, web history and passwords etc, automatically, as a way to "save RAM space" (I think). In this case, anything you type into google isn't saved in the memory of the computer. I am pretty sure there is software you can install that will give you the kind of info you want, I believe is makes a copy of everything that is typed into the computer (but I can't remember the name), and I'm sure there is other stuff, just ask the guys at a computer store.
Angel1111 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 He's deleting the history so that you can't track him - Google has nothing to do with it. You've got a serious problem in that you refuse to let go of someone who's so untrustworthy. It's like you don't expect men to be trustworthy, but you do expect to have to monitor him. Even to the point of considering taking the computer away from him if it were possible. That's really sad. Do you know what would happen if you took his computer away? He'd go to the library and use one free of charge, he'd use his phone to text these women, he'd find one at work. Are you getting the picture? He's going to do what he wants to do. The mistake you're making here - among many - is that you keep focusing on him and what he's doing. You cannot control people and you cannot make them do what you want them to do. The sooner you accept that, the better off you'll be. The only thing you can do is decide what YOUR response will be to people's actions. For instance, you can't MAKE someone not cheat on you but what you can do is leave them if it happens. You can't MAKE a guy propose to you, but you can have your own timeline in mind as to what is reasonable for you (using hypotheticals of course). My point is, you cannot make your husband stop doing what he's doing. All you can do is to either 'not accept it and leave', or 'accept it and stay'. You can go to counseling but there's no guarantee that anything will change or that you'll ever trust him again - so you're back to square one again with that (although I'm not saying it isn't worth a try). The option of 'not accepting it and staying' is really not a smart choice. You're letting yourself be so guided by your emotions and by this whole idea that you can't live without him that you can't make a decision one way or another. You want what you want and that's all you can see or act on. And you think you're right. And guess what? So does he. Your 'wants' and his 'wants' totally conflict with one another. Hence the stalemate. But if you really can't live without this guy and you can't control him, then just stay and put up with this nonsense. Ignore it like it doesn't exist. Because if you stay with him, that's the only way you're going have any peace. Your call.
Trialbyfire Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Also you can program a computer to "clear the cache" (just heard that term have no idea if I'm even using it properly) but basically the computer just deletes temporary files, cookies, web history and passwords etc, automatically, as a way to "save RAM space" (I think). In this case, anything you type into google isn't saved in the memory of the computer. I am pretty sure there is software you can install that will give you the kind of info you want, I believe is makes a copy of everything that is typed into the computer (but I can't remember the name), and I'm sure there is other stuff, just ask the guys at a computer store. Thought this only worked if it's a next day situation. Do you know of a way to facilitate this immediately? If so, I'm guessing it would greatly slow down your surfing, since your computer would be deleting useful cookies and cached pages, etc. while you still need them.
norajane Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Thought this only worked if it's a next day situation. Do you know of a way to facilitate this immediately? If so, I'm guessing it would greatly slow down your surfing, since your computer would be deleting useful cookies and cached pages, etc. while you still need them. Depends on your browser. Mozilla Firefox has a box you can check which will clear all that data whenever you close the browser. Tools, Options, Privacy. You can also clear the data at any time during a session by selecting the "Clear Private Data" option on the Tools menu.
stillafool Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 He's deleting the history so that you can't track him - Google has nothing to do with it. You've got a serious problem in that you refuse to let go of someone who's so untrustworthy. It's like you don't expect men to be trustworthy, but you do expect to have to monitor him. Even to the point of considering taking the computer away from him if it were possible. That's really sad. Do you know what would happen if you took his computer away? He'd go to the library and use one free of charge, he'd use his phone to text these women, he'd find one at work. Are you getting the picture? He's going to do what he wants to do. The mistake you're making here - among many - is that you keep focusing on him and what he's doing. You cannot control people and you cannot make them do what you want them to do. The sooner you accept that, the better off you'll be. The only thing you can do is decide what YOUR response will be to people's actions. For instance, you can't MAKE someone not cheat on you but what you can do is leave them if it happens. You can't MAKE a guy propose to you, but you can have your own timeline in mind as to what is reasonable for you (using hypotheticals of course). My point is, you cannot make your husband stop doing what he's doing. All you can do is to either 'not accept it and leave', or 'accept it and stay'. You can go to counseling but there's no guarantee that anything will change or that you'll ever trust him again - so you're back to square one again with that (although I'm not saying it isn't worth a try). The option of 'not accepting it and staying' is really not a smart choice. You're letting yourself be so guided by your emotions and by this whole idea that you can't live without him that you can't make a decision one way or another. You want what you want and that's all you can see or act on. And you think you're right. And guess what? So does he. Your 'wants' and his 'wants' totally conflict with one another. Hence the stalemate. But if you really can't live without this guy and you can't control him, then just stay and put up with this nonsense. Ignore it like it doesn't exist. Because if you stay with him, that's the only way you're going have any peace. Your call. BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO!!!:bunny::bunny:
Trialbyfire Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Depends on your browser. Mozilla Firefox has a box you can check which will clear all that data whenever you close the browser. Tools, Options, Privacy. You can also clear the data at any time during a session by selecting the "Clear Private Data" option on the Tools menu. Gotcha'! I don't use Firefox but will keep it in mind.
disgracian Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Angel1111 has said pretty much all that needs to be said. There are of course ways to track internet usage no matter what browser or settings they use. But they are unlikely to be worth the effort when all is said and done, because the premise that such measures of surveillance rests on are dubious anyway. Cheers, D.
You'reasian Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 well I already know he is addicted to porn if you read my other threads you will know the whole story and he has admitted to visiting escort sites, but in the evenings I attend school and he has access to the pc, he also needs the pc for billing purposes for his job so I cant take the pc away, so I am freaking out cuz lately he started using google.com and I cant see where he has been, and I dont trust him and it is eating away at me! Hi Blu, You need to talk to your man.
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