base618 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Well, I found myself lurking around here again, and it’s starting to become clear why. I am 10 months out from finding my wife cheating with a co-worker while we were in the midst of fertility treatments. They’ve since gone off to another city together, the divorce was finalized a few months ago, and I’m only a few weeks away from completing the process of buying her half of the house. I had been doing really well, in shape, going to the gym, happy, meeting people, etc. I rarely thought about her or the divorce. For some reason, I’m relapsing and the past 2 months or so have been tough. I’ve put back on weight, lost motivation, and starting to wonder about my ex in her new life, is she happy, miserable, etc. I don’t know if it’s common for such a long time out to start thinking these things again. Don’t get me wrong, she is selfish, a liar, and a cheat, and that will never change, and I’m better off without her. I guess the problem is, I find myself in a position where I don’t know what’s next. I was all set to settle down and start the family, that was the plan for years. It’s been so long since I’ve dated, or met someone, starting to feel like it will never happen. Part of my problem is that prior to meeting my ex, if I would have described my “perfect woman”, it was her. From the way she looked, profession, quirks, etc. Now when I meet people, I find myself comparing, and I’m finding turnoffs in everyone I meet. Also, it kills me that she is off happy in her new life. She kept my last name, and I don’t know how she signs her name, or hears it and not think of the absolute torture she put me through. But, I keep reminding myself that she has no guilt, because she is not a good person, and she will “get hers” in the end, but she has a way of rubbing things in my face that she’s so happy. I needed some insurance documentation from her, she made a point to say it would have to wait, that they’re leaving in the am for a long weekend together, wtf? She couldn’t just say it’ll have to wait until Tuesday? In a few weeks, when the mortgage stuff is taken care of, there will be no need to communicate. I am really looking forward to that. I just really don’t know how someone can be married and trying to have a baby one day, and literally 1 month later, be living with someone else and moving to a new city together. It makes me mad that she doesn’t have to go through what I’m going through, the uncertainty of not knowing if I’ll ever meet someone, not knowing what the future holds, she’s off happy and never missed a beat. Ugh, don’t even think I asked a question at all… just needed to vent and get back on the right track.
glynnroy Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Well, I found myself lurking around here again, and it’s starting to become clear why. I am 10 months out from finding my wife cheating with a co-worker while we were in the midst of fertility treatments. They’ve since gone off to another city together, the divorce was finalized a few months ago, and I’m only a few weeks away from completing the process of buying her half of the house. I had been doing really well, in shape, going to the gym, happy, meeting people, etc. I rarely thought about her or the divorce. For some reason, I’m relapsing and the past 2 months or so have been tough. I’ve put back on weight, lost motivation, and starting to wonder about my ex in her new life, is she happy, miserable, etc. I don’t know if it’s common for such a long time out to start thinking these things again. Don’t get me wrong, she is selfish, a liar, and a cheat, and that will never change, and I’m better off without her. I guess the problem is, I find myself in a position where I don’t know what’s next. I was all set to settle down and start the family, that was the plan for years. It’s been so long since I’ve dated, or met someone, starting to feel like it will never happen. Part of my problem is that prior to meeting my ex, if I would have described my “perfect woman”, it was her. From the way she looked, profession, quirks, etc. Now when I meet people, I find myself comparing, and I’m finding turnoffs in everyone I meet. Also, it kills me that she is off happy in her new life. She kept my last name, and I don’t know how she signs her name, or hears it and not think of the absolute torture she put me through. But, I keep reminding myself that she has no guilt, because she is not a good person, and she will “get hers” in the end, but she has a way of rubbing things in my face that she’s so happy. I needed some insurance documentation from her, she made a point to say it would have to wait, that they’re leaving in the am for a long weekend together, wtf? She couldn’t just say it’ll have to wait until Tuesday? In a few weeks, when the mortgage stuff is taken care of, there will be no need to communicate. I am really looking forward to that. I just really don’t know how someone can be married and trying to have a baby one day, and literally 1 month later, be living with someone else and moving to a new city together. It makes me mad that she doesn’t have to go through what I’m going through, the uncertainty of not knowing if I’ll ever meet someone, not knowing what the future holds, she’s off happy and never missed a beat. Ugh, don’t even think I asked a question at all… just needed to vent and get back on the right track. Well let her be happy ,you need her to see you being happy the next time she sees you,what I would do is be over nice to her and when you see her tell her I hope she is happy in her knew life,dont let her see you crying or pining to get her back,you will have the last laugh mate I can assure you,her happiness is short lived,as if she is a cheat and a lier,the other guy will find out ver soon and you can look back and say Im glad its not me.
Recommended Posts