Rocinante Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 This story is somewhat long. Okay, I met this woman at the cusp of the end of my marriage, and she is a coworker. I met her when she was not in my department, and we were involved for a time, then she got a job where I work. Eventually, the drama of getting a divorce herself, and me going through a divorce, was too much and she dumped me for another guy in our department (who was and still is married - he promised he would leave his wife for her.) She lied to me about this relationship. I was angry for a couple months, then let it go. Eventually my soon-to-be went to her mom's for a while, and I was alone, so I started talking to this girl again. I discovered she had not been seeing the other guy for a while. So, we hit it off, and were eventually together. Things were different due to the divorce circumstances, and changing rapidly. Eventually the other guy took notice and got jealous, and within a couple months tried to get her back. She dumped me again, it lasted a week. She realized it was the same old thing with him, and when we were hanging out she tested the waters with 'you wouldn't take me back anyway.' but I would, and told her so. I am very easygoing. We were back together, and it lasted for about a month before she became very jealous of my and my soon-to-be, because I have decided to financially support her while she goes to school (for her benefit and our young daughter's.) She criticized me for doing this, and talked badly about my soon-to-be. She also did not accept certain things about me, and did not respect me. So I told her we might take some time apart. A week went by, and I asked her if she wanted to get back together. She said it would not work, that she was in love with someone else. Guess who...yes, the original other guy. I would like to know what people think this says about her. I feel like, since she has a lousy relationship with her soon-to-be, that she feels jealous I have a fantastic relationship with mine. Not sure what else it means.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 It means that you should actually open your eyes for once and realize that the woman is a cheater and she was playing you around like a puppet. That's why she cheated on you and continuously went back to the same guy again and again. She has nothing to be jealous about.
Author Rocinante Posted August 28, 2008 Author Posted August 28, 2008 I know she is a cheater, she cheated on her husband with me. Why wouldn't she cheat on me? Thing that gets me, she tells me she loves me, wants only to be with me, tells the other guy the same things, tells me the world. It all sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Then her jealousy and whatnot gets to me and I tell her let's cool it. Suddenly she's all in love with him again. I guess what I want to know is what does this mean vis-a-vis her personality? I know she doesn't like herself, and she is non confident, and immature with respect to relationships. I feel that she attracts men who are vulnerable and weak willed, and since I am neither anymore, she can't own me. How long will a guy put up with a woman like that though? He can't be looking at a long future with her. He's got two kids and a wife, at the end of the day he goes home and spends time with them, not her.
norajane Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 How long will a guy put up with a woman like that though? I don't know - how long have you been putting up with her, and how long will you continue to want her, and how many times will you continue to take her back?
Author Rocinante Posted August 28, 2008 Author Posted August 28, 2008 Like I said, I am very easygoing, and I am at a time in my life that I evaluate my options more instead of being so impulsive. I really loved her, and it was honest and true. But I did give her three chances with promises each time from her, and she blew it. I like myself, and I think I am a good, loving, loyal guy (I've learned from my past) and I think she is a fool to give me up for someone who is dodgy. That said, unless there is a miracle personality change and she matures instantly, I am done with taking her back. I feel a lot of compassion for her though, I feel pity. I know what it is like to not like yourself so much that you will associate with those who are also messes.
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