JustSo Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I'm a bit confused.. I know that there isn't much chance of getting her back, so I'm trying to be friends with her (I know it's not the best idea) .. and I think I maybe pushing it.. My ex-gf has a hard time studying for her exams.. and I thought I just send her a message, asking how she is and if she needed any help.. and because when we meet we still hug eachother I put as 'Hugs' at the end of the message... She didn't respond at all.. And now I thinking too much... why didn't she respond? Is she just in a bad mood, or ignoring me, or is she trying to send a message of "leave me alone" I know this all sounds really stupid and clingy.. Don't even know anymore why I send that message in the first place.. Did I really mad a bad move by sending that message? Getting a bit paranoia me thinks..
gd26 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I think you are 'wanting too much'. If you were really just friends, then you probably wouldn't think over it too much if she didn't reply. But the reality seems to be that you still want her attention and validation, and that's why it bothers you that she didn't reply. You can't do that to yourself. I'm sure she does appreciate your thoughtfulness in wishing her good luck on her exams. However, just understand that she's busy right now, and don't send her messages with the hopes of pulling her back. Just respect her space. If in the future she is receptive to getting back with you, then you can always try at that time. Protect your own heart. I know (from my own experience) that we say we want to be friends with our exes (as we really want them back)... but evaluate if this is really good for you or not. You may just need to take time away from the whole friendship until your heart heals. If there is really no chance of you and her working things out, then only be friends with her once you are truly over her and are no longer trying to win her back.
Mending1985 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I can't stress this point enough....if you are putting hugs at the end of messages etc. you still have feelings for her which means you really can't be "friends" right now. The balance is totally off, and subconciously you will do "boyfriend" things towards her, and it will just get messy. I know you obviously care about her, but if you want to be friends with her down the track, you need to go away and get over her first... I have spent nearly 2 years trying to be "friends" with my ex and I always slip up, and he's at the point where he doesn't have as high an opinion of me and is a bit sick of it, and trust me you don't want to go there. Sorry if this is too blunt, but if I can stop anyone going through what I have, it'll be worth it.
Author JustSo Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 thx for your advices.. I know I want more than just friends.. Last week we were talking about going on vacation for a week together as 'just friends'. Which isn't a good idea and I said that to her aswell. But when I put 'hugs' in a message she freaks out and ignores me? wtf.. But I will try to do the right thing. There is no point in wasting energy, if you already know you lost the battle.. Time to wait for the rematch, if ever... Maybe I don't want enough what I want, otherwise I would do the things I need to do to get it..
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