D-D Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I have worked with a woman at my job for about 7 months that I am interested in. We have a lot in common as we are roughly the same age (mid-late 20s), both single, religious, both have lost a parent, and we both want to get married and have kids. Only major overt difference between us is I am Catholic and she is Mormon. I wouldn't say that we are die-hard religious, but we both go to church and try to follow our religions for the most part. She follows the moromon faith and doesn't drink alcohol or caffeine (something I obviosly don't do). One of the other guys at work has always bugged me about when I'm going to ask her out, claiming that we are perfect for each other (due to the above similarities). He claims that he "knows that she would go out with me" if I asked. Not sure if she told him this or if he is just trying to be encouraging. I think she likes me. I always get a big smile and a hello when I see her and she seems to be pretty touchy with me. I walked into work the other day and she started rubbing my right shoulder when I said hi. She has come up behind me and touched me on the shoulders and sorta started massaging me before. She also seems to give me a friendly tap on the back when she passes me. Not sure if this is some kind of flirting or if she does this to everyone (other co-workers say she doesn't ever touch them)? I am definately attracted to her (she is incredibly beautiful and a wonderful person), but I am not sure it would work out. For one thing the religion thing will be hard to work out if it becomes serious (i.e. marriage & kids). There are a lot of differences between the Catholic and Mormon faiths and lifestyles. Second, it's a work relationship, so if it doesn't work out it will be akward (though we actually don't see each other much at work as we are in different areas). I've been struggling with whether it is worth trying something here or if I should look elsewhere? I hate being single and I really don't meet people or go on dates often so I'd hate to pass up this oportunity on the off-chance it turns into something great. If we were both Catholics (or a more mainstream christian religion) I would have asked her out long ago. Just looking for some feedback. Should I bother asking her out and see what happens or should I not ask her out as the relationship is risky and not likely to go anywhere serious??? Has anyone had a successful Catholic/Mormon relationship? Thanks! (I originally posted this in a business relationships section, but couldn't figure how to delete the other post??? Hoping to get better response here.)
Suiyobi Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Eventually you two will have to have a serious talk with each other and from there hopefully you'll find out exactly how "open-minded" you two are, considering your different faiths and the fact that you two are co-workers.
paddington bear Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Ask the guy in work if she said something specific to him about you. If she has then you know for sure she likes you. Ask her on a date, nothing to datey, just coffee or something casual and try and just be honest, tell her you're attracted to her and would like to get to know her better, but are worried about the differences you mentioned and because you work together. From her response you can figure out how to proceed from there. If you're open and don't make too big a deal of the situation and if it's a no-go, you shouldn't feel too awkward seeing her in work again and can continue to be friendly to her while focusing your efforts on finding someone else. As regards the religious thing, personally I would never get involved with someone who is very religious (I am a lapsed Catholic myself) or someone from a very different religious background as I do think strongly held beliefs can foster major problems down the line, but again, you won't know any of this until you talk to her. Good luck!
Lucky_One Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Make sure first that it is not against company policy to date other co-workers. Sometimes it is a no-no no mater what, and sometimes it is ok as long as neither of you are in direct report to each other. Some companies don't care at all. I don't see any problem with it, as long as you keep your personal life out of the workplace. I hate when one of my co-workers is dating our supervisor; they are always disappearing somewhere and she never gets yelled at in management meetings. They spend all day IMing too, and that is irritating just in general. And THEN, after all that, THEN you worry about marriage.
rod_in_gtown Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I can't tell you that it will work out but there are many interfaith relationships out there and I can't really think of why you wouldn't be tolerant towards each other. Tolerance is one of the tenets in both religions. I think you might be taking this a step too far right now since you haven't even gone out with her yet. Ask her out. Maybe herbal teas since she doesn't do caffeine or alcohol, maybe lunch? since you guys work together it's a possiblity. And go from there. See if she wants to go to the park sometime or play a sport. But the words you regret the most are the ones you never say. BTW, it souds to me like she's very much into you, the physical contact in the office is a big sign. At least you know she doesn't find you repulsive. I say go for it.
A.G.Doren Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I agree pretty much with everyone. I'd be willing to bet your religions have more in common than you think.
Author D-D Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 BTW, it souds to me like she's very much into you, the physical contact in the office is a big sign. At least you know she doesn't find you repulsive. I was wondering that. I have always had female friends (plutonic), but I haven't met a woman who has been as touchy as this toward me. I thought maybe it was her personality, but she doesn't seem to do it to anyone else, at least that I am aware of. And thank you everyone for your thoughts! I realize that maybe it sounds foolish asking about the potential for marriage when there hasn't even been a date. Obviously I could ask her out and she could say no and that could be the end of it. I am the kind of person who is always three steps ahead. Maybe I'll try and see where it goes.
Author D-D Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 I've been going over this in my head constantly and I think I have to ask her out and give it a shot (just for my own peace of mind). I wanted to ask her out in person at work, but I don't want everyone at work knowing about us (I'm afraid some one would overhear us or walk in on me when I ask). It seems really unlikely that we will ever get a chance to be alone, out of the view of our other co-workers. I have her number, but I don't normally call her (only talk occasionally at work). Do you think it would be OK if I phoned her and asked her on a date?
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