Melrapuo Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 So right after my ex and I broke up, I kind've tried to see if I could date other people. Keep in mind, this was only 2 weeks after she dumped me for another guy, and I was in such a ****ty emotional state that I could've been told by her to jump off a bridge and I would've done it if that meant us getting back together. Anyway, I ended up asking a girl out for coffee. This was a girl I had a crush on in high school (way back in middle school, actually). She's very nice, sweet, seems to be someone who is reliable and lives a more steady life than anything else. In a way, she seems like she's more of the opposite of my ex. And its kind of weird, cuz she messaged me over facebook saying Hi to me only a couple days before my ex left me. Fate? /shrug. Coffee went for two hours. I felt weird actually getting coffee, since I hate it. But I figured it was something simple and small. I was doing it really just to catch up with her and see whats been going on with her life. What I figured would be maybe a half hour ended up being around 2 hours of talking. She seemed pretty nervous when we met up; her leg was shaking a pretty good amount. And there were a few moments of random silence, but the two of us were trying to come up with other things to say and be nice to each other (we hadn't seen each other in like...8 years). It was cool seeing her again. Afterwards we parted ways. At first I felt like ****, because at this point my self esteem was already in the crapper since I was just dumped. That and I figured that things didn't go so well between us. I obviously didn't mention anything about the break up with me and my ex, but I didn't pursue anything with her because I knew I was still emotionally devoted to my ex. About a week after meeting, I get a message over facebook from the girl. She says something along the lines of "Sorry, its been a busy week. Here's my number if you ever wanna hang out again." Not the exact words, but like that. I was kinda surprised; didn't expect to hear from her, but I did give her my number as well. But then again, I still wasn't in any state to date. That was about um...2 months ago-ish? Something like that. I haven't spoken to her since. My question is, is it too late to pursue this? I didn't at first cuz I knew I wouldn't be into it, and it wouldn't be fair to her. But the more I think about it, the more I've become fond of the idea of seeing if she wanted to date. Then again, I don't even know how to start. Should I just randomly call her? Maybe text her? I don't even know if she's back at school yet or not, and she's rarely online. Sorry, new to the actual dating scene. Things just kinda worked out with me and my ex.
JoeNewbie Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 There is no absolute answer to your question. Just call her if you feel like it.
2sunny Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 if i were you i'd give it a shot... if it works out in the long run you can explain it to her way down the road. she'll be grateful that you wanted to wait to be emotionally available when you tell her at that time. shows maturity from my perspective. good job.
garnet Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I definitely think you should contact her. Beginnings can be really bumpy sometimes, especially when both people like each other but may not be sure of what the other is thinking and feeling. I would just be honest and sincere with her, and I have a feeling she'll understand. If I were in her shoes, I'd be willing to give you a chance. You have nothing to lose.
shockandawed Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Yes, call her and be completely honest. She will appreciate that. If nothing else, she will be happy that it wasn't her. Just be aware that her availability may have changed in this period, you have to be cool with it and just leave the door open if it has.
A.G.Doren Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Yes, call her and be completely honest. She will appreciate that. If nothing else, she will be happy that it wasn't her. Just be aware that her availability may have changed in this period, you have to be cool with it and just leave the door open if it has. What he said.And keep in mind if you don't call her you'll never know. Also good on you for wanting to get into a better mental state before getting into a relationship. Lots of people don't and the consequences are disasterous.
Author Melrapuo Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Just updating the situation on this. Well, not updating. More like explaining why there IS no situation as of yet. I haven't called her, since there are hesitations I have. We seemed to get along well when we talked, but I noticed from her myspace (when I still had it) that she is VERY religious. Like...all about God. I don't know why this might be a dilemma for me, but it is. I'm not very religious, and I'm hoping that this wouldn't be a problem if it went anything beyond hanging. And what if she's celibate? o.O I know from facebook that tomorrow is her birthday. Was gonna wish her a happy birthday, and apologize for not contacting her cuz my summer was busy (thats the reason for now). And I'm having a tough time figuring out what to exactly do to hang out with her. I don't have a car. My old car was totalled by some lovely lady who felt she needed to turn it into a tin can two years ago, and I'm having a rough time finding a cheap car these days. I'm embarrassed that I don't have a vehicle. : / Suggestions? I'm not good with conversations over the phone. I'm naturally quiet when I'm shy, even though people who first see me tend to think I'm a very talkative person. Eesh.
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