sultry33 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 lol i want a real crystal ball its not much to ask;) i have no patience at all.. during the 1st few weeks i must have willed him to text me at least a 100 times.. then i would try push feeling away an get busy..
Author Mending1985 Posted August 28, 2008 Author Posted August 28, 2008 See at least you only WILLED him, I goaded mine into discussion after discussion after discussion! It was terrible. I threatened to kill myself, I cried, I said I was scared, a variety of excuses to talk to him and I look back now and I know WHY I did it, but I'm still ashamed...but the good thing is I know I will NEVER be that way again. No man will ever have that much power over me in this lifetime again.
sultry33 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 hey that was when we both decided to go nc.. believe me i was terrible at the start.. i did all that you said.. sent him messages non stop, we had many a text row lol he would say he still loved me more.. id say how when you left me? we was just both hurting.. it is human nature so dont feel ashamed or embarrased.. i dont .. i feel a fool sometimes as i think it may not work out but i cant help hoping it will.. hope is a bad thing as it keeps you there.. but if its meant to be it will be.. im just taking it slow.. nc will help you.. tell yourself that:)
Author Mending1985 Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 I know NC will help me...it will help me get my self esteem back at the very least, and I know he will re-gain a lot of respect for me as well which is just a bonus
ahhhchooo Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I threatened to kill myself oh no!! aww that has really gotta hurt now...
Author Mending1985 Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 Not so much as the fact that I actually DID try to kill myself and the hospital called him because he was my next of kin...that was a bit shameful cuz he arrived as they were pumping my stomach...attractive
Author Mending1985 Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 If anyone wants a NC buddy, I would be up for that (and it would help me out too ) My email is [email protected]
sultry33 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 i felt that way too but my children helped me get through it.. had to be strong for them.. one day i just thought im worth more than this im getting off my butt and working on me.. had my hair done, felt good.. positive thinking.. met few hot guys.. nothing happened but just feeling wanted made me feel better;) sometimes i feel like i have gone back in time 4 yrs as im doing the same as i was then before him.. he kinda rescued me.. difference is this time i dont need it;) im partying for me now and one thing i learned is never make someone your world.. cus one day they may leave.. im known to be hard to get.. damn impossible lol just with him i cannot be like that.. wish i could sometimes.. but my belly flips all the time with him.. ive yet to meet anyone that comes close.. he is not everyones cup of tea infact to most he would most def not be lol but to me he is .. one day i will be gone so he best get his butt in gear if he wants me for good.. i add you to msn as i know how tough nc can be in 1st stages.. hugs to you x
citizen67 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 I'm still ashamed. Mending - it is so important to forgive yourself. I have not handled my breakup very well, so I know the feeling of shame coupled with the despair of heartbreak. You are human. Its okay. I wish you peace
Author Mending1985 Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 i add you to msn as i know how tough nc can be in 1st stages.. hugs to you x I'll give you my msn then [email protected] Thanks sultry
Author Mending1985 Posted August 30, 2008 Author Posted August 30, 2008 Mending - it is so important to forgive yourself. I have not handled my breakup very well, so I know the feeling of shame coupled with the despair of heartbreak. You are human. Its okay. I wish you peace Thanks citizen...I forget sometimes that its okay to make mistakes...thanks for the reminder
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