megapositive Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 What does it feel like to be on the receiving end of NC? I've read tons of posts regarding going NC, but haven't read about what it's like to have it done to you. Please share your experiences here!
Tripped up Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Well, I am having it done to me and at the same time doing it to her. It feels horrible, but I notice it getting slightly better each day. It still hurts, but I refuse to call and make the first move. Also, even tho it hurts, I feel as though I need it to make myself whole again.
BCCA Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Well, I went NC on my ex, and she hasnt tried to make any attempts to contact me. She even had the key to my place, and simply sent it US Mail without so much as a "here you are" attached. To be honest, its hard to say because I wasnt the one who ended it, but her NC on me flat out sucks. It doesnt feel so great that some one you cared about doesnt have the energy or want to even make a call or send a text. But, its better in the long run.
CaliGuy Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 It feels like "freedom" to me. If you don't want to be with me, then don't confuse me by making contact. Consider NC as a blessing. It allows you to move on and heal in the shortest amount of time. Mixed signals only serve to keep you from healing.
Author megapositive Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 Well, I am having it done to me and at the same time doing it to her. It feels horrible, but I notice it getting slightly better each day. It still hurts, but I refuse to call and make the first move. Also, even tho it hurts, I feel as though I need it to make myself whole again. Are you hoping to get back together with her or are you broken up for good?
Author megapositive Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 Well, I went NC on my ex, and she hasnt tried to make any attempts to contact me. She even had the key to my place, and simply sent it US Mail without so much as a "here you are" attached. To be honest, its hard to say because I wasnt the one who ended it, but her NC on me flat out sucks. It doesnt feel so great that some one you cared about doesnt have the energy or want to even make a call or send a text. But, its better in the long run. Wow, no note with the key -- that was cold. Why is she so angry with you, if you don't mind sharing?
Tripped up Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Time will tell. I am not thinking that going NC will bring her to her senses. I am preparing to never be with her again. I have done all that I can do to this point to try and show her that I care. Our relationship was one of me taking care of her....emotionally, mentally, financialy and physically for a year and a half. A month and a half ago I kissed another girl.(drunk...first time ever...blah blah...reguardless, horrible of me). She left me. There has been so much stress between us that I am not holding much hope of there ever being a future. We have just recently been going NC. Even though she never said she wanted that, it just seems that is her intent.....to get over me. So the NC, is for me. For a month after the break up I was hanging on, going to see her, kissing her. At one point we were even trying to work things out.....staying a week at a time with her. Then all of a sudden BAM, doesnt want to see me, and will not call me. Perhaps another guy, perhaps not. Basiclly, my point is that had I started NC a long time ago I would be that much further ahead. I am sure someday down the road I will get a phone call as a friend, asking how I am doing. Or maybe wanting to get something to eat. Doing NC now, will make me preparred for when/if that phone call comes. And if it never comes, then I will be much more preparred for the next girl that walks into my life. And I promise, I will never make the same mistake twice. Hang in there. Even tho we dont feel it now, we are doing the best for US. Have hope, but move yourself to be ready for reality.
BCCA Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Wow, no note with the key -- that was cold. Why is she so angry with you, if you don't mind sharing? For four years, all I did was treat this woman with the upmost respect and consideration. I adored her in every way, and always did what I could to make her happy. I never cheated, yelled at her, belittled her, or anything else. Even after she broke my heart, I reached out a couple weeks later with an email to say hi and ask if maybe we could meet for coffee. She said "not yet" which to me means no unless Im really bored one day and youll fill the void. To answer your question, she isnt so much angry as she is selfish and immature. She called me at WORK at about 11am to dump me, and I tried to tell her hold on I'll just head over to talk, but she refused. Basically, shes being a total b***h to me because she feels guilty for basically lying to me about how she felt, and doesnt want to be reminded of the horrible way shes treated me. I did nothing to anger her. If anything, I bent over backwards to make her happy. But this is what I get...
Tripped up Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I truly believe that our relationship had become bad for me. Looking back on it. But I kept hoping that she would get her S**T together so we could move forward. She never did. But I kept hanging in there. Even after she broke up with me the first time, and did some horrible things....I hung in there. I believe that sometimes god gives me reason to leave and expects me to listen to him. Then when I dont listen.....He kicks me in the head and makes me listen. Thats kinda what this feels like now.....I am being forced to look at the entire relationship.....and being told to move on. Whether its by my choice.....or a kick in the head.....something always seems to get you where you need to go....
df273 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 yea, i could of used some of those "kicks in the head" a few times myself. but yea, i'm giving her NC, and in turn receiving it as well. she dumped me, has a new guy she met on myspace, he moved from 300miles away 3weeks after she dumped me. i guess 3.5yrs means nothing when in comes to myspace.
Author megapositive Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 For four years, all I did was treat this woman with the upmost respect and consideration. I adored her in every way, and always did what I could to make her happy. I never cheated, yelled at her, belittled her, or anything else. Even after she broke my heart, I reached out a couple weeks later with an email to say hi and ask if maybe we could meet for coffee. She said "not yet" which to me means no unless Im really bored one day and youll fill the void. To answer your question, she isnt so much angry as she is selfish and immature. She called me at WORK at about 11am to dump me, and I tried to tell her hold on I'll just head over to talk, but she refused. Basically, shes being a total b***h to me because she feels guilty for basically lying to me about how she felt, and doesnt want to be reminded of the horrible way shes treated me. I did nothing to anger her. If anything, I bent over backwards to make her happy. But this is what I get... Well, it seems like the NC is your best way to move on then. I'm sorry she is acting this way, although I guess it'll make you get over her faster in the long run?
Author megapositive Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 yea, i could of used some of those "kicks in the head" a few times myself. but yea, i'm giving her NC, and in turn receiving it as well. she dumped me, has a new guy she met on myspace, he moved from 300miles away 3weeks after she dumped me. i guess 3.5yrs means nothing when in comes to myspace. That is awful. Why are some people so weak that they can't break up when they feel things aren't going to work out? Why do they wait until they meet someone else and then break up? It's so cruel!
BCCA Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Well, it seems like the NC is your best way to move on then. I'm sorry she is acting this way, although I guess it'll make you get over her faster in the long run? My dad gave me a great quote: "When you decide to walk the high road, expect to do so alone" I take solace in the fact that I was good to her, and that one day she'll have to face the guilt. Some people can lie to themselves for a while, blame it all on circumstance or whatever. "Im not such a bad person even though I did bad things". But you can only run away from yourself for so long before you come face to face with the choices you made. Maybe Ill never hear from her again. Maybe shell never realize how cold and rude shes been, or maybe she can justify it. Maybe shell be selfish forever and wont care. From my end, this is done, and thats all that counts.
df273 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 well said. i think im going to have to steal the quote from you and your father. it makes sense on so many levels. everything you just said there.
d2darow Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 it's true. NC is like a blessing. A good stepping stone. Cause believe you me, if you DO keep in touch and etc, you'll only end up confused and start having the old "I miss her and want her back" feelings. Especially, if she was the one who broke up with you, for a small or no apparent reason. Why give the assurance that you're still not over her? She'll only use it to her advantage, feeling superior, knowing she has you no matter what. NC is one way of saying "I've moved on bish, now leave me alone" Well, here of course, I'm clearly speaking on my behalf. Like my previous post said, it is tough. I was bloody in love with her, and she ended it just like that. I won't go into detail, cause I already did so in another post. The memories occasionally does swarm in, plus, I'm in the same college as her, so seeing her doesn't really help. But then, I push all thoughts of her away, don't even give her a glance, and the bottom line is, she's DEAD to me. A mere distant past, a bad dream if you may.
Scooter25 Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 This is a great question. I always felt bad when I just picked up and stopped talking to my ex. I did say to her in our last conversation that it was going to be difficult for us to be friends, but she never really understood and constantly e-mailed and texted me. I can safely say she eventually got the picture because I haven't heard from her in a while but I always felt bad for not really giving her an explantaion on why I stopped talking to her.
0hpenelope Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I implemented NC and so far, Lawrence hasn't gotten in touch with me. So I guess, in that way, I'm also on the receiving end of NC from him. Reality, it hurts. I still miss him - but I'm never on my butt dwelling on him! I'm in contact with a fellow LS who's been super awesome in keeping my thoughts and feelings in check. There are days that are low and days that are just the best. NC's not easy, but for my goals? Going through the hard parts is worth it.
0hpenelope Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I implemented NC and so far, Lawrence hasn't gotten in touch with me. So I guess, in that way, I'm also on the receiving end of NC from him. Reality, it hurts. I still miss him - but I'm never on my butt dwelling on him! I'm in contact with a fellow LS who's been super awesome in keeping my thoughts and feelings in check. There are days that are low and days that are just the best. NC's not easy, but for my goals? Going through the hard parts is worth it.
chacha7 Posted August 30, 2008 Posted August 30, 2008 I am the one who was broken up with, walked out on when I was crying, and I refuse to contact him. It's been a week and I am also on the receiving end of NC. I know that I should not be the first to contact bc he broke up with me bc I wouldn't do an ultimatum that he gave me, I would only compromise to do as much of it as possible. He didn't want to compromise so he walked out, and not a call or email since. NC is just very confusing though, like feelings of why isn't he calling or maybe he's over me, or maybe he broke up with me for someone else, or doesn't care, or is just hurting to and doesn't know what to say. Either way I am waiting one more week to see if he calls me to ask about my student teaching which starts next week. I just feel like it would be rude not to ask bc it is such a major step and Ive been talking about it forever. Student teaching is such a blessing right now though bc it will be a great distraction from all of this, I can't wait until this long weekend is over! The other confusing part about NC is thinking about what would I do if he called. Pick up, be angry, cry a lot, say goodbye? I don't really want to do any of those. I am keeping strong though and I am glad I haven't called, I know it would just confuse things but its just very weird bc we used to talk everyday.
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