Why so secretive about relationship status?

[Balthazar]

Today I had a cup of coffee with an ex-colleague I met a couple of years back.

Last summer, after my break-up, I had asked her out to dinner and she had initially accepted, only to cancel a while later, explaining that she felt uncomfortable as she was in a relationship.

No problem; In fact, her honesty was appreciated.

 

A few days ago, I called her(to give her some paperwork from business we had 2 years back) and as we had to meet, she proposed we meet at my office then go for coffee.

 

Earlier today, she came by the office, got the papers and I suggested we go to Starbuck's for coffee.

She was a bit more non-chalant than on the phone, but agreed.

She insisted on paying as it was her turn to treat(it was).

 

I find her attractive but she did not seem very inviting. Conversation was just OK, but not flowing.

I asked her about her vacation and summer, but she hasn't gone anywhere, saying she had work.

 

I tried to find out her relationship status with the possibility of asking her out, but she gave no hints and I felt it out of place to come out and ask her.

 

Furthermore, she had ,effectively, limited the coffee meeting by stating at the start that she had an errand to run after, and I was busy too so I ended it after about 30 minutes or so.

 

We parted and I really couldn't understand her motives.

Why go out for coffee when we could have just exchanged papers at the office and said goodbye?

 

She never mentioned if she is still with her BF, and gave me no "go" or "stop" signals.

 

I have an opinion but I would like to hear yours on these two questions.

 

1) Should I ask her out?

(Keep in mind I don't know what her situation is and she didn't really offer any openings during coffee.)

 

2) Why are many women unclear/secretive/vague about their relationship status?

 

Thanks for reading,

[JoeNewbie]

Since you've already asked her out once, I wouldn't ask again. Although you have little to lose in this situation, really.

 

As for the relationship status, most people don't go around telling others about their personal lives.

[Balthazar]

Yes, I agree.

And I don't plan on asking her out since she did not give a clear and positive signal, which would have been quite easy for her to do.

As for relationship status, we may not be close enough to discuss duch things, but a mention of a BF(in passing) is easily done and clears up the situation IMO.

[JoeNewbie]

Yes, I agree.

And I don't plan on asking her out since she did not give a clear and positive signal, which would have been quite easy for her to do.

As for relationship status, we may not be close enough to discuss duch things, but a mention of a BF(in passing) is easily done and clears up the situation IMO.

 

Well, she did not hint at the fact that she no longer has a BF - so that clears it up IMO...

[engravefeelthevoid]

mm..Well man i guess u know the situation better...I think you should try to meet a friend of hers...a female friend or a collegue at work...get closer to them and ask them if the woman ur interested in is dating anyone...i can't get a clear vision of what she's thinking and I have several explanations...I mean she's giving u mixed signals...but on the other hand...remember that you were the one who asked her for the coffee..maybe she agreed just out of courtesy or she was just being a lady...yet she mght be playing hard to get...but I dought it because a busy woman like her won't have time to play hard to get..(who knows)......my best advice is get to know her friends and ask them...CIA style

 

and about asking her out...u said u did it once ??? mmm...don't ask a girl out if she doesnt have feelings or attrations towards you...that is zero attraction..BUT if u feel shes a little in to you...go for it (as in 1% attraction or more)

 

so again...KNOW...then act !!!