Woggle Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I dont' agree with that at all. I've dated many women who were college educated with good jobs and great self-esteem but they were still burned numerous times by "bad boys" (including me ).... Many of these so called strong and independent women are really big balls of insecurity underneath the tough exterior.
audrey_1 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Many of these so called strong and independent women are really big balls of insecurity underneath the tough exterior. Hmm. I'm not so sure that "strong and independent women" and "big balls" belong together in the same sentence.
EricO54 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Here's my theory: Women like "bad boys" because it seems "bad boys" are more confident and don't seem to care much about being around attractive women. They love these guys with carefree attitudes. "nice guys" seem like nice people, but seem to be overbearing and tend to lack confidence and self assurance. So women go for the bad boys everytime. Thats my take anyway.
paddington bear Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I think women get addicted to 'bad boys' as opposed to falling in love, it's infatuation, all you can think about is why didn't he call me, you worry you fret and then suddenly you get a call and you are so relieved. Bad boys play you like a puppet, dangling you on the end of a string, sometimes seeming to really be interested in you, then disappearing off. This sets up a kind of obsessive compulsion in the woman to 'win' the un-winnable man. I think in general, we all want what we can't have, it gives more of a sense of achievement when you get something that took a lot of effort. If it comes too easy - the nice guy syndrome (and the nice girl syndrome!) then it's not worth having, hence all these self-help dating books about acting confident, not calling or texting all the time, pulling back a little, the thought that you might lose this person makes you want them all the more. Bad boys set up the illusion that they are more desirable than others as they are unobtainable, also as they tend to have lots of women running after them, it sets up that a competitive urge among girls to be the one that gets him, to be validated, 'out of all those gorgeous girls it was me he picked'.
alphamale Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I think women get addicted to 'bad boys' as opposed to falling in love, it's infatuation, so according to your theory Hillary Clinton has been married to Bill Clinton for 30 years due to "infatuation"? Is that what you're saying?
Woggle Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 so according to your theory Hillary Clinton has been married to Bill Clinton for 30 years due to "infatuation"? Is that what you're saying? She has been married to Bill for 30 years because of ambition.
paddington bear Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Okay so I wasn't thinking of Ms Clinton! Ha ha! I bet though she was addicted to him when they first met, couldn't believe she 'got him' then realised she'd landed herself with a philanderer and as Woggle says, stuck with him out of ambition, wonder if she's gone and had any affairs herself....
Woggle Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I don't think women love bad boys either as I do not think the majority of women are even capable of real love. They want to feed their ego by taming a bad boy and it drives them up the wall when they can't do it. They can't stand the sobering fact that some guys do not think they are a princess and that they are just another romp in the sack for him. They try to get him to commit but when they do they get bored and dump him for the next victim. The best way for a man to get a woman attracted to him is to let her know she is not special.
paddington bear Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Ach Woggle, don't be bitter. Some women are nasty pieces of work, just like some men - I am not like that (I hope), but then where has that got me? I'm the female equivalent of a 'nice guy', someone men like, but don't go crazy over. I'm sure if I acted less kind and nice and played lots of stupid games that things would change for me, but I'm not prepared to do that. Human beings are perverse. The princess thing, well, if you like someone of course you want them to really like you back. No one wants to be just a romp in the sack when they have some true interest in someone, you don't want to feel like you were used so you try to turn the situation into a relationship.
Woggle Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I don't feel that all women are like this but too many don't seem to have a clue what love is about. It's all emotions and rushes of feelings for them that can change at any given moment. If you are not like this what I say does not apply to you and I do hope you find a man who appreciates it.
vonerik012 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I really think women reserve their true love for their children. Thats how they are wired. The rest is infatuation, competition, seeking a better lifestyle.
Author singlelife Posted August 28, 2008 Author Posted August 28, 2008 well it seems women just want to keep t simple i guess
Woggle Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Women like men. Girls like the "bad boys." This is very true but there are many little girls out there.
Woggle Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 And they're easy to spot if a guy is thinking with the upper brain instead of the lower one. This is true. I am a very good judge of a woman's character.
dazed.1 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I wish I could. I am not wired to be a selfish and uncaring jerk and that is a problem I struggle with. See I just wonder what kind of girls you are going after? The college I am in is severely dominated by males, but all the ladies I am friends with from school (beautiful, intelligant etc etc) wouldn't put up with any s*** from a guy. I really think it is about maturity, not age (though I agree most times one comes with the other). Or maybe we have just been surrounded by males for so long that we know better (in 4 of 4 year program). Anyway my point is maybe you are looking for the wrong girls. An arguement could be made that "your kind" of guy only want to be with a certain kind of girl (just fishing here), but that certain kind of girl only goes ofter jerks...well aren't you just as bad as the girls who go after the "bad guys"? I sure hope that made sense.... I'm just saying that not all girls in there twenties want to be with a jerk. I don't and I'm not, and I can promise the same for ANY of the ladies I go to college with!
dazed.1 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Women like men. Girls like the "bad boys." Well said!
vonerik012 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 There's something so, so wrong with someone who truly believes this kind of drivel. It's a biological fact.. It insures the survival of young. Look into it.
pandagirl Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 The truth is "bad boys" are just more intriguing and interesting -- who doesn't find that appealing? "Nice guys" could get all the girls they wanted, too, if they were intriguing and interesting, but often times, they're just sort of bland and vanilla. Also, attracting interest from women doesn't have to do with being "bad," a quiet poet, a rocket scientist, or a classical musician are all interesting people to me. Give me a "nice guy" who is spontaneous, hilarious and a smartass, has a outstanding quality about them, and I'll be in heaven.
Yamaha Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 The truth is "bad boys" are just more intriguing and interesting -- who doesn't find that appealing? "Nice guys" could get all the girls they wanted, too, if they were intriguing and interesting, but often times, they're just sort of bland and vanilla. Also, attracting interest from women doesn't have to do with being "bad," a quiet poet, a rocket scientist, or a classical musician are all interesting people to me. Give me a "nice guy" who is spontaneous, hilarious and a smartass, has a outstanding quality about them, and I'll be in heaven. So you are saying it's the personality of the person and not the fact he is a nice guy or bad guy. I do believe that people are attracted to people different than them. If your quiet then you tend to want someone more outgoing and vice versa. I also believe many people get caught up in the drama of a relationship. I know people who want drama because that makes it more interesting to them and not so hum drum.
CaliGuy Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 The truth is "bad boys" are just more intriguing and interesting -- who doesn't find that appealing? "Nice guys" could get all the girls they wanted, too, if they were intriguing and interesting, but often times, they're just sort of bland and vanilla. Also, attracting interest from women doesn't have to do with being "bad," a quiet poet, a rocket scientist, or a classical musician are all interesting people to me. Give me a "nice guy" who is spontaneous, hilarious and a smartass, has a outstanding quality about them, and I'll be in heaven. The last sentence there, that's not normally associated with "nice guys", that is what I would describe as a confident, good guy. Nice guys, for the most part, are door mats. That is why I constantly tell door mat guys to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy". It's not about being a jerk, it teaches men how to be confident and secure in themselves and the funny, spontaneous and "smarta$$" part of them will shine through. Jerks and Nice Guys suffer from the same issue: Insecurity. They just display it different ways. Nice Guys seek approval from outside sources, jerks tend to withdraw and keep to themselves. Again, both traits can be whittled down to insecurity. It's just that jerks put up the air of confidence by being selfish and withdrawn vs open and needy like door mat nice guys. The bottom line is what is attractive to a potential mate is being happy with who you are, confident, easy going and fun. The key component is confidence because that is where the happiness and fun part of a man can shine through. When you don’t give a crap about what other people think about you, you can enjoy life and be happy and care-free. How do I know this? From my own personal experience. I used to be that door mat nice guy. It's taken me years to shed that icky clingy/needy behavior and come to love and respect myself. Granted, I am not 100% there but I am very close. I'm spending much more time making myself happy and having fun, going out, hanging with friends, etc. Now I am finding getting dates is much easier, people want to talk to me (mainly coz I don't give a damn about anyone's opinion of me). I've learned to set up firm boundaries as well, which has been very important for me in confidence building. What women want are GOOD, confident men. Not jerks, not door mat nice guys. Cheers.
Trialbyfire Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 There's something so, so wrong with someone who truly believes this kind of drivel. That's it! He's looking for a mother-figure who will cook, clean and love him unconditionally, regardless of his own bad behaviours! As for jerks aka bad boys, bad boys turn into dysfunctional men who have difficulty settling down and having functional long-term relationships or committed marriages.
vonerik012 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 As for myself, yes. If I am seeking a wife, it is a huge turn on for me if she can cook, and enjoys it. I also cook. But something about a woman doing it turns me on. Kind of like she is of the giving nature. I like to give more to her in return. Cleaning, yes. I am not into princesses, unless we can afford a full time maid. Love me unconditionally. Of course. Since I am not a cheater by nature, it should not be so hard to still love me. Women are emotional creatures who like excitement, and want to obtain a man who is wanted by others. I never saw my ex so into me until my cute neighbor kept stopping by to ask for favors, and B, during the beginning of our relationship when she heard messages from other women on my phone which she checked without me knowing.
2nd-Best Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I know from years of experience being a Loser Magnet (as my mom would call it) that we good girls always fall for bad boys because for me personally its the fact that I don't know what to expect. I never get bored with the guy, its always exciting and there for you never lose the tingles i guess.. I dunno, Im just going off my experience and how and why I do it, even though I know damn well that I should run and run fast! hahaha I'm a bit of an exception in a way, I never really get screwed over because I am a bad girl I guess who dates Bad boys.. BETCH meet AzzHole, Azzhole meet Betch! lol
seminoles84 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 DMX - "Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Guys" Explains Everything.. lol
carhill Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Can someone translate the above post (#77) for me? I got lost resolving the conundrum of the poster being a good girl and bad girl .....
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