dazed.1 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 What you're getting is damaged women who enjoy the challenge of thinking they can "change" you. Once a woman reaches her 30's, she tends to lose interest in these type of guys, and throws them over for the good guys. Sometimes it doesn't even take that long! But I agree entirely
fral945 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I think Woogle's generalization is pretty good for unmarried women who've never had kids. All I can say from my own is experience is I've constantly been called a "good guy" and "great catch" but that hasn't translated into actual relationships. I know that bad boys are more charming and exciting than me. I know I'm not very charming and probably very boring to most women. I can put on a front for a little while, but not for very long. I had a steady, well paying job for 3 years of my short life (I'm 28), but about a year ago I decided I'd like to try something else. I noticed that during that 8 month time period I got much more attention from women when I was in limbo vs. when I had a steady, boring (but reliable) job. I've since gone back to my previous career, and feel like things have returned to the way they were before. Really odd, but I think the excitement and novelty plays a big factor for young women. I imagine once they experience marriage and have kids that changes. I guess the good news is I'll be 30 in a year and a half and maybe there will be more women my age looking for more reliable, boring men vs. the exciting, charming, bad boy types.
fral945 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 It's just that "nice guys" have the connotation of being boring and uninteresting. I need a dynamic personality, someone who is confident and secure -- if that can come in the form of a "nice guy" then you've got a winner. Just to add to what you're saying pandagirl, I've noticed women are attracted to confidence, even if it is "fake confidence". I see life as an experiment sometimes, so I try things just to see how they will work, especially with the opposite sex. I've run this experiment with myself. For a few weeks I "faked" confidence, such as carrying myself with an air of arrogance, walked tall and quickly, looked people in the eye, spoke more forcefully, and definitely noticed that I was attracting more women. Then I reverted back to my old ways, where I walk slowly, usually not with my head up, not looking people in the eye, speaking at my normal voice level, and there definitely wasn't the same spark with the women. I'm the exact same person, it is just in the image I project. The results of my experiment show me you can manipulate women with the image you project. Not that this is any news, all males of almost every species have been doing this since the beginning of time. I just had to prove it to myself. Bad boys have learned to "project" the image that appeals to women. I don't think bad boys (generally speaking) are anymore confident and secure than good guys, but they project that image.
Author singlelife Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 wow...i see! so because i'm a jerk (don't mean to be) that's my secret. i dress up when i want too ( 3 piece suits) but i prefer to dress down ( t shirts, tank tops, shorts, ripped jeans, bald head) and i have dated mostly what i would call high polutant ( did i spell that right) women. what's up with that.
sumdude Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I know I'm not very charming and probably very boring to most women. I can put on a front for a little while, but not for very long. Believing this makes it true. If you start to believe otherwise you might make that true instead.
carhill Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 :sick: All over that guy. :sick: Imagine that his wife was right there and he got to know my wife's married friend by squeezing her ass while she was watching the concert. So that makes four and a rude introduction to boot. It's no wonder I'm in MC
Woggle Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 You can call me a chauvinist pig but what I say is true. Women wonder why so many men are jerks but they reward this behavior. There truly is very little incentive for a man to be honest and faithful.
Lizzie60 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 You can call me a chauvinist pig but what I say is true. Women wonder why so many men are jerks but they reward this behavior. There truly is very little incentive for a man to be honest and faithful. Then ..what's the problem... just be a jerk.. and be happy..
alphamale Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 So my question is why do we so called bad boys get lots of women. good looking women (the 8 to 10s) have men all over them who are willing to do anything for them. these guys are mainly suckers for a beautiful woman and will go to the ends of the earth for her waiting on her hand and foot like a spineless jellyfish. the bad boy treats teh attractive female like anyone else and may even be mean to her on occasion. she's not used to this and becomes intrigued...ergo, she goes for this guy because he's not a push over and is a real man with a backbone.
Woggle Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Then ..what's the problem... just be a jerk.. and be happy.. I wish I could. I am not wired to be a selfish and uncaring jerk and that is a problem I struggle with.
Yamaha Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 good looking women (the 8 to 10s) have men all over them who are willing to do anything for them. these guys are mainly suckers for a beautiful woman and will go to the ends of the earth for her waiting on her hand and foot like a spineless jellyfish. the bad boy treats teh attractive female like anyone else and may even be mean to her on occasion. she's not used to this and becomes intrigued...ergo, she goes for this guy because he's not a push over and is a real man with a backbone. I totally agree with this. Many bad boys are not really confident but they pretend because they know this is an important component for a women. They learn what works and don't mind manipulating to get the end result. Nice guys are usually more honest and are not game players. Their tatics usually get women for friends but the sexual attraction isn't there (even if the nice guy is good looking). A womens attraction can change depending on your confidence factor ( and other thing ) even if she was attracted to you at first.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 So I started thinking. I am not the best looking or in tip top shape but I have alwas had hot girlfriends and friends with benefits. My sis has been out with me and seen me get women and is suprised because I have no game. She even says I am a jerk and need to change. I want to but it's not easy and women don't seem to mind. So my question is why do we so called bad boys get lots of women. We usually see this question from those of us on the "nice guy" end of the spectrum -- interesting to get a perspective from the other side. You say you want to change . . . why? Do you want an LTR? If so, what does the ideal LTR look and feel like to you? If you can answer that, then you can start to look for specific interests, qualities, and values in women that will help build this kind of relationship. You're in a great position. You can be more selective without really lessening your sex opportunties. That's a luxury we "nice guys" don't have.
vonerik012 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 The difficult part is that it is easy to be the "bad boy" when you meet a girl, that you are on the fence about. You naturally are not pursuing very much,you go out without them, do not return calls promptly, break dates etc. Then these women seem to be completely infatuated with you. The problem is that you are sincerely not that into them. Sometimes when you meet a woman you ARE very interested in, you naturally return her calls on time, do not break dates, etc, and to some women this might appear to be more "boring" or "predictable". From reading many of these threads and from personal experience amongst myself and acquaintences, as a man you are almost better off lying, being mysterious, withholding information, not returning calls, and having a tumultuous life or lifestyle, than being the type of guy who works, comes home, and watches tv or partakes in another predictable hobby.
Trialbyfire Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Why do people insist on the extreme definitions? Yes, a man who works and then dumps himself in front of the TV everynight is boring. No couch potatoes plse! This doesn't mean that there's no inbetween of someone being active but not being a jerk. As for bad boys, their appeal is confidence and independence. Too bad that's just a mask for selfishness and inability to emotionally commit. Women learn to tell the difference, after a few bad experiences. Same as men learn to tell the difference, after a few bad experiences. Everyone's naive at one time.
Lizzie60 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I wish I could. I am not wired to be a selfish and uncaring jerk and that is a problem I struggle with. Everything is 'doable' ... practise.. practise..
kchiapet95 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I wish I could. I am not wired to be a selfish and uncaring jerk and that is a problem I struggle with. Really? You could've fooled me! See, not ALL women like bad boys. ETA: LOL, Lizzie, practice is making perfect.
vonerik012 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 This is perhaps a more realistic example... As an example, lets say I go to the gym, am on a tennis team , have professional organizational meetings, do volunteer work, run a business, and travel during my leisure time. So I am not couch potato. If you are with a girl you are on the fence about, if you see she calls you might let it go to voice mail and call her back the next day, you might not express to her all the activities you are involved in because you simply do not care to, so you appear to be confident, independent, mysterious, etc. However, you are the same man. If you are with a woman you are very interested in, you let her in your life a bit more. You explain to her how you spend your time. When she calls you answer, and tell her how your day went, and what you have planned for the evening when she asks. You call her back when you say you will. You keep plans, and do not use other activities as an excuse. In the latter situation, often times you are still being predictable, which women will often times find to be "boring" either consciously, or subconsciously.There is no emotional roller coaster, and she might gravitate towards men that treat her as above in the former situation. The problem is that in most cases that man is just not very into her.
alphamale Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Women learn to tell the difference, after a few bad experiences. Same as men learn to tell the difference, after a few bad experiences. um, not really....people are still attracted to who they have chemistry with. i've seen many women in their 40s turn down dates with boring garden-variety "nice guys"... women tend to love drama, excitement and confidence/charisma and that will never change even if they are in their 80s.
Trialbyfire Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 um, not really....people are still attracted to who they have chemistry with. i've seen many women in their 40s turn down dates with boring garden-variety "nice guys"... women tend to love drama, excitement and confidence/charisma and that will never change even if they are in their 80s. Define nice guy. Is he someone with confidence or someone who purports to be nice but actually is the victim type? You'll find there are women who are trapped in the cycle of drama, with a certain type of man. You'll also find women who aren't interested in this type of man, whether this is a twice burnt scenario or that they prefer a more stable relationship.
alphamale Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Define nice guy. a male who doesn't give off the masculine "vibe"....if you know what I mean, and i'm sure you do.
Woggle Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I find that the more confident a woman is in herself the less likely she is to be attracted bad boys. Players know how to spot an insecure woman and how to get inside her head.
alphamale Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I find that the more confident a woman is in herself the less likely she is to be attracted bad boys. I dont' agree with that at all. I've dated many women who were college educated with good jobs and great self-esteem but they were still burned numerous times by "bad boys" (including me )....
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