almost famous Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 It's not sex as a weapon, it's you make me happy, I make you happy.
whichwayisup Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I was talking to someone I hadn't seen since I was a kid in junior school, and I felt another one coming...I held it..Held it..Then all of a sudden a tiny little pfftt.. 2 seconds later, the smell hit. I saw her face as it hit her and she instantly said, It was nice to talk to you, I need to go speak to XXX now, talk to you later, k." and she ran off. My sister walked over and knew by the smell it was me.
stampdaddy Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I was talking to someone I hadn't seen since I was a kid in junior school, and I felt another one coming...I held it..Held it..Then all of a sudden a tiny little pfftt.. 2 seconds later, the smell hit. I saw her face as it hit her and she instantly said, It was nice to talk to you, I need to go speak to XXX now, talk to you later, k." and she ran off. My sister walked over and knew by the smell it was me. was it a pussy fart?
whichwayisup Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 was it a pussy fart? P*ssy farts don't smell as far as I know..But then again, I'm not a guy and upclose to one so I can't verify that..
stampdaddy Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 P*ssy farts don't smell as far as I know..But then again, I'm not a guy and upclose to one so I can't verify that.. well, I have documented my "cowlick story" on another thread.. but would be willing to re-tell....
Tomcat33 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Ewww don't even get me started on this. That is totally unacceptable. I have NEVER EVER in all my years on this earth passed gas infront of anyone let alone my partner. I find that so utterly disrespectful and completely classless. But I understand some people think it's funny or fine. I was brought up with, you excuse yourself and do it in privacy. And that is what I do and want out of my partner. Luckily all but one of my exe's understood this and were completely in agreement with it. The one ex would comply off and on and I got really turned off by it and eventuallly it killed the attraction for me JUST EWWWWWWWWWWW.
stampdaddy Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 so like in my experience, when you are starting to go down on a girl, and you flip a leg over your shoulder and all of that built up air or gas inside of you wants to let go, YOU can hold it in..? No OOPSIES....?
Tomcat33 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Yes no oopsies, EVER. Knock on wood. Never had the accident yet. I would be absolutely mortified.
stampdaddy Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Yes no oopsies, EVER. Knock on wood. Never had the accident yet. I would be absolutely mortified. as was I.... that is how I got this cowlick...... PFFFFFFFFFFT.. "oopsie"
Prodigal Princess Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I was talking to someone I hadn't seen since I was a kid in junior school, and I felt another one coming...I held it..Held it..Then all of a sudden a tiny little pfftt.. 2 seconds later, the smell hit. I saw her face as it hit her and she instantly said, It was nice to talk to you, I need to go speak to XXX now, talk to you later, k." and she ran off. My sister walked over and knew by the smell it was me. OMG you are hilarious. I just accidently snorted my drink up my nose laughing while reading that post. I was in a pretty serious meeting once with about 20 people sitting around a table and someone let a really loud one rip. There was silence for a moment and then everyone just continued on as if nothing had happened. I was trying so hard not to laugh I was choking and had to excuse myself. They all probably thought it was me!
Green Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I remember we were having a school assembly for veterans day and it was the moment of silence and I let the loudes fart rip... luckily no one could pinpoint the exact origin so it was me and a couple of guys all pointing at eachother
stoopid_guy Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 (Serious answer) Farts are funny, but there's a place for them. They're fairly harmless outdoors, and expected in the rest room. (Real answers.). Mine don't stink, so not a problem anywhere Favorite place to fart: In church when everyone's singing. Catch them with their mouths open, and it's crowded and noisy so they can't pin it on you.
Art_Critic Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I was talking to someone I hadn't seen since I was a kid in junior school, and I felt another one coming...I held it..Held it..Then all of a sudden a tiny little pfftt.. 2 seconds later, the smell hit. I saw her face as it hit her and she instantly said, It was nice to talk to you, I need to go speak to XXX now, talk to you later, k." and she ran off. My sister walked over and knew by the smell it was me. Double ......
almost famous Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Nice, respectful way to honor our veterans on Veterans Day. I remember we were having a school assembly for veterans day and it was the moment of silence and I let the loudes fart rip... luckily no one could pinpoint the exact origin so it was me and a couple of guys all pointing at eachother
Art_Critic Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Some fart facts... Why do farts seem to follow the farter? I'm sure that everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in which one delivers oneself forth of a silent but potent gaseous emission and then steps rapidly away, only to have the fart cling to one's person. Part of the reason for this annoying characteristic of farts is the turbulence that follows in the wake of a moving person. The fart "slip streams" or is actually pulled along in the farter's direction by the air currents behind the person. Another factor is that part of the fart is caught in the farter's clothing, and diffuses out slowly after the main part of the emission has dispersed. If you were in space without a suit, would a fart have the energy to propel you forward? Yes, a fart should propel you forward, since there is virtually no opposing force in the form of friction or gravity to counteract the force of the fart. Are farts acid, neutral or alkaline? Farts tend to be rich in carbon dioxide, and may also contain hydrogen sulfide, the substance primarily responsible for the stench of farts. If a fart were to be dissolved in water, carbon dioxide would interact with water to produce carbonic acid, and hydrogen sulfide would make hydrosulfuric acid. These are both weak acids, so farts (at least when in solution) are mildly acidic.
konfuzd Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Hahaha... there is nothing funnier than a fart. My boyfriend holds me down and farts on me all the time. That, or I will sit on his lap like I'm getting all cuddly, then let one rip right on him. I think it's hilarious. As a sign of affection, we will cup a fart in our hands and blow it to the other like a kiss! Lighten up people, just like sex, farts shared between two loving people can be a very romantic experience...
shadowplay Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Hahaha... there is nothing funnier than a fart. My boyfriend holds me down and farts on me all the time. That, or I will sit on his lap like I'm getting all cuddly, then let one rip right on him. I think it's hilarious. As a sign of affection, we will cup a fart in our hands and blow it to the other like a kiss! Lighten up people, just like sex, farts shared between two loving people can be a very romantic experience... You're gross. This thread is making me lose my appetite.
konfuzd Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 You're gross. You're uptight. Maybe you've been holding in too many farts. It's uncomfortable. Speaking of being uncomfortable.... I was in the airport with my bf recently. The waiting area at the boarding gate was crowded, people were standing around and sitting on the floor. (Plane was delayed by 4 hours). Some arrogant lady was stretching out across 3 seats, and her husband was taking up two. My bf sat on the floor beside them and starting letting the farts rip until she sat up and moved over, then he let a family with young kids sit in the newly vacant seats. Farts can make the world a better place!
Art_Critic Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Okay, resident flatulence expert. Why does it seem that the hotter the gasses, the smellier the result? I have quite the resource available to me Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts? Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm. Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench. Why do farts smell so much worse in a shower than anywhere else? There are several factors. First of all, a shower is a small, enclosed space, so the fart gas is more concentrated, and the high turbidity of the air in the shower circulates the gas through the space effectively. Secondly, the high humidity and high temperature conditions in the shower enhance a person's sense of smell and taste. The farts don't actually smell worse, it's just that we can smell them better than usual. Similar conditions prevail in the bathtub.
2sure Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Passing gas, emitting foul odors from your bowels....just isnt attractive. While I think it can be funny when there is an accident - there is absolutely no way I would ever ever intentionally do that in front of anyone. Especially not my husband, boyfriend, date. If my H were like that, honestly, I couldnt have married him. I just like the idea that some things I wont be subjected to - like farts, watching him trim anything in a strange place, etc. I think ripping one off, belching, in public is just unattractive in general. It doesnt say anything bad about the person - just sure doesnt add anything. I would tell him that his farting makes you perceive him as gross and undesireable. If thats the case. I mean- being subjected to someones butt fumes??? No. NO. Unless you have for some reason lost control of your bowels, this is not gonna fly.
Lishy Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 OMG This reminds me of a very embarresing situation! In bed with my ex he decided to diappear under the covers and get busy and as I move a popped out a tiny bum burp that STUNK!:sick: He was nearly sick!!!!!!!!!!! (I am laughing cos he deserved it)
nowhereman82 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I am fine with farting BUT if it's truly an issue. Him being your husband should be willing to appease your simple request, as it's really not asking much. Have a serious talk with him and let him know its important to you. Then ride his case when he lets it slip. All you can really do. If he doesn't do it. Then let him know you don't appreciate it and excuse yourself from the room. He will eventually get the hint....i hope
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