heartbroken3 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 My ex and I just broke up about two weeks ago. Beforehand we said we needed to go on breaks but we never really did. We spent every second together which now I know was bad. I felt like we started arguing a lot once this started happening. We dated previously for a bit in high school but then started our relationship when we were back in college summer before our sophomore year. We went to different colleges so I waited a year to see if it was the right thing to do which was move to be closer to him. I moved and went to a different college and basically just dropped my life for him. I felt so alone out there because I basically had no friends or family members and his friends became my friends. We started to hang out every second we could like right after school, work, at any time. I know that was the first mistake we made because it just got too much I think in the end because we were starting to feel like we were married and we are only 22. We both did talk about marriage and our future but I felt like as if we were smothering eachother. The summer approached and we went back home and still hung out every minute we could even if we had our own friends and family. It just seemed so routine to us. Now looking back I wish one of us would of just been the stronger one and said no this shouln't be this way. Because now 3 years later he broke up with me. His reasons were "we weren't having fun anymore" and "we hung out way too much" then it went from that to " we aren't meant for eachother right now". But then he keeps crying and telling me he loves me and I will always have his heart and he still wants to keep in touch. I feel like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He has never had a girlfriend before.I've had a boyfriend but it only lasted for 7 months and it wasn't anything near what my most recent ex and I have/had. He tells me we aren't going to change and I don't know what to do. I don't know if we need a couple months apart to realize we really do love eachother or if this actually is the end. One time he called me and I was just talking to him like nothing was going on and in a happy mood and he sent me a text saying "I'm glad we're over. I've never heard you this happy..ever." and then he wanted to see me. It was as if he wanted me to be crying at home and when he noticed I wasn't he wanted to reel me back in. I mean if men want to break up and they think it's for the best why do all of that? We saw eachother that day and he was crying saying all he wanted to do was hold me and he was hurting so bad he just knew this was the best thing for us. He wanted me to promise him that I won't be out of his life. It just made me feel as if he gave up on us. I mean how can he get over me if were talking? I don't know if he just needs his space and feel free or what? HELP
BCCA Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Often times, the person that initiates the breakup has many of the same fears of loneliness, etc. They may want to "stay friends" so they can still get some attention, sex, or be able to have a date when they want. Basically, this will go on until A) you realize whats happening and put a stop to it, or B) he meets some one else. Essentially, he's healing himself while holding your healing process back. A LOT of my ex's did that to me, and its always just enough to keep you on the hook. Also, he doesnt want you to hate him. Its a fact, people rarely break up with some one and dont feel bad for the other person. So, they want to know that you dont think theyre the worst person ever. I feel like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He does. Also, actions speak louder than words. If he loves you and you have his heart, why did he break up with you? Be VERY careful when listening to what some one says during a break up. People lie because its easier than telling the truth.
Recommended Posts