Author geekinthepink Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 I agree. If you would like a committment at some point & he is unable to provide one or if it's something that he does not want, then at some point you will have to tell him to go stick his finger up his own butt. (kidding of course with the finger/butt thing) I am doing my best not to get emotionally attached. I probably already am, but if i tell myself I'm not then I'm not right? Kind of like if I close my eyes and say I can't see you, so you can't see me? I don't want to set a deadline, but I feel I should only ""wait" around to see where this goes for another month or two. Definitely right on though about telling him to stick his finger up his own butt at some point though. *hee hee*
LionLover Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I am doing my best not to get emotionally attached. I probably already am, but if i tell myself I'm not then I'm not right? Kind of like if I close my eyes and say I can't see you, so you can't see me? I don't want to set a deadline, but I feel I should only ""wait" around to see where this goes for another month or two. Definitely right on though about telling him to stick his finger up his own butt at some point though. *hee hee* Well you've already spent time together, have been intimate in certain aspects, etc., so if you are saying to yourself that you can wait around & see where it goes for another month or so, etc. while containing/holding yourself back on something you already see such potential in then I guess that works for you. While I do believe in pacing things, I don’t think you should contain/hold yourself back from moving forward, just for the sake of “controlling” it. All that does is prevent the natural flow of things & then it becomes more mechanical versus real. If/when you do become attached, you are going to at some point want to further the relationship, move forward, etc. You will want to spend more time together, integrate him into your life more, etc. If that time comes, and he is not at that same stage as you – then it becomes a problem.
Author geekinthepink Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 If/when you do become attached, you are going to at some point want to further the relationship, move forward, etc. You will want to spend more time together, integrate him into your life more, etc. If that time comes, and he is not at that same stage as you – then it becomes a problem. I would say that I am attached at this point, but I'd rather not scare him away by being so direct this week in asking him if he is on the same page as I am; hoping that we are moving towards a bf/gf relationship instead of simply FWB. I would love to just ask him right now. LOL, but I think that if I wait 'till Sunday or Monday it would be better. We have had a good week I think. We haven't had the time to see one another (he just started his classes again and we are both working) but he did ask me to come out with him and his friends last night and sent me a text from the bar saying he wished I was keeping him company. We both have pre-arranged plans for the holiday weekend, so IF we do get to see each other it will be Monday and I am going to casually bring up the subject then. My fingers/toes are crossed that its a good conversation, with the outcome that I want
Author geekinthepink Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 So last week the boy and I hung out on Friday night. He kind of surprised me by inviting me over and *ta*da* 12 of his friends were in his house completely drunk. The first friend he introduced me to said "So you are interested in my friend here" I replied "Well he is a very interesting person" with a smile and then got introduced to 10 other people. All very nice, but very drunk. He also introduced me to his best friend who wanted to know my last name, which I found a little odd, but again they were drunk. Anyway, the boy and I ended up going upstairs, where before he passed out, he made all kinds of comments about relationships and needing to make a sacrifice if you were busy people. I tried asking him what he meant, but he passed out and was snoring at that point so I decided to make my exit. I got a text message from him about 4 hours later telling me how sorry he was that he passed out and that I should have stayed and asking if I was ok. He ended up going to the beach with his friends, so I didn;t hear from him again until last night. He and I joked about his drunkenness and he again appologized for passing out and for any of his behavior. I thought it was the right time to throw in the "So I seem to enjoy spending time with you, even when you are drunk, do you see this going anywhere?" question. He completely ignored it and asked me if I wanted to do something this week. Should I just take his introducing me to his friends as a good sign and let it go for now? Or should I press him to answer my question? The controlling Taurus/first-born in me says ask him again, but the rational side says that his actions show that he likes me so just let things be for now.
sfsassy Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 So last week the boy and I hung out on Friday night. He kind of surprised me by inviting me over and *ta*da* 12 of his friends were in his house completely drunk. The first friend he introduced me to said "So you are interested in my friend here" I replied "Well he is a very interesting person" with a smile and then got introduced to 10 other people. All very nice, but very drunk. He also introduced me to his best friend who wanted to know my last name, which I found a little odd, but again they were drunk. Anyway, the boy and I ended up going upstairs, where before he passed out, he made all kinds of comments about relationships and needing to make a sacrifice if you were busy people. I tried asking him what he meant, but he passed out and was snoring at that point so I decided to make my exit. I got a text message from him about 4 hours later telling me how sorry he was that he passed out and that I should have stayed and asking if I was ok. He ended up going to the beach with his friends, so I didn;t hear from him again until last night. He and I joked about his drunkenness and he again appologized for passing out and for any of his behavior. I thought it was the right time to throw in the "So I seem to enjoy spending time with you, even when you are drunk, do you see this going anywhere?" question. He completely ignored it and asked me if I wanted to do something this week. Should I just take his introducing me to his friends as a good sign and let it go for now? Or should I press him to answer my question? The controlling Taurus/first-born in me says ask him again, but the rational side says that his actions show that he likes me so just let things be for now. Maybe he wants to talk with you this week in person about this, so I would make sure you try to hang out with him. Were you actually talking when you asked your question or were you texting or emailing? I would find it weird if he didn't answer while on the phone, but maybe he doesn't want to express his intermost feelings in writing.
oceangrl Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 I think you should listen to your rational side. I personally would never bring up "the talk" because I think a lot of men have the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" mentality. Let him bring it up relationship stuff....and keep doing what you're doing by keeping it light and fun because youre getting him hooked.
Author geekinthepink Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 I think you should listen to your rational side. I personally would never bring up "the talk" because I think a lot of men have the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" mentality. Let him bring it up relationship stuff....and keep doing what you're doing by keeping it light and fun because youre getting him hooked. I have to say that I agree with you. My best friend told me this today: [COLOR=#1f497d]"yeah, you need to stop trying to read everything. It seems to me he’s not seeing anyone else now, or planning to, so even though there is no label on that relationship that implies exclusivity, you probably have it anyway. I’d wait until he brings up the subject, or at least give him another few weeks to, so he doesn’t feel pressured into making the relationship more official until he’s ready. "[/COLOR] So I'm going to just let things be for now. Ride that ride called life
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