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Might go back to college, and I need friends


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Posted

I might go back to college to continue a course and during my first year I wasn't capable of making friends because of my lack of emotion, lack of enthusiasm, and social communication and awkwardness. How can I adquaint with students and possibly new student(s) and eventually be friends with them? I honestly don't know.

Posted

You've sort of answered your own question. Next time you meet people, show some more emotion and enthusiasm. (Don't exaggerate, of course, but do show that you are indeed alive.) Speak to people more and eventually you'll improve on your social communication. Look up self-help books and Internet articles on how to avoid being awkward and how to gain more self-confidence. Acquainting with students is as easy as walking up to them and saying "Hey, what's up?" Or joining in on a conversation that you overhear some of your classmates are talking about.

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Posted

Wouldn't that be kind of awkward if I suddenly lighten up my character to try and get a different point of view of others the fact that for a year they see me as a shy, quiet, introverted, anti-social classmate? I have never seen this happen before.

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Posted

I can't just butt in (like you usually do to your friends) and start making social interactions because that would be awkward and uncomfortable.

 

What can you do if there was a new student in the class?

 

What are the specific step by steps?

Posted

Well, first and foremost, you're going to have to be less concerned about how others will think of you. The worst thing that could happen is people will see you opening up and being more social. Oh, God forbid! ;)

 

DO butt in... but only if you have something to add to the conversation. Don't butt in and be all like, "Haha" and then leave it as such. Remember, your goal is to let people know that you're someone they can interact with, not to have them look at you with this kind of face: o_O

 

If there was a new student, tell that person, "Hey, come sit over here. This is the fun side of class!"

 

Can't give you any specific steps because I don't know them. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Thing is, you can't live your life like a textbook example. At times you will fail and you will be embarrassed, but other times you will succeed and you'll be more happier when you do because you allowed things to happen naturally instead of going by procedures. Take it easy man, you can do it. :)

Posted

It sounds like you will need to build some confidence in social settings. This isn't something you can read up on and deploy. It's a learned skill. Primarily through trail and error.

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Posted

I don't go back until later. What else could I do to develop this skill besides school? I have some friends from school but at the same time they're not since we don't often see each other anymore or they have better friendships with others than me. To me they're more of acquaintances than friends.

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Posted

I don't start until later. What can I do to help myself? I can't practice it to my parents because of my insecurities around them.

Posted

You watch people interact and take mental notes. You talk to people in social settings. Watch for opportunities to make short conversations with people at the grocery store, laundromat, etc. Get aquainted with your neighbors. Talk to people at church or work. The first thing you have to let go, is your insecurity, which is rooted in fear. Don't worry so much about what people think of you.

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