Nevermind Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 A thought struck me tonight. Many things in my life don't go the way they should. I am overwhelmed by my university curriculum, I have few friends, my health is crappy etc... Am I clinging to this special incident of hurt because at least this time I don't have to blame myself for it? Is it a means to escape the even sadder reality? Do you know what I mean? Have you been guilty of this?
Treasa Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Well, I don't know, but what I CAN tell you is this: When I'm unhappy in my own life, I tend to get more stressed out over breakups than I do when I'm really happy. Case in point: A few years ago my boyfriend wanted a break from me. I was clingy and unhappy, and kept pushing him away. One day my mom called me and said she wanted to get me a (used) car as my college graduation present. The car I had at the time was a POS, so her call made my day. That night we looked at cars, and I was so excited over it that I didn't think that much over my boyfriend, and therefore didn't call him. The next day he called me, and I told him excitedly about my car, etc., and totally focused on me rather than him. Not only did he come back, but I wasn't mopey about the whole break thing. So, yeah, I'm rambling, but hopefully you get my point. Happy people tend to be nicer people, and happy people also tend to get over breakups more quickly.
Kamille Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 A thought struck me tonight. Many things in my life don't go the way they should. I am overwhelmed by my university curriculum, I have few friends, my health is crappy etc... Am I clinging to this special incident of hurt because at least this time I don't have to blame myself for it? Is it a means to escape the even sadder reality? Do you know what I mean? Have you been guilty of this? I think I know what you mean. I feel responsible for everything but my lovelife. I even take responsibility for any health problem I have (oh I must not be eating enough this, enough that). As a correlate, when I'm overwhelmed at work, I'll get depressed about my love life... Your lists made me laugh though: overwhelmed by university curriculum: check few friends: hmmm, yes and no. But moving to city where I have about one friend so : check health crappy: check (there always seems to be something wrong with me. I seem to remember a time when I wasn't always at some doctor's office.) For me though, I think I have it pretty good in all other aspects of my life but my lovelife. I guess I really like who I am, what I do, why I do it - so in general I have faith that things will work out for the best. I just get tired and feel like I can't keep on top of everything. What I'm trying to say is: is the rest of your life really so bleak, or is it just a matter of perception? Glass half-empty syndrome?
citizen67 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Nevermind - It is possible to become identified with being the victim. I know I can tend to do that sometimes do. And I was a victim of his bad behavior - but I have to be careful not to over identify with that - I really don't want to live life comming from the place of "victim"
Trialbyfire Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Nevermind, I don't think you're clinging for the purposes of escapism. If anything, it's tied heavily into one thing that's eating at your self-esteem. You're a wonderful person in that you're caring and intuitive. Now all you need is to believe in yourself a little more. ((hugs))
motive2002 Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Some of us are just melancholy. Pain makes you feel alive.. important.. individual. We all go through pain, including our exes. Just don't miss the joy when it happens. Savor it.
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