luckyinlove Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 so, i don't know exactly where this post belongs but we'll go for it. my boyfriend of 2 very devoted, intense years recently broke up with me. since then he's been extremely wishy-washy about us getting back together. we had a lot of problems. he was selfish and i never really spoke my mind too much. i told him at the beginning i would be willing to work things out if we both sat down and talked. he went on and off from saying "we'll never get back together. i promise this is done forever" to saying "i just want to be with you, i want to work things out." i went to visit a friend out of town this past weekend, and while out there received several text messages about who i was with and what i was wearing (he was often a bit controlling). after getting upset i told him not to contact me unless he wanted to work things out. i'd been getting more and more frustrated since, and drifting further and further from the idea of being with him. his last message said, "i'm glad this is done and over with for good. have a good life." that night a met a pretty nice guy, we didn't talk a whole lot about things, im not sure if we have anything too in common, and he's several hours away from me, but he ended up kissing me a couple times including a goodnight kiss as i was leaving. now that i've been back home both my ex and he are trying to contact me. my ex is still being rather wishy-washy, but still "really wants to love me and work things out." then again, he's also said things referring to the fact that we're broken up for good since i've been back. on the other hand, this other guy is trying to contact me to get to know one another. so, i don't exactly know what to do. if my ex knew i were even talking to this guy in a friendly manner he'd flip, so i can't continue speaking with both of them. any tips/suggestions? anyone been here?
A.G.Doren Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Your ex' obviously doesn't know what he wants. Generally when someone doesn't know what they want my advice is always the same. Make your intentions/desires clear, stay friendly but give them some space to figure out what they do want. While that person is thinking you keep dating other people and maybe you'll be single when they figure it out and maybe you won't. Your ex' is a jerk though. His text are designed to be mean and hurtfull I would tell him not to contact me unless and until he can behave like an adult.
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Not too uncommon a story. Your ex is immature. He doesn't know what he wants and he can't handle his emotions. He does need to learn to be less controlling. The best way he can learn this is for you not to respond to him whenever he asks. Secondly go out with whoever you want, and if he asks, well you can tell him. But be warned you may have to deal with some fallout. You are a free agent to do what you want, when it comes down to it, it's really none of his business who you see. He made his choice and he has no right to get mad about it.
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