beautiful_stranger Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Hi all, just a short question, if a girl readily accepts all invitations from a guy she's interested in, does that come across as being desperate? and therefore resulting in the guy losing interest as the target is too "easy"? If so, how readily should she accept these invitations?? Thanks for your input!!
Tony T Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Hi all, just a short question, if a girl readily accepts all invitations from a guy she's interested in, does that come across as being desperate? and therefore resulting in the guy losing interest as the target is too "easy"? If so, how readily should she accept these invitations?? Thanks for your input!! To sane and rational people, her behavior would come across as sane and rational. That's how people act who favorably respond to things they want to do. To insane and irrational people, she might come across as desperate. But how many sane and rational people do you know in the world? When you were little, were you desperate when you told Santa what you wanted for Christmas? Are you desperate when you tell the ice cream people what flavor you want? How about at McDonalds, are you desperate when you tell them you want extra ketchup? GEEZE! This girl has simply got her head together but, unfortunately, you and many others aren't used to encountering people who have their heads together. Now, isn't that a sad commentary on humanity? If someone is interested in another, it would seem to follow logically that they would want to communicate that in their actions and that they would want to see that person more often...or am I way off here....help me??? I know you didn't ask for an entire essay on your question but this kind of stuff drives me up a fricken wall!
nopainnogain Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I agree with tony lol People tend to take advantage of niceness unfortunantly
Author beautiful_stranger Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 I agree with that also. But how does the logic fit in with the old saying that most men "want a challenge". It appears that women NEED to play a bit of hard to get in order to be with a man they are interested in. I have also been told by a guy friend that "whoever is desperate will lose the game". As much as I hate the notion of dating being a game, it appears that like office politics, a bit of mind game seems inevitable especially given the guy is merely considering the girl?
Treasa Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I think men like a girl who has her own life and doesn't need him, or isn't ready to drop her other hobbies for him. I don't think men necessarily like game playing. I've had to decline invitations to things from my boyfriend once in a while just because I had other plans already. It's no big deal, but it does show that I have my own life. It's not a reflection on him at all. And he appreciates all of that, and does miss me while we're apart.
Trialbyfire Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Screw the game. If you like a guy, let him know by accepting his invitations. If he needs a game to keep him interested, he's more than likely addicted more to the chase, than seriously looking to have a relationship. Now look to yourself. What do you need to keep you interested? Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Star Gazer Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I accept most invitations from guys I'm interested in, but how I do so depends on the timing of the invitation. If he asks me on Thursday for Friday or Saturday? I'll say no - 95% of the time I'll already have plans anyway. But I'll gladly suggest an alternative day early the following week so that they know I do want to see them. If they ask, for example, on a Monday if I'm available during the week, I'll pick ONE day during the week and let them know I'm free then, instead of saying, "I'm free all week, whenever!" If, on the rare occasion, they ask, say, on a Tuesday or Wednesday for a Saturday date and I'm free, I'll happily accept. This is the ideal situation. I'm not saying that men are to be trained, but repeating this over time tells them that your time is valuable and they better ask in advance if they want to see you. In return, if you demonstrate that you're happy to spend time with them and glad they asked, they'll continue doing so. They always know I'm interested in seeing them, but the manner in which you accept demonstrates that you do have a life. Of course, this changes over time as a relationship develops. Once you have a BF, less notice is required BUT you still need to have a full life outside your relationship.
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I think men like a girl who has her own life and doesn't need him, or isn't ready to drop her other hobbies for him. I don't think men necessarily like game playing. . That's spot on The time when I start running is when I feel someone is being unrealistic about everything and turns it into a drama situation. Now if you like him, accept his invitation, go out with him have fun, that's cool.
BentSpine Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 But how does the logic fit in with the old saying that most men "want a challenge". It appears that women NEED to play a bit of hard to get in order to be with a man they are interested in. Simple: As long as you don't put out, you can, and IMO should, show interest in the man.
Author beautiful_stranger Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 hmm.. so it seems like most people like straightforwardness!! thanks guys! your comments are all very helpful!
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