WiseOne1 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Sure we've all heard the saying "Women Like Bad Boys" Or "Women Like Jerks" am I right? If not go ahead and google it, and you got your sources. But look at us, I just figuired it out, us men and the media has always portrayed women as being dumb for jerks, but were dumb because we seem to like women who are Jezebel. Take a longggg look to how each of us are behaving, were posting on LS talking about a female ex who isnt doing us right or treats us wrong. Why do we want them? Alot of us get a new GF during the breakup and we break up with her over the little simplest thing, and instead of taking it out on the ex alot of us take it out on someone who may really care about us. Are we really that diffrent from women, men and females both seem to want what they cant have. For example when the ex wants to come back we run off, but when we want to come back they run off, its just a big game! Were so quick to give someone else advice, as to drop them or go NC, when we ourselves are not following our own advice. People lets take along hard look at ourselves, do we really want our ex's back? Or are our egos just so hurt that we think we want them back? Are our self esteem so low, that we will put up with anything?
sultry33 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 i think we ask for advice but we do what we want in the end, plus we know our exs better than anyone so advice although good most of the time gves us leway to think no i know him/her so i do it my way;)
Author WiseOne1 Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Exactly, then we down our ex! For what living life? People we only have 1 life to live, after that its over. Do we wanna get old and notice that we spent months and years on someone who never wanted us? What about that person thats crazy about us just like were crazy about our ex's. Instead of focusing on the person that thinks they don't wanna settle down, why not focus on the person that does wanna settle down. Instead of focusing on the person who thinks the grass might be greener on the other side, why not focus on the person who thinks your the greener grass. All our ex's are doing is living life, and were moppin around LS, im not saying go get into anothe relationship, but go out and have fun, even go date other people just let them know what your looking for. Life is so short, and only around 30% of ex's come back, so guess what that means? That means the ones of us who wont get there ex back, well only have wasted time wanting someone who doesnt want us.
underpants Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 WiseOne, You have touched on some very important concepts. That kind of introspection will help you recognize the possibility for a good and healthy relationship when the opportunity presents itself to you. It will also help you recognize a potentially toxic one to avoid. It is sad to see either gender settle on being treated poorly or obsessed over someone who did cheat, underappreciate or leave. Like you said, why assign value to someone who does nor or cannot value you in return? It really pains me to see people return to bad relationships as they usually do not last or the issues that led to a split in the first place most likely will resurface again. Why undervalue someone who thinks you are wonderful just as you are and has the ability to be a good partner? In some instances, I would imagine that means the game is over or the 'challenge' is not overwhelming enough. Some like the chase and don't pay attention to what they are chasing. I find that to be fairly short sighted because relationships can be hard enough without all the unneccessary drama. There are more worthwhile challenges then trying to convince someone to treat you with a minimium of respect. I've been that person and it sucks to see someone you care about leave you for someone who has not only hurt them before, but that you know will do it again. The rub is, that by that action you realize that you can no longer invest or return to a relationship with that person. So when they realize that you might have been the better choice, it all becomes irrelevent. The damage is done to all. It can be a vicious cycle. If you find someone that treats you well then I hope that you can recognize it and appreciate it while you have it.
Author WiseOne1 Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 WiseOne, You have touched on some very important concepts. That kind of introspection will help you recognize the possibility for a good and healthy relationship when the opportunity presents itself to you. It will also help you recognize a potentially toxic one to avoid. It is sad to see either gender settle on being treated poorly or obsessed over someone who did cheat, underappreciate or leave. Like you said, why assign value to someone who does nor or cannot value you in return? It really pains me to see people return to bad relationships as they usually do not last or the issues that led to a split in the first place most likely will resurface again. Why undervalue someone who thinks you are wonderful just as you are and has the ability to be a good partner? In some instances, I would imagine that means the game is over or the 'challenge' is not overwhelming enough. Some like the chase and don't pay attention to what they are chasing. I find that to be fairly short sighted because relationships can be hard enough without all the unneccessary drama. There are more worthwhile challenges then trying to convince someone to treat you with a minimium of respect. I've been that person and it sucks to see someone you care about leave you for someone who has not only hurt them before, but that you know will do it again. The rub is, that by that action you realize that you can no longer invest or return to a relationship with that person. So when they realize that you might have been the better choice, it all becomes irrelevent. The damage is done to all. It can be a vicious cycle. If you find someone that treats you well then I hope that you can recognize it and appreciate it while you have it. Exactly, I've seen females and males take back people who dont deserve a chance, I use to have a female friend that took back her ex bf 19 times, "I actually counted" and he had cheated all 19 times, most of the time with her best friends. Its a shame to see someone take back a ex when they know it wont work, sometimes you can hear it on the voice or see it in there eyes, that they know it wont work, it seems like they'd rather take a chance on the unsure side than the sure side. So far all people that I've seen on LS are good people, there are loving and careing people, and why not give it to someone who wants to be treated well, or who wants to be loved. Our exs dont want us, no matter what they say, until they say "I Want to get back together" then they dont want you, and you deserve someone whos gonna put your first and whos gonna put you as there main focus. Most of the time when ex's do come to there senses its to late, the damage has been done and is unrepairable. We also put up with stuff that our ex's would never put up with. If we pulled any of the stuff that our exs pulled on us, they would kick us out of there lives for good, you know your exs. We shouldnt have to plot and plan to make someone want to be with us.
Yamaha Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Like you said, why assign value to someone who does nor or cannot value you in return? And this value is usually based on the facade of the person and not on their substance. It is a character of human nature to want to impress others with what we have ( eye candy ). Both men and women will put up with someone for far longer if they come in a pleasing package than if they are a good person.
underpants Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 And this value is usually based on the facade of the person and not on their substance. It is a character of human nature to want to impress others with what we have ( eye candy ). Both men and women will put up with someone for far longer if they come in a pleasing package than if they are a good person. Perhaps??? I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I've seen some generally attractive people with not so attractive partners that still treat them poorly. Perhaps it is feeding an insecurity or mutual dysfunction that fuels such an attraction? There are good hearted people that also come in pleasing packages as well.
Author WiseOne1 Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Perhaps??? I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I've seen some generally attractive people with not so attractive partners that still treat them poorly. Perhaps it is feeding an insecurity or mutual dysfunction that fuels such an attraction? There are good hearted people that also come in pleasing packages as well. Yea im like the most best looking guy is the southern region, Im like Mr. Orlando, Mr. Atlanta, Mr. Miami and sofore. Lol But back to being serious, Im not sure why people allow others to treat them poorly, maybe they think they will change one day. Although females tend to take back bad ex BF's wayy easier than a good ex BF. Im starting to think theres nothing else to look foward to, maybe I should change from being mr.nice guy to mr.bad guy.
sultry33 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Yea im like the most best looking guy is the southern region, Im like Mr. Orlando, Mr. Atlanta, Mr. Miami and sofore. Lol But back to being serious, Im not sure why people allow others to treat them poorly, maybe they think they will change one day. Although females tend to take back bad ex BF's wayy easier than a good ex BF. Im starting to think theres nothing else to look foward to, maybe I should change from being mr.nice guy to mr.bad guy. ha hah, well if you are like at least 2 of the above honey you dont need to change;) some girls do like a bad boy but for longterm i think most will agree to a good guy
Angel1111 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Ahhh.....that tricky little ego. I think that a lot of the time, it's hard to distinguish the difference between love and ego because they're sometimes so deeply intertwined. I do, however, think that the definitive test of true love is how you feel about that person once you let go of your ego. Like the documentary about Burt Pugach that I was watching last night - as far as I'm concerned, he did not truly love Linda Biss because he wouldn't let her go and he destroyed her and her life. To me, that has nothing to do with love, and everything to do with ego. I think you make some great points and I don't really see a lot of difference between the sexes, either. It's just easier for us to pick on the opposite sex because that's the gender that's going to offend us the most because those are the relationships we get into. We don't get into relationships with the same sex (well, most of us don't) so we don't get so hurt by the same sex. (This analogy can obviously be switched around if you prefer same-sex relationships.) And then it's easy for us to be more critical of our own sex because we understand their nature so much better and we can see thru them like they were made of glass. That's why women can tell when a woman is playing games with a man, and why men can see another man's behavior for exactly what it is. That's why I always like to get advice from a guy about a guy - because they see way more than I do. The same with guys - if you really want to know what's going on with a woman, ask another woman.
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