kchiapet95 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I took several months off from dating after having a really tumultuous year last year, and I just started a new relationship about a month ago. The biggest problem for me is...he's younger than me. I'm 25, and he's 21. He'll be 22 next month. Now, I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I consider myself an old soul. I've always dated men much older than myself. I've never dated anyone more than 1.5 years younger than me, and I've dated men 20 plus years older than myself. (I have a great relationship with my dad, BTW:)) He is very mature for his age, but I have to admit, this bothers me. I can't help but think, I know I want to get married, have children...sooner rather than later...and of course it's the beginning and I'm definitely enjoying this, but he's so young. Am I going to be frustrating myself, heading down this path? Is this a mistake? But he makes me laugh and he treats me so wonderfully. I've never been treated like this, he's so kind and understanding. I wonder if I'm looking for reasons to sabotage it. How can I keep myself from thinking too far ahead? Is anyone else in a relationship with a younger man? What do you all think?
rod_in_gtown Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I'll give you the flip side, I was once married to an older woman, and I've always considered myself to be very mature for my age. since I was a kid I would always hang out with older people, to the tune of 4 or 5 years older (That's a lot when you're in high school). One of the many problems during my marriage is that my ex wife (9.5 years older than me) had the same problem that you do. She felt that the physical age difference between us made it very difficult for her to respect my decisions and opinions, having herself had more experience at life and an abusive childhood, she felt I could not possibly have a grasp on how to weigh in on raising her child. (she was pregnant when I met her). If you're having second thoughts now, when you're in the starting stages of your relationship, which is when things are nice and beautiful, you're going to have a much much harder time when you get to the rough spots in your marriage. Trust me, when that comes (and it will, nobody is immune to marital problems) you'll have to have extra faith and patience to deal with your preconceived notions of age and experience. There's something about you that sounds a lot like my latest gf. You're not her are you?
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Wow.. come on. now.. 25 and almost 22 is the same age..
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 How can I keep myself from thinking too far ahead? Is anyone else in a relationship with a younger man? What do you all think? Yes sweetie.. I ONLY date younger men... like 10-31 years younger.. It's a lot of fun.. in your case, you are the same age.. don't worry about 2 years.. if you like him.. it's all good.. unless, like you said, you're an old soul and he has a mentality of a 15 yr old.. don't worry about it.. be happy..
mortensorchid Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I've been with those older as well as younger. The youngest I had been with was a 7 year age difference, the oldest was an 18 year difference. Shop around and have fun, that's what I say.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Careful now. Next year he will be dating a younger woman of 12. More seriously, I found I changed alot from 20 to 25. He is going to change alot in between those ages. You are only 25 yourself. That doesn't mean you two can't or won't be on the same wave length but it's something you need to discover. And to discover if it's going to work is only something time will tell. Right now he treats you right and makes you laugh. That's all you need right now. Take a deep breath and enjoy it.
Author kchiapet95 Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Of course Lizzie! I know what you're saying. We are still very close in age. If he was 56 and I was 60, it would matter less to me...but I keep thinking, damn, last year he wasn't old enough to drink. It's little things like that. He's a great guy though...I've always been a worrier. It bothers me more than I'd like to admit... Rod, I don't think I'm your new GF...LOL!
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Of course Lizzie! I know what you're saying. We are still very close in age. If he was 56 and I was 60, it would matter less to me...but I keep thinking, damn, last year he wasn't old enough to drink. It's little things like that. He's a great guy though...I've always been a worrier. It bothers me more than I'd like to admit... Rod, I don't think I'm your new GF...LOL! See .. problem solved..
sandrawg Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 How can I keep myself from thinking too far ahead? Is anyone else in a relationship with a younger man? What do you all think? Yes sweetie.. I ONLY date younger men... like 10-31 years younger.. It's a lot of fun.. in your case, you are the same age.. don't worry about 2 years.. if you like him.. it's all good.. unless, like you said, you're an old soul and he has a mentality of a 15 yr old.. don't worry about it.. be happy.. wow-how old are you, that you're dating men 31 yrs younger? I wanna know your secret. I'm 41. I like younger men too but my bf who's 24 is driving me crazy with his immaturity. See my other posts in the breaking up forum.
rod_in_gtown Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Of course Lizzie! I know what you're saying. We are still very close in age. If he was 56 and I was 60, it would matter less to me...but I keep thinking, damn, last year he wasn't old enough to drink. It's little things like that. He's a great guy though...I've always been a worrier. It bothers me more than I'd like to admit... Rod, I don't think I'm your new GF...LOL! Oh no, I meant that you sounded like my last gf (now ex-gf) She's 25 now and I think she's dating a guy who graduated HS very recently.
Author kchiapet95 Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Yikes! See, I'm a cradle robber! LOL. He only graduated 3 years ago. I graduated 8 years ago! And when I think about my last BF, I was born the year he graduated high school. LOL! It's just too crazy.
Lishy Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Oh honey you have met a great guy ....... so why sabatage it? You are searching for reasons to break up with the best guy you have met so far .... Read that back and then ask yourself why you are doing this!
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 wow-how old are you, that you're dating men 31 yrs younger? I wanna know your secret. I'm 41. I like younger men too but my bf who's 24 is driving me crazy with his immaturity. See my other posts in the breaking up forum. I'm 56.. my latest were 20 yrs younger, then 31 yrs younger (2 guys) those are recent.. I'll check your other posts..
Lishy Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I'm 56.. my latest were 20 yrs younger, then 31 yrs younger (2 guys) those are recent.. I'll check your other posts.. And with a body like yours you will get pick up the bunch!
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 And with a body like yours you will get pick up the bunch! Hahaha.. Lishy.. thanks.. do I ever take advantage of it.. while I can.. and enjoy myself..
sandrawg Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Hahaha.. Lishy.. thanks.. do I ever take advantage of it.. while I can.. and enjoy myself.. Kim Cattral's got nothing on you, honey!
Lizzie60 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Kim Cattral's got nothing on you, honey! My best friend tape all the 'Sex and the City' episodes and said she enjoys her so much.. she reminds her of me..
LolitaAnastasia Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 This is interest My boyfriend is ten years my senior. I'm 24 he is 34. I find it funny when we talk of things. He will say "Back in 92 I went to rave parties it was awesome." Where I would respond with "Well I was in the 2nd Grade" lol. Or my favourite "I finished high school in 1990" and I respond "I started kindergarten in 1990" It is interesting the relationship we have But there isn't much age difference between you and him. LOL. But it is a good relationship 22/25 not a bad age gap. Only three years difference. Not to big a thing. If you feel comfortable then go ahead
Balthazar Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 At your ages, I don't think you should worry about the age gap. I don't think it will be a problem for many years to come, possibly not even then. Just enjoy yourselves and allow the relationship to develop. CHeers,
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