Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 -Been together almost 11 years -He broke up with me in may of 08 because of my negativity and lack of appreciation and affection -He has said let's see if you change in 6 months -He is with someone new (basically while we were breaking up) -I have met someone he found out from my myspace and I told him its not serious (i am not over my ex completely and don't think its fair to him to go any further) He keeps saying down the line and if he feels anything then it was meant to be, and that I need to find myself some more. We even kissed on the lips (no tongue involved) but it was a sweet kiss... My mom says he is doing it the right way and I need to give him a chance to find himself as well... He wanted to be friends, I said that would not work, not now especially... so he said we should just have some space and take it from there... So my ex came over we talked - its in the ex and I thread... he sent me the below text about an hour later: i don't want you to feel that u r waiting for me. I'm in another relationship n it would be selfish of me to tell you to wait. I just told u the way I feel that is all and has nothing to do with ur current situation. he then called me and said now is too soon but in the future there may be... he says the girl likes him mor ethan he likes her but I think he may be waiting for me to get back to being the girl I was when we met, he has said that throughout the last 6 months... but I am afraid that either by that time I won't want to be with him or he will be in love with this girl...I am confused now more than ever...advice please
Amacada Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 ... but I am afraid that either by that time I won't want to be with him Why would you be afraid of that? Why are you scared of getting to a point where you might not want to get back with him? Surely attaining an emotional state whereby YOU can make a decision about him should be something that you should be striving to achieve....not something taht you should be reluctant to achieve.
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 I guess I am not afraid of it, but half of me wants to move on and the other half loves him so much. I was with him since I was 14 years old, he has been my everything for the past 11 years. We lived together since I was 17. today has been as painful as the day he told me it was over. Why was I so blind to everything- why didn't I listen instead of fighting him. There were so many signs that he wanted to make it work towards the end but I countinued to treat the love of my life like sh*t. Now I feel like I can never forgive myself for all these things that I could have changed if I opened my eyes sooner...
nowhereman82 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Why not focus on what he said his problem was you...like the negativity. While focusing on fixing that, not for him, but for you (it is a bad habit to fall into)...by the time you have fixed that you will not want him anymore, met someone new, or you will be the person he remembered. Basically don't waste time Become the you, you know you can be! The rest of it ill fall into line itself nd perhaps not the way you picture.
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 your rigt nowhere but it is just hard...I was a baby when I met him. I feel like I am damaged goods... I have fixed that but doing LC has not helped...I tried to move on with another guy but I don't want to hurt him the way I was...I am not ready... I am just hurt...Still after 4 months...
nowhereman82 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 trust me hun, dont worry about hurting him by dating. 1) it isn't going to because he is the one that ended it, or 2)it will make him want you, and last but not least 3) might meet someone that knocks you off your feet and you will forget about worrying about hurting him!
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Thank you... I have joined a few dating sites (too vulnerable to go out an drink at a bar/club/lounge) to meet someone and well there are others out there but not yet enough to mak eme forget about my ex...
sultry33 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 4 months is not long tobe in the dating game imo work on yourself, you dont need a man to complete you find yourself get some new interests get busy and enjoy at least you are working on yourself your weakness, he has avoided the issues by being with someone else.. hell why would you want him back?
sultry33 Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Thank you... I have joined a few dating sites (too vulnerable to go out an drink at a bar/club/lounge) to meet someone and well there are others out there but not yet enough to mak eme forget about my ex... hey i joined most of them;) but not even logged in since joining.. i really know im not ready... my ex asked if i had replaced him yet.. like that would happen, i can do other things to heal myself finding another is not my priority besides its my ex thats in my head/heart:love:
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