foxh1234 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hi everyone, I am not my usual happy self today. I woke up remembering alot of the great things about my ex and it has really hit me today. Alot of you know my story and know that there is 0 chance that I will ever be with her again. I still miss the good times and the longer we are apart, the more the great memories coming flooding back to me. I know it is not good or healthy to re-live the past and for the most part I never look back, but today for some strange reason I can't get her out of my thoughts. The thing that really kills me is that she now realizes how bad she f**ked up, but it is too late. I really thought she was the one that I would spend the rest of my life with and now I don't know her phone # or even where she is staying now that she moved out of her place with the new guy. Someone who 6 months ago was the center of my universe is now almost a stranger. That just seems wrong. I am just having a bad day and hopefully tomorrow I will feel better. It is just great to be able to come on here and type out how I'm feeling and I know when I am done, I will feel a little better. She cheated, she lied, she walked away, why do I feel like I miss her ? It makes no sense. I am missing something and someone that no longer exists. The person who I fell in love with is not the same person. I long for that person back, but she is dead and buried. The new person is someone I could never be with, I could never trust her, when I look in her eyes, they are empty and without feeling. She looks like the woman I fell in love with, but she is just the shell of her, the inside is different. There is no going back, there is no time machine. 9 days out of 10, I feel great folks, this is just that 10th day I guess. I really thought early on in this thing that if she would just realize what we had and came back to me, everything would be right with the world and our fairytale would pick right up where it left off. I could not have been more wrong, the person that begged me to take her back was no longer the girl I wanted. Too much had changed, too many things had happened. I have accepted that we are done, I don't want her. I just want to meet someone else and take this pain away. I also want my ex to stop trying to contact me, it just brings me back and makes me feel bad. I might take CG's advice and write her back and tell her to please stop contacting me. I am a 41 year old man and I feel like a fool for still being upset about this. It has been 5 months already. OK, my little pity party is over. Link to post Share on other sites
CHANTRESS Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hiya Fox!!!!!!!! Good to see you!!! You know......the truth is you haven't had enough time to grieve her....stop being so hard on yourself. You were with this woman for EIGHT years!!!! My goodness...that's longer than a lot of marriages these days!! Please allow yourself to feel these things...it's healthy...regardless of HOW old you are. In fact...you might even set aside time specifically for this...until you feel like it's out of your system. It really is ok. NO one is judging you for feeling this way. In the meantime vent away.... glad you're here.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hiya Fox!!!!!!!! Good to see you!!! You know......the truth is you haven't had enough time to grieve her....stop being so hard on yourself. You were with this woman for EIGHT years!!!! My goodness...that's longer than a lot of marriages these days!! Please allow yourself to feel these things...it's healthy...regardless of HOW old you are. In fact...you might even set aside time specifically for this...until you feel like it's out of your system. It really is ok. NO one is judging you for feeling this way. In the meantime vent away.... glad you're here.... Thanks, I'm just having one of those days I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 listen to some good music or watch a funny movie. It will go a long way. after a few hours the nastolgia will wear off Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 listen to some good music or watch a funny movie. It will go a long way. after a few hours the nastolgia will wear off Thanks man, I appreciate the kind words. The thing that kills me the most is the wasted years of my life with this woman. 8 f**king years, down the tubes. Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Its ok brotha man. Its not a waste though as long as we dont let it. I feel I wasted 6 years with my ex but you know, everything happens for a reason. We are learning a lot from ourselves,becomming wiser, and confident. We our in touch with our feelings ,which shows we have the capacity to love again. The next woman in our lives wil be one lucky gal. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 hey matey sorry to hear the bad times your going through. but your strong, you'll get back on your feet. i know its hard what everyone goes thru but is it really a waste? i mean its a life experience isnt it. what would you have done if that person walked into your life? life is a risk we all have to take them otherwise whats the point thats the way i look at what i had with my first ex of 3 years. it was doomed to explode. things got hairy. but i learnt alot of life changing lessons from it and had some really good memories with her and that i am thankful for. now its time to move on and make new happy memories with someone new Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Thanks guys, just feeling sorry for myself today. It is so hard to forget, I want to, but a part of me doesn't want to let go of the memories. It's as if I feel like I will never remember them again if I push them out now. Asking myself why does no good. What's done is done. What a f**ked up situation. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hi everyone, I am not my usual happy self today. I woke up remembering alot of the great things about my ex and it has really hit me today. Alot of you know my story and know that there is 0 chance that I will ever be with her again. I still miss the good times and the longer we are apart, the more the great memories coming flooding back to me. I know it is not good or healthy to re-live the past and for the most part I never look back, but today for some strange reason I can't get her out of my thoughts. The thing that really kills me is that she now realizes how bad she f**ked up, but it is too late. I really thought she was the one that I would spend the rest of my life with and now I don't know her phone # or even where she is staying now that she moved out of her place with the new guy. Someone who 6 months ago was the center of my universe is now almost a stranger. That just seems wrong. I am just having a bad day and hopefully tomorrow I will feel better. It is just great to be able to come on here and type out how I'm feeling and I know when I am done, I will feel a little better. She cheated, she lied, she walked away, why do I feel like I miss her ? It makes no sense. I am missing something and someone that no longer exists. The person who I fell in love with is not the same person. I long for that person back, but she is dead and buried. The new person is someone I could never be with, I could never trust her, when I look in her eyes, they are empty and without feeling. She looks like the woman I fell in love with, but she is just the shell of her, the inside is different. There is no going back, there is no time machine. 9 days out of 10, I feel great folks, this is just that 10th day I guess. I really thought early on in this thing that if she would just realize what we had and came back to me, everything would be right with the world and our fairytale would pick right up where it left off. I could not have been more wrong, the person that begged me to take her back was no longer the girl I wanted. Too much had changed, too many things had happened. I have accepted that we are done, I don't want her. I just want to meet someone else and take this pain away. I also want my ex to stop trying to contact me, it just brings me back and makes me feel bad. I might take CG's advice and write her back and tell her to please stop contacting me. I am a 41 year old man and I feel like a fool for still being upset about this. It has been 5 months already. OK, my little pity party is over. Fox, if she is continuing to contact you, that is why you are feeling bad. You set one boundary "I don't want you back...", now set another with her "Stop writing me, I will not take you back no matter what. All trust is gone -- and what you did can not be repaired. Without trust there is no foundation for which love can stand." If you have to, ask a mutual friend to have a talk with her to tell her to leave you be. She is causing more pain and anguish. If she just left you alone, you'd be fine. And there's someone else out there, trust me. It's the same reason I don't want ex's stalking me on my web site. All it does is remind me of them when I'd just assume they stay out of my life for good. Chantress: I love your avatar Link to post Share on other sites
CHANTRESS Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hahaha Cali..thanks...you're a sweetie. Fox...I am sending you a big hug from Florida today.... ((((((FOX)))))))) I know you need one. Just know tomorrow is another day.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Fox, if she is continuing to contact you, that is why you are feeling bad. You set one boundary "I don't want you back...", now set another with her "Stop writing me, I will not take you back no matter what. All trust is gone -- and what you did can not be repaired. Without trust there is no foundation for which love can stand." If you have to, ask a mutual friend to have a talk with her to tell her to leave you be. She is causing more pain and anguish. If she just left you alone, you'd be fine. And there's someone else out there, trust me. It's the same reason I don't want ex's stalking me on my web site. All it does is remind me of them when I'd just assume they stay out of my life for good. Chantress: I love your avatar Thanks CG, I think I have to write her back and get her to stop contacting me. I will have to give it to one of her friends though, as I don't know where she lives now. It seems completely crazy that I still love her but want her to never contact me again. As I told her in my kitchen that night, give me a year or two and maybe we can be friends. I just need time and no contact and I will be OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hahaha Cali..thanks...you're a sweetie. Fox...I am sending you a big hug from Florida today.... ((((((FOX)))))))) I know you need one. Just know tomorrow is another day.... Thanks Chantress, I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hahaha Cali..thanks...you're a sweetie. Aww thanks You too. Thanks CG, I think I have to write her back and get her to stop contacting me. I will have to give it to one of her friends though, as I don't know where she lives now. It seems completely crazy that I still love her but want her to never contact me again. As I told her in my kitchen that night, give me a year or two and maybe we can be friends. I just need time and no contact and I will be OK. She didn't leave a return address on her letters? Don't be apologetic to her. Remember, she is the one who made this bed. She made the choices that brought about all this turmoil. You have NOTHING to apologize for. Just tell her that right now you are recovering and her contact is making your life difficult, not easier. She's caused enough pain. The least she can do is give you the space you need to pick up the pieces and move on with life. If she loves you, she'll honor that. Though, if she REALLY loved you the right way she wouldn't have strayed. Can I kick her a$$ for you? For some reason, I feel like shoving my boot up her hind quarters.... Sorry, I just needed to vent there for a second Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Aww thanks You too. She didn't leave a return address on her letters? Don't be apologetic to her. Remember, she is the one who made this bed. She made the choices that brought about all this turmoil. You have NOTHING to apologize for. Just tell her that right now you are recovering and her contact is making your life difficult, not easier. She's caused enough pain. The least she can do is give you the space you need to pick up the pieces and move on with life. If she loves you, she'll honor that. Though, if she REALLY loved you the right way she wouldn't have strayed. Can I kick her a$$ for you? For some reason, I feel like shoving my boot up her hind quarters.... Sorry, I just needed to vent there for a second Hey man, no return address. I think she was staying with a friend for awhile. I am going to write something today and give it to a good friend of hers. She will make sure she gets it. She needed a good kick in the a** before all this happened. It's too little too late now, I'm afraid. I really appreciate all the words CG. You have been a rock for me and I have listened to all your advice through this crap. Thanks again man. Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I feel like shoving my boot up her hind quarters.... so far it comes out her mouth Link to post Share on other sites
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