desertfire Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Not sure if this is the right place for this post, but it philosophically fits... My wife left me almost a year ago due to stress and personal conflict between her and her family and, to a certain extent, me. The stress was overwhelming to her, along with her personal medical situation. fyi - we were married 9 years.. and have had a great time together.. almost like soul mates, if you would. In any case, she filed for a divorce, which hasn't quite gone through yet, and earlier this year she started trying to make me understand that she has changed and understands that she made a big mistake. I honestly believe that she has changed and want to give it a second chance. The hurt from her leaving broke my heart so badly that I found in my heart the strength to move on, have met some other people, one of which can seriously be another great GF relationship (potentially). My heart is torn and I need advice from others' past experiences... Your feedback is appreciated... seriously.... I can't get my head wrapped around this one...
nowhereman82 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Marriage is forever in my opinion...People make mistakes and are not perfect. If you can understand that stress broke her...perhaps you should try saving your marriage. There was no cheating that you mention. "To err is human, to forgive is divine" or something along those lines....
selena_cat Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I say dont do it, the fact that she was about tofile for a divorce, what will hapen if she has a change fo heart again? does that mean youhave to walk on eggshells? i understand mrriage is important but if someone has itchy feet and wants to walk out, nothing will stop them, she has to understand the decision she made by deciding to ask for a divorce, dont make it too easy,. maybe then she will think twice, thats just me, fokks dont value what they canhave so easily, learning the hard way
Author desertfire Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 selena - I agree with the not making it too easy part... I wanted to make sure of her true intentions.. and understand if she truly has figured out the weight of her previous decision, and I believe she has. Internally she is quite destroyed and has broken down trying to get things back. I pity her in a certain sense.. not that I am trying to be mean... and I can see the plight in her effort. nowhereman - I too believe that marriage is forever... we had a truly awesome bond, something I believe is unsurmountable by any other relationship we could have with anyone else... not trying to play it up or bury myself in the feel good feelings, but we really were two peas in a pod for the longest time, and I think it can come back now that she has figured out what it is that was pulling her apart.
Author desertfire Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 If she truly has rediscovered her need for commitment, what are the odds that she will let it slip? I know this is a naive question, but I am asking in terms of what can be the forces that support her letting it slide... fyi - there were no external forces that made her break the marriage.. it was self driven, and there was no cheating involved.... Need your insight and am subscribing to your knowledge/experience...
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